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English
the final two lines
say so much,
"the feel of your skin beneath me",
making you the dominant, having your way with him, to fulfil your wants and desires,
"I want you so completely"
completely being such a broad defining word that it creates that sense of want and need, for the person in question.
I think you may be able to lose the second line
and make it slightly higher impact on the final line, where the rhyme adds a highlight
but here you have a repetitive echo that doesn't seem to add meaning.
like this 5-ed
I Loved It "So Completely"
Wow that was a passionate, loving composition that expresses the pain of loving someone so much it hurts.
I always look forward to your beautiful works that never disappoint the reader.
Please keep up the great work and thanks for sharing your talent.
Doc
I'M LOVING IT
OMW! These poems are so addictive. Sweet, short and Exceedingly Hot!
** EROTICISM AT IT'S BEST **
Wow! MzFly, - "So Completely" - Is Amazing!
"The feel of your skin beneath me."
It's like you're speaking directly to my feelings. - The feel of her hot breath. - The taste of her lips. - I know it's not pretty like you could write, but it's how I feel...
HotSexyLesbian: Toula.
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