All Comments on 'Warrior: The Beginning Ch. 02'

love the story line just confused about her not wanting to fuck a male then cant wait to fuck one. the broken english makes it hard to read also.

A bit disappointed. In the first chapter she was a tad upset because the fehrada seemed to think all the burada were good for is having babies and spreading their legs. Now a big chunk of her goal seems to be getting pregnant and spreading her legs.

But it just got too boring.

Every second sentence out of whatever-the-fuck-the-main-characters-name-is mouth was "want to spread", but you said at the beginning there would be story telling.

And the grammar you are using makes it even worse. You are not even changing dialogue style when a different race is speaking. Not to forget that "Majesty" snorted in response to at least three statements before I stopped reading. Not very dignified for an elf queen.

Most disappointing is that you have not divulged any of the setting lore yet, except for the alternate names for what I assume are dwarves, elves and humans. Though it is more fun to imagine they are really goblins, orks and bugbears who are colourblind. Which explains the grammar and snorting, too.

I'll withhold a rating so as to not reduce your average as some people might be more able to bear the issues.

Btw, is English your mother tongue?

She isn't terribly educated, but wants to be a warrior and not stuck at home making babies. Once I got used to the style and word structure, I found the tale engaging.

I would really like to see a chapter or two to resolve the tale. Please continue!

What a fun, and confusing read. Many times I had to back track to figure out who said what. That was the fun of it. I just hope we're not left hanging, and it is finished some time in the future. Five stars.