The story itself isn't bad, but you could use an editor. For example, you don't need "had, had", one had will do. But, overall not too bad. Keep writing.
by
Anonymous12/23/13
write more
write more, soon, would love to read how much more she can take, loved it
If this has any resemblance to Fifty Shades it's mere coincidence. I have never read the books, nor do I intend to. Thank you for reading this though. :)
by
Anonymous04/04/14
DOESN'T BELONG IN THIS CATEGORY........
... OF INCEST. SHOULD BE UNDER BDSM.
by
Anonymous01/08/15
well the girl is normal but the father is sick,sick,sick and the writer is even worst,it s not incest it s a RAPE,RAPE.A big fucking zero....
by
Anonymous01/08/15
people that read that shit and like it are not normal
by
Anonymous08/18/15
I loved it. That's exactly how I like to get fucked. My boyfriend fucks me like this until I'm raw and then fucks me more. This story was really hot and incredible.
by
Anonymous08/18/15
wish my daddy would do this
by
Anonymous03/14/16
Mmm lucky if i had a daddy id want him to fuck me like this.
Beastiality?
Fantastic story until you decided to toss that last little bit in there about their dog fucking her... Nope.
Awesomely delicious story!!
Loved this short story...wish there was more to it!! I do hope that you will continue on about what happens next!
great story
Please keep the story alive and continue on from where you stopped. I wish someone would do this to me!
Not too bad...
The story itself isn't bad, but you could use an editor. For example, you don't need "had, had", one had will do. But, overall not too bad. Keep writing.
write more
write more, soon, would love to read how much more she can take, loved it
Familier
This seems a lot like 50 shades of grey
Not Fifty Shades
If this has any resemblance to Fifty Shades it's mere coincidence. I have never read the books, nor do I intend to. Thank you for reading this though. :)
DOESN'T BELONG IN THIS CATEGORY........
... OF INCEST. SHOULD BE UNDER BDSM.
well the girl is normal but the father is sick,sick,sick and the writer is even worst,it s not incest it s a RAPE,RAPE.A big fucking zero....
people that read that shit and like it are not normal
I loved it. That's exactly how I like to get fucked. My boyfriend fucks me like this until I'm raw and then fucks me more. This story was really hot and incredible.
wish my daddy would do this
Mmm lucky if i had a daddy id want him to fuck me like this.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Surprised By Daddy or
More submissions by ayna18848.