Neighborhood Dad

Nice start.

But very short. More of a tease than anything. Hopefully the next chapter has some meat to it. Interesting characters and well written. Thank you.

Great Start

Nice start; keep going; with longer chapters; you write well!

More

Need chapter 2

Very good start ....

I like your style. Looking forward to seeing more of this story

Can't wait for more

Not often do I see a story written this well on this site. Can't wait for the next chapter.

This is great

Wow... what a great story so far. It would be easy to say "it's only one page" but people either don't know or forget that one page in Lit is 10 A4 pages. I'm looking forward to reading the rest. Please don't make us wait long. Thank you for sharing.

Very Nice

I will agree with the others that have posted feedback and say that you have a nice style going for this story. I hope that it comes easy to you to write more. And although anticipation can be such sweet agony, please dont keep us waiting too long. Thank you for sharing.

Liked style. Hope it gets finished. Thank you for shareing with us.

A very nice start with good background and character development. If the rest of the chapters are of this quality it will be a very good story.

From the Heart

A great story so far. Good observations on emotions. Flows well.

Can't give you a 5* (yet...)

I'm pretty stingy w/ the 5s as a rule... but I was tempted to give you one here. This is one of the times Lit needs a 1/2 star, you got a 4 however, only because I don't know where this is going - but if you keep writing & developing the characters & story line, you could have a 'classic' here. Keep Writing!

Great

Refreshing to read this quality here! I'm ready for Chapter 2

Good start

Very nice for a first chapter. I like the set up and you did very good with showing that a man married that long even if he thinks about sex with someone the moment he is alone his mind will turn to his lost wife. Very good tug on the heart string there.

You could have spent a bit more on his daughter and her current friends. Establish them a bit more then intro Miranda...

or you could have had her be a member of his daughter "brat' pack who is maturing quicker than the others. Maybe was a year or so older to start. I had a lot of friends from different ages. Not at all unusual for one to still be wanting to play computer games and the other to be thinking of cars and sex.

Like i said good start.

MST

I would give you a six if I could...

First chapter has opened up so many possibilities it is wonderful, and you make their emotions clear to the reader. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Fantastic start

Really enjoyable

Wow !! N

Great story and love the mature man young girl genre! My mother was married to my father at 16 and no we are not from some neighborhood in the woods!

he is living dangerously

it will be difficult for him to not get burned

Fabulous

You can just feel this one creeping up on you. One day this story is going to rank in the top 20.

Phenominal beginning...

but everywhere you go from the mountain top is certain to be 'Down!'