My Wife Becomes a Slut

Another N**** Lover story.

Sick asshole author. Call it the way it is.

Laughably Bad and Predictable

IR would seem to be more suitable for this. 1*

get real

36DD... 5'7" and 116 pounds...and die for ass??? come on Please...That does not fly

...More to come?....

...Don't bother.

Juvenile

Get an editor or at least proof read it. This theme and scenario have been repeated many times and have been better written.

editor

Get someone, anyone, to PROOF READ your stories from now on. Hopefully someone with English as their primary language.

Crappy read

Interracial or Fetish

You have to wonder about a writer that instead of his sister calls her his wifes sister-in-law?

children should not be allowed to write stories on this site and this is either the work of a child or a special needs adult

Are all american writers on this site gay or cucks?

No doubt it isn't so, but where have I heard this before recently?

After reading this I would be highly surprised if the author has actually ever been with a woman. It reads like a middle school jerk off fantasy.

tenses

Try first person.....better yet...stop writing

Next chapter

He finishes with her you suck his dick he does youTypical gay.

the author is

pretty simple, but the losers that favored it they make him look like a wizard. Also i have to agree with the statement it is starting to look like all american authors are sickos.

To short and no buildup.

Not a bad story but needs more of everything.

good story

It's a good story just rushed. Slow down more details linger on what the girls are doing etc. Could easily be 4 pages with everything going on. Forget the haters don't know why they even bother coming to the site. I think they're little dicked self-loathing pre-mature ejaculators.

Needs some work

but it's a good start--a good first effort.
You have the proper mindset and imagination to write good pornographic fiction. but you need some help. Keep working on it. You definitely have potential.

What's with. All these chucky writer who cannot put a decent story together .

Just pure garbage from being to end,.so end your career as a writer. You are another sicko thinking the male population gets off on this trash.

Somehow, this isn't so bad....

may be it is because, they checked in with each other FIRST, they obviously have a good relationship already, and the opening up of this marriage is to allow BOTH of them to try some strange on the side. He isn't pining away lonely, waiting for her next selfish demand to destroy layer after layer of his love for her from him. Of course, it's not too late to turn it into one of THOSE kind of stories. But so far, I like this better.

More

More American cucky crap.

Potential

It was a start, need to pace it better. Also "becomes a slut"? I think she has been there before. 3*

1*

Please put it in Group Sex or Fetish.

Get a f***ing editor, for God's sake!

Somebody needs to stand up and defend the written language. That someone is not YOU!!! 1* for poor premise and transparent characters. Like something out of a really bad letter to Penthouse forum.....

SHIT HOUSE POTENTIAL

UNO ESTRELLA

I agree with the other poster...

that somebody has to take a stand for the English language! Please get an editor! This was very poorly written.

Wife's NAME

How many DIFFERENT ways does the author spell his wife-of-six-years NAME? Too many! If an author can't get THAT right, how is he gonna get the REST of the story right? (He's NOT, and didn't!)

First recommendation. Take a remedial English course. Junior High!
Second recommendation. Start noticing 'things!' Private Houses don't have several 'stalls' - maybe a separate little room for the Porcelain Throne, Rarely will there be two Thrones in/around a single bathroom area!

Sounds More as though hubby and wife became a slut couple

.

Get a dictionary

I'm not one to gripe about spelling and such, but this was nearly unreadable.

re: anonymous- good story

What's the matter dickhead. Feeling guilty being a cucky? Feel better now that you bashed others for your shortcomings.

everyone's a cheap slit in howdy world......

You should invest in a good dictionary and take a couple of basic writing classes before trying that again....at the very least, get editorial help.
If you ever learn spelling, verb conjugation, sentence structure tense and person/number, you might want to think up a story worth writing....'cause, dude, this one was a complete write-off!
I gave you one star, because, as I've said before, anyone with the guts to submit something to this forum deserves that much.
Sadly, starting at 5, I was forced to reduce your rating until I hit bottom and, for the first time since coming here, considered totally trashing you.
That's not helpful, but you do so badly need editorial help and a worthwhile story to tell before you try again.....I hope you do.

That's slut, not slit.

cuck slut

as I watched my wife getting fucked I found that I loved it and we now both love to suck cock and get cummed

Quit submitting this shit.

Pathetic!

BBC slut Wife

My wife much like yours loves to ride a BBC while I watch
at 5ins I'm no match for what they can give her !