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English
Darkness comes early in February...
This story, while very well written, was a dark tale -- too dark for me, I'm afraid. One innocent dead, and another destroyed, while the psychotic perpetrator goes free.
I agree...
While this particular story doesn't exactly strike my fancy, I do appreciate it as a literary work in itself.
IS THERE ENTERTAINMENT IN RAPE STORIES?
As a male who has worked with the perpetrators of such acts I find these stories very disturbing. No non-consensual act is a turn-on. However, the story does get well into the mind of such a disturbed person. Jealousy does do strange things to even the most mild mannered and love is a craziness in itself, so well done for that. But is it art?
On another score - and something that makes me irritated on this site - please check your grammar more carefully. Doesn't help in the first para to have mistakes. There is detail in the description, put detail into the execution.
shame
i've read and enjoyed your other work and just can't understand how you could write this story showing such a depraved indifference to human life. i'm apalled not only that you could present this to your readers as erotica, but also that you could ask for it to be voted a winner. shame.
wrong category
should have been erotic horror
*
can't understand how you could write something this horrid. erotic? maybe, but only for the very sick in the head.
what the F is this all about?
DP, can't believe you wrote this...this could have been soooo good, too....in your prologue you gave PaulX35 way too much positive feedback...this is so uncharacteristic of your stories...i think paulie has some serious issues....he sure f***ed up this story....gave you 50 'cause the words were spelled correctly....even erotica must meet certain qualifications....just because someone can get an erection when a dog gets run over or someone is murdered DOES NOT mean that putting the event in story form makes it erotica....this is just a turd...it doesn't even qualify as a piece of s**t! when an author writes something exceptional, praise and accolades are in order, but when they turn out a piece of crap and attempt to pass it off as erotica, the author needs appropriate feedback as well. I'm thoroughly disappointed that this is even uploaded. Ultimately, it reflects on the site censors; what a bunch of useless turds!
The only way
this story could ever have worked is for the police to find that Justin has a rock hard alibi, her friends remember him at the disco. They tell Justin about him.
And a lynch party is arranged, nice and slow, mind you, no six foot drop to break his neck and no slip knot to choke him.
Then pour boiling water over his genitalia and leave him for the vultures.
Oh, and perhaps smear paint stripper on his skin to help him stay concious, thanks.
Why do I get the impression this story is not yours?
Good tale...
This REALLY should have been in Erotic Horror, though. I gave it 5 Big Stars, but seriously. Way too dark for this category, IMHO.
Story is Key
Was looking at your list and saw it was one of your lower scored stories. Wondered why so I decided to give it a read. Glad I did.
Not everything in the world of romance is candles and chocolate hearts. There is the darkness of jealousy, the painful feeling of love unreturned, and of passion driven madness.
Is it Erotica? Some in your comments have questioned that or flat denied that this is. It is not erotic as in stimulating but it is erotica. And a very good story deserving of a higher score than the people wanting a happy ending to everything will give.
Beautifully written, poetically disturbing, and a good look into the minds of a lot of people. Good job.
MST
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