- All
Comments (6) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
More please. I hope for a longer story next time.
Not much more than a reasonable story start
OK.....you've created a scene and a possible story plot, but, but, but.......move on to the next part of the story and the next and the next, etc. etc. etc.
Welcome to Literotica
Fifty shades of Daisy Grey? Let's hope you have more than one orgasm in you!
Right out of the starting gate (as they say in Louisville) you struck a cord. We need more hot female writers in this genre. You are a fine filly of an erotic writer and we look forward to your career.
Keep em cumming!
Good Start
It was O.K. but could have been much longer. Unless BOSS MAN was bang bang thank you man.
Getting your first story
posted is a big rush!
Enjoy the feeling, then get to working on your next one. And the one after that, etc.
It's a good start ... you go girl!
An OK tale
However something seems to be missing in the writing. Maybe a bit more description or dialogue is needed.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Big Boss Man or
More submissions by Daisy_Grey.