32 - You're My Only Home

lovely story

I really really enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for sharing it with us.
Looking forward to your future contributions.

Excellent story

and it really was a story. Well done.

Well done

Pleasantly plotted with enough speed and drama. Far more successfully humorous than can be expected from an amateur writer. Humor is the hardest style to write. Well done and thanks for sharing your talent.

A proper love story

Sloppy, barely credible, tear jerker, just what a proper love story ought to be. Liked it a lot. 4*

"Sloppy, barely credible, tear jerker, just what a proper love story ought to be. Liked it a lot. 4*"

Brilliant review. That comment made me laugh. Thanks!

Thank you

I enjoyed reading your story and look forward to your next one.

Commas

Actually, your grammar and punctuation is better than 95% of the stuff on this site -- and that's the view of a professional editor. If you put a comma where you naturally pause while reading your story aloud, you'll rarely go wrong.

Well Done

It was short, and descriptive to a point, and very well written. Keep up the good work.

commas huh.....

commas are over-rated , your stories are , so far , under rated......

Great writing style and story

Your writing style really draws your readers in and the content of your story was very enjoyable. Continue writing. Great job. 5 stars.

Thanks for all the kind comments! Right now I have another short-ish story submitted, this time in the Manic Pixie Dream Girl genre. I'm working on (1) a tale of redemption for a lot lizard and the man who doesn't deserve her (at least, that's where it's headed now), (2) what I'm thinking of as a bottle episode set entirely in a dorm hallway over the course of an afternoon, and (3) an experimental work using only love letters from war and flashbacks to their one night together. I have a much longer, more involved story on the way, about two damaged kids who manage to find each other. It has plot progression, character development, and petting zoos. All of the critical elements of literature. If I can find a subtext for dummies book, I might even toss in some of that.

Finally, I'm working slowly on a story about ancient Rome that I frankly consider to be beyond my modest capabilities. Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

I liked your writing style and the story line was pretty good, so I stumbled through to the end. To be honest, I absolutely hate attractive women, really any women, with extensive tattoos. A woman's body is a work of art to be appreciated and covering it with ugly ink is about the worst thing I can think of. Obviously a lot of people disagree these days, but time will be the final arbiter of those decisions.

Well written interesting little tale. Looking forward to see what you try with something a little longer and deeper.

5/5 nuff said

thx for the read

Interesting and nice

The other anonymous above is an idiot, this is an interesting and good story. I would like it to be bit longer with more development in their changing attitudes to each other, but it is a very good start. Keep it up.

LOVED YOUR STORY

i LOVE YOUR WRITING STYLE. SWEET STORY, LOVE HUMOR IN WHAT I READ. KEEP WRITING!

Wow

When I read your first story, I was disappointed there weren't more. Now there are more and I look forward to reading them.

Keep it up

I don't usually delve into the romance section here but I am certaainly glad I did today. Loved your story. I truly look forward to seeing what you post next. 5/5

So nice....

I'll be looking for your handle and hoping for more stories soon. You have a lovely writing style...I want to wring Jay's neck and pat him on the back!

32 - You're My Only Home

A very wonderful story full of passion narrated very nicely. Though says making a fresh attempt to renew at writing, it is really very good and very passionate and would like to read more of such stories.

Tattoos?

Yuk.

1*

First Time Back- You did GREAT

Thoroughly enjoyed it. Would have enjoyed a ending that was more expansive, but thoroughly enjoyable as is!

Not a fan of tatoos

I think that the tatoo would end up being erased due to it being a permenant reminder of her abuse but the story was very enjoyable regardless. It could be longer and a pregnant with another additon epilogue would give it a happy ever after but nice regardless.

Great

I really liked the humor as well as the construction of the story. I am not a big fan of tatoos but that doesn't impact the quality of the story telling... it actually added to it when she discloses the tatoo at the end.

Mixed feelings....

I like your writing style, your characters while somewhat one dimensional are generally good but could definitatly do with more depth though I appreciate that you warned us of that befo're the story.

My biggest problem with your stories this one included as are a few of your others is that they all feel unfinished, they all read like a very promising first one or two chapters then stop.
I think this is why it seems like you struggle to develop your characters, you just don't give them the time, attention and length of story to develop in to the rounded characters they show promise of becoming.

Loved the story

I really enjoyed the self-deprecating humor. Nice romance of people needing each other and coming through rather than letting the other down.

On a side note, it's so weird to have someone mark a story down because they don't like tattoos. Weird. I don't like tats, but what does that have to do with the story or the writing? Should I mark a story down because I don't like the color of the walls in a room you describe? People are very, very weird.

great storyline, good story

Could use a second chapter...has potential.

Wow

Not witty enough for your story but keep writing

Enjoyed the story and your Title

I was convinced that you were the single guy that you portrayed.
Your sidebar comments added to that nicely.
I questioned your decision to leave that night.. to do that one thing... was afraid you were going to screw it up!
The ring was a pleasant surprise. I would read it again!

Nice

Sweet story.
Would have benefited from more depth and back story.

Very Nice Story

Well written short story. I do NOT like tattoos, but I did like this girl which is the important thing in a relationship. The details are lacking people, but it's a SHORT STORY!

Another nice read

I am going through each of your stories and I haven't found one that I haven't liked a lot. I just hope you will resurface and continue to write

Must agree with Avidfa and hubbys_ princess comments

Both comments were spot on. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️