Okay, the device of "you're inside the writer's head", is amusing for a few paragraphs, but it quicky becomes a crutch to avoid filling out the story with emotional depth or an involving plot.
And the scene where the father, Patrick, figuratively slaps himself in the forehead and goes: "Damn, I've been making everyone in the house miserable for twenty years; guess I'd better stop now, huh?"; is far too lazy. Even for a short story.
The mechanics of the story are fine and the style does show the writer can be clever in his word use, but in the end it's fancy frosting on a bargain cupcake.
by
Anonymous01/16/14
not difficult
to write worthless ill-literotica dog do do
by
Anonymous02/22/14
Too stupid
All you have to do it look at the number of views - 1234 (incredibly low) and then look at the number of favorites - 2 (those same two drunk guys that like everything) to know that this was simply awful.
by
Anonymous08/30/15
Glad you stopped.
Really pretty lame. Hope you found something better to do.
English
Category?
Isn't this simply an incest story? Why is it here?
Too Cute by Half.
Okay, the device of "you're inside the writer's head", is amusing for a few paragraphs, but it quicky becomes a crutch to avoid filling out the story with emotional depth or an involving plot.
And the scene where the father, Patrick, figuratively slaps himself in the forehead and goes: "Damn, I've been making everyone in the house miserable for twenty years; guess I'd better stop now, huh?"; is far too lazy. Even for a short story.
The mechanics of the story are fine and the style does show the writer can be clever in his word use, but in the end it's fancy frosting on a bargain cupcake.
not difficult
to write worthless ill-literotica dog do do
Too stupid
All you have to do it look at the number of views - 1234 (incredibly low) and then look at the number of favorites - 2 (those same two drunk guys that like everything) to know that this was simply awful.
Glad you stopped.
Really pretty lame. Hope you found something better to do.
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