58 - Meaningless

Different...

I thought your story was great and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thank you.

Really good, but...

It doesn't really make clear what happens with Claire. But it is still an outstanding fantasy.

Ok so... I laughed my fucking ass off :)

This to me plays out as this guy loosing his mind and having this as a fucked up fantasy. That fits this whole thing together, and even if its something a little more serious its still fucking amazing. Did I drop enough f bombs to make your character happy yet :) lol

5 of fucking 5 (enough yet hehe)

As a side note to the author, I've read all of your album entries so far and have found all of them enjoyable but one (the letters thing is not and never will be something I can read and enjoy) and that is a dislike of that literary style. That said, your good man. One of the better at the shorter *here's a story go read it* guys here. Not much for char development, as you've said yourself, but the story itself gives a really good feel of the characters themselves sometimes. Like your guy in this one, after two pages I know more about him as a character than I do about some of the 10 20 and 30 page things written here with good character development and plot devices.

Your preface also apologizes for the profanity in that you don't like it but that your character seemed to call for it as you were writing, yet the profanity and the characters general level of sanity seem to be brought together well, damn fine job there.

Also as an aside, you stated that you like to write about damaged people, well everyone in this life is damaged in some way or anther, more so than a lot of literary figures. So by all means write about the damaged guys all ya want, but not EVERY story needs a reformed prostitute or an abused girl in it. How about yon protagonist actually meeting a strait girl (as in not damsel in distress or something of that nature) and see how the fucked in the head guy and the normal girl get along?

What you've written so far is fantastic, and I kind of want to see what happens when you take on something a little bigger or a little deeper. Like the author of your story, you've set some high expectations amongst me and some others, don't go fruitbat fucky trying to live up to it :)

Thanks for the read(s). Peace and good writing, looking forward to the next one again.

needs more

this one seems incomplete. i need to know what happens now betwen them.

To Storm113

You're absolutely right! This one ends too abruptly, without a doubt.

I'll be honest and give a little of the reasons why. I wrote this one on a whim, it was the combination of a few ideas that were rattling around in my head and wouldn't go away, so it came together really quickly (a day... maybe two). Then it left just as quickly as my attention was pulled to other stories. Too be honest, I expected the style to be too grating for anyone to be particularly fond of it, so I was happy sort of dropping it.

Since then, I've been contemplating ways to maybe serialize this character. What I'm thinking of now would take it to a darker place, so I haven't really started in on yet. Maybe someday though, eh?!

Thanks

for giving me a damn good laugh.

thanks

what a hoot really loved it. too bad it wasn't longer. I really enjoyed their interplay and would have loved to have seen a confrontation with his brother.
Thanks

needs more

seems incomplete. i like what you have , but you need to expand it please.

Good start , keep going on this one

I agree, it is good but I want more and I think the characters deserve more