Why did you change the narrative style from first person to third person, than back to first and back again to third to continue in first person?
I have read a few of your other stories and you haven't done that in any of them.
Such changes disrupt the story flow.
While the story itself had great, descriptive sex scenes, I also didn't get why you switched from first person to third person? Also, the ending seemed kind of abrupt, but the story still had a good pace.
by
Anonymous02/11/09
great but....
hey its a great story but WHAT ABOUT AIDS N HEPATITIS N OTHER LIFE THREATENING INFECTIONS
no idea if it was any good, I spent too much time trying to keep track of your changes between perspectives.
by
Anonymous03/05/12
loved it!
I want to be that daughter! great sex scenes, that's the only reason we read, no? also, I love a good deflowering, & this story had an exciting one. keep up the good work!
English
PLEASE!
Will you be my DADDY?! PLEASE!
Okay
Okay Story, needed a lot more sex scenes though. Made me cum twice!! :p
Confusion
Why did you change the narrative style from first person to third person, than back to first and back again to third to continue in first person?
I have read a few of your other stories and you haven't done that in any of them.
Such changes disrupt the story flow.
I Agree With 'Confusion'
While the story itself had great, descriptive sex scenes, I also didn't get why you switched from first person to third person? Also, the ending seemed kind of abrupt, but the story still had a good pace.
great but....
hey its a great story but WHAT ABOUT AIDS N HEPATITIS N OTHER LIFE THREATENING INFECTIONS
Confusing shit
no idea if it was any good, I spent too much time trying to keep track of your changes between perspectives.
loved it!
I want to be that daughter! great sex scenes, that's the only reason we read, no? also, I love a good deflowering, & this story had an exciting one. keep up the good work!
Outstanding.
I really enjoy your imagination. Keep going. Thanks
Confusing perspectives, and a little too short! Did all his friends cum over?
Fantastic
Just fantastic, one of the greatest! Chapter two please.
Good horny story
Nice short story.Great fantasy!
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