by qqnforyou6
I am a 50 year old male and like what you wrote, am looking forwards to seeing more keep up the good job.
Very well written. Enjoyed the first time aspect and lust involved. Hate stories that are hit and and do not include the seduction aspects and yours was perfect. Teasing till you can't turn back
Loved the daughter as the surprise. I thought it was going to be the Mother and she was having an affair.
A beautiful love scene of a Father and Daughter making love.
One question? was she a virgin ? Had she used a candle and popped her cherry.
Hope you will continue.
😌👍🏼 Despite the wicked nature of the story; it is still an awesome love story!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I found the story exciting and the level of description about right for me. The set-up seemed a bit rushed to me. As a 65 year old white male I prefer a touch more "romance" in stories I read. Anxious to read the second chapter.
There were a few typos, not enough to make it difficult to read, but a beta reader might help you correct those instances.
A nice twist on a cleche concept, although it was written very poorly. Just because you write in the first person doesn't mean that you need to use the word "I" six or seven times in a paragraph, several times you used it three times in one sentance. We know who's speaking. There were other issues as well but I'll refrain from saying more except to suggest taking a writing class or find a good content editor. Good luck moving forward.
However, it was erotic!
A Daddy's fantastic fantasy.
Male 50
as a 26 male, I enjoyed this story very much, it was rushed and full of sex just like the situation in the story, but I did wish there were some backstory of teasing between daddy and daughter. A little more romance.
Possibly involve mum with the daddy and daughter storyline in the future story, such as mum and daughter, or mum walks in with daddy and daughter, it has a lot of potential.
But definitely needs more romance and teasing if made into a series.
Great work for a one-off story. loved it.
tHE STORY WAS GREAT,
I think making it into more stories would be good...........................................A date with Daddy, Eating meal out, a walk in the park with my better then boyfriend.