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English
Thank you.
So beautiful....thank you. More please.
crawl
back rainbow. ur tahing up space
Very nice
This would make a nice series
Superb Start To A Series!
Excellent story line, well written and erotically short to the point!
BRAVO!
A promising start compromised by a rushed ending...
If he really loved and respected her that much then, in my subjective view, I doubt very much that they would have gone straight from confession to copulation that quickly. I'm not going to say it doesn't happen in real life, but from where I'm sitting it sounds a little improbable. Well-written, though - I certainly didn't notice any of the spelling or grammar howlers which spoil many an otherwise enjoyable tale on this site. I would be inclined to pull this and re-write somewhat. Slow the pace down, then re-submit it either as a longer story or an ongoing series. Of course, it's your damn story and you can do what you want with it! If I ever get round to finishing any of the hundred-and-one stories I'm working on and get them submitted, I'll be able to show you how I'm thinking...
Rush Rush Rush
Build build build then a two paragraph ending. Another writer who fucks up endings.
Why bother writing their story if you cannot take it to its conclusion???????
This was very good, then SNAP, over. WTF???
Readers don't want a taste don't we want the whole enchilada. What your story did was tantalize us. We savored the flavor then when we went back for more an empty plate. The wonderful taste became bitter.
Please finish!!!
Great Read*****
Very well written and very hot!! Your story your ending it worked for me. Thanks for sharing.
5 Stars
Sweet and entirely too short - I would have loved for the story to have run a bit longer - hopefully a series will develop. Thank you for sharing...
Good but.......
It was great but you need to proof read. Organized is spelled with a z not an s.
Organised
To Anonymous.
As the author is from the UK, organised is most certainly spelt with an s.
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