The Summons

Not quite sure what to think about the opening asshole comments..

But overall the short story you wrote was very enticing, it definitely seems like you are on the right track.

Only critisism I can give you is to edit your work (ex: quiet instead of quite) but overall I liked the story and look forward to seeing further submissions from you. :D

Thanks.

Thank you for the encouragement. Although this is my first submission, I have read this for a couple of years. I also read the comments. I have found that there are a lot of people out there that love to criticize, but do not try it themselves, and do not put their name to the foul things they sometimes say. So that was what my comment about the assholes was about. Sorry if it sounded crude. Again, thanks for the encouragement and the vote.

The only thing I would say needs to be improved is the fluency of the story. No matter what, all erotica needs to flow well, and this story seems a little choppy. Other than that (and a few minor spelling mistakes) you did a great job!