The Ward

there had better be more

come on author this needed to be longer

Absolutely incomplete.

Is this a "teaser" for a continuation? As is, gave it a "1" because of being left hanging. Otherwise would of been a "3" or a "4."

This Is Not A Story

One.

Is this a continuation of the story No Love where those two bitches did Robert dirty? If so it might be less confusing to us readers if an annotation or something was made at the beginning.

That trick had the nerve to show up and offer Robert a mail clerk job that he is over qualified for. What is wrong with her? Her ass need to be seeking treatment. I hope Robert get the help he needs and not let his soon to be ex have that kind of hold over him.

BTW...there isn't anything wrong with a mail clerk position. It just seem like that fool offered Robert the job as an insult. What is Clara's position in the company? She had too much involvement in his employment to be just a old coworker.

Aw come on....

At least put enough meat on the bone to get a taste!

Not even half a story here

Where's the beginning? Is page 2 still being written? What did Clare do? Who is Tameka?

Be Patient

Everyone: we all complain when authors do not label multi-part stories as such. Here the author did. So be patient and wait for future chapters. I do think Literotica should not accept part 1 if the author has not at least given them a draft of part 2.

Good Read***

But a weak follow-up. Looking forward to the next submission.

Big Error

You did not list this story as part of a series to be fair to your readers. If this is not a multi-part story, you should be embarrassed as it is not complete as is.

What...?

Bilal? The Muezzin of Muhammad? Odd place for him to appear. Maybe he's going to call us to pray that the author gives us a second chapter.

Why do I feel that there's a need for revenge

From what I gather a coworker or employer named Clara had somehow seduced and stolen Roberts wife and gotten him fired and now without remorse she expects him to suck it up and accept watever offer she gives him. Judging from his side it's simple to see how he would lose it, but I feel like more info is nescessary. I just hope this isnt a story where the main male character is merely used and puttered around like a puppet, I much rather like stories where a man sticks to his guns and makes something better for himself; while those that wronged him suffer.

You really need to label the chapters so that people can figure out what the fuck is going on. I had no idea I was jumping on at chapter two or whether there would be a chapter after this one. I came across the first chapter before this one entirely by accident glancing over your stories for a clue as to what the issue is. Mark your stuff because these shorts don't stand on their own.

That said, Clara is an evil, evil bitch. What the hell? She deliberately took his job away and seduced his wife because he wouldn't cheat on his wife with her? What a cunt.

Are we a moron

So you got this dude suicidal cause his wife left him for a chick cause he wasn't fucking her. You my friend make readers IQ's drop

Just Saying!!!

Maybe the author had no thoughts of a multiple part story until he read the comments. I know I made mention of wanting more. What ever he wants to do it's his story!!!!!

Very good lead in . . .

BD,

I never give advice to other authors; their art is their art. But, in this case I have to say that this was very good--but--only as a first chapter of maybe half a dozen. I mean really, guy. But a 5 anyway for the quality of the writing and the emotional impact.

Matt Moreau

ehhh

good not great

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES

thorns have no smell. TK U MLJ LV NV

Good Start

Patiently waiting for chapter two.

Very good start

I liked it, I think it has a lot of potential. I wish you would have had a better dividing point. It just stopped in a strange spot. However, I do want to know the rest of the story.

ending?

I was drawn in, its really good.

But never ended:(

Idiotic, only idiotic!!! MINUS 5*!!!

What a bunch of crap!!!

1*

cuck shit.