now let's see Sandy really get down and dirty as a Hot Wife. I wish it had been longer, I was waiting for the confrontation, but guess that will have to wait for a later chapter. I liked the way you used mid-40 and wife isn't a raving beauty, as most do. Most all women are beautiful. It's their attitude that builds on any physical beauty. Sad about Hubby's ED problem. That certainly can be dealt with later and is probably why Sandy went looking elsewhere. He needs to learn to make love to his wife, not just fuck her.
Couple of word usage problems (e.g. "Sandy and I were members of the once a week, if that club, and even then, she just didn't really seem to be into it." This just doesn't make sense.) Proof read! Then do it again.
AS I have to say to most I respond to, pay no attention to the Anonymous critics, they are lame.
Please continue this and just ignore the haters. They always go away eventually. lol
by
Anonymous01/27/14
Story?
No story and no background. Better luck next time, if their is a next time.
by
Anonymous01/27/14
UNFINISHED AND ANOTHER WIMPY,CHUCKY STORY
he got a hard on watching his wife fuck another, just sick sick sick.. so how many men want to see there wifes fucked by another.. just these sick authors..
At some point you should give a little more background. Kids, finances, social life, etc. That may be a way to explain Sandy's mindset.
This can go the way of the mediocre "wife fucks random people and cuck jacks off to the thought" or it could be a story worth reading - but that takes some skill and lots of planning. Which way will you go?
Benefit of a doubt to this effort with the hope you have planned a better than mediocre tale. 5*
why would ANYONE think this is off to a good start?
Are you people all morons and mentally deranged midgets? The issue here is not that the wife is cheating so much but that husband has been deceived by the wife's sexual needs. If she has a sexual fantasy or need to have serious fucking in dangerous places where she might be caught she is hidden that desire or need from her husband for years.
Which means that she is intentionally denying him access. She wants to block him out of her sex life and sex drive.
Instead this pathetic pussy faggot man says nothing ...does nothing ..and then has sad ordinary vanilla leave it to beaver 1950s type sex with her??
by
Anonymous01/27/14
The only thing that'd be spurting
...if I found my wife bent over a desk would be their blood.
by
Anonymous01/27/14
Geez. Sloppy seconds?
And THAT turns him on? It would make most men throw up. And any man would want to have her tested for all the wonderful diseases she might have picked up. Did he have a death wish? This is just another cheating slut wife/ cuckold wimp husband story that is littering the Loving Wives section these days. Your particular story added nothing to the mix. Not very well written, nothing clever in the telling, certainly not entertaining and in general, garbage. BARF!
I don't understand it but some men get off on seeing their woman getting screwed by another man. And on top of that they have sex with the female afterwards like its the best piece of ass they ever had. If he had any sense he would start protecting himself. He doesn't know how many other men she has been with unprotected thus risking his own health.
I wonder how long he is going to let his wife cuckold him.
by
Anonymous01/27/14
Good Beginnning
The story has merit for this genre. However, it needed a little polish on the grammar, sentence structure, etc. You might want to get someone to help edit these before submitting. Again, it was a good story but just needed a bit more work.
Ignore the hate mail comments. They should not be reading these stories if that is not their interest.
Finally, I will say that there is nothing more exciting in this world than fucking my wife after another man has had her. Sloppy seconds are far better than being first! Another man's cum is the best lubricant there is for my big cock sliding in her! My hot wife has really spiced up our sex life by having lovers!
"I had always thought that my wife didn't really like sex"
She just doesn't like it with you.
And this story sucks almost as much as you do.
by
Anonymous01/27/14
Piss-poor effort.
Really? Quit submitting, asshole.
by
Anonymous01/28/14
Not as talky as Matt Moreau
but this story suffers from the same problems he has. One of the spouses has an IQ that is nearly immeasurable: .001 maybe) and in this case it is the husband. The other problem is a selfish arrogant wife. You might work on believable characters and plotting with development of the story itself. Or even better, just give this up because MM is at least a better writer.
Fenris17
Cute 'club name' - but easy to read as nonsense.
"... were members of the 'Once A Week (or less) Club' - charter members!"
See the difference? Name of club capitalized and in 'strophs'. Took out comma and following 'if then' and subbed the (or less)* because the parens are clearer!
Not a single person in the story talked TO 'we, readers.' Hubby talked AT us. Narration is MUCH less engaging than dialogue. There was a GREAT (squandered) opportunity for either (or both) Sweetie and Her Bull to engage in some pillow talk about their relationship or about Hubby to set the stage for Ch2-Ch9.
*coulda been (maybe)... but (on a good week) woulda been too long and disruptive!
Wow, lots of good hate. My first fear was that no one would read it, so thanks for at least taking a look. I'll ignore most of the comments, especially ones that missed the point. I will try to take to heart some of the great comments about better plotting, more dialogue, etc. (Wish I read some of these before I submitted chapter 2). To be honest, a lot of this is a story that I've been playing with in my head. So in my head, I know all the background, etc. Need to not take for granted that the reader does too.
Anonymous haters, you get ignored. Haters that left your name, thanks for being willing to put your name on it, I take the criticism more seriously. People with constructive comments, thanks, and keep them coming.
Dumb Asses are crawling on LIT and it shows in the comments.
Nice writing keep it up and as you rightly said ignore the stupid comments.
5*
by
Anonymous01/28/14
sounds like
he needs to catch dear old john out sometime and shove his sorry ass off a steep cliff. when he doesn't show up for a while ask dear old wife what ever happened to dear old john did you fuck him to death I haven't seen him in a while.maybe when he is found they will figure he just fell off the cliff after dark. Then bug her phones and the house and if it ever happens again well we have many types of accidents that can happen to a man when he's out and about from accidently shooting himself cleaning his gun.to choking on a chicken bone. id say by the time 5 or 6 of her group members shes fucking with dies accidental deaths she may start worrying when she will have a tree limb fall on her or some such at that point she may change to women and start bringing them home to hubby hoping that she can appease him before a wild dog kills her
You have picked the toughest catagory for your submissions. On the plus side, you usually get a lot of comments here. Of course most are 'anoms' and offer nothing to help, but a few are worth your time to consider. I've been writing for awhile even though I've only submitted four, so judge my comment accordingly. I agree with those who recommend more plot development and better proofreading. I suggest printing the story then reading it aloud. If you have someone you can trust to read it to you that would be a big help. Personally, I think it takes at least two literotica pages to develop a story properly. Anything over three and you better be good or you'll bore the reader and lose him.
Repeat, don't let the comments get you down. Research LW's comments. You find it filled with comments by those who haven't submitted yet. Nothing wrong with that, you don't have to be an author to be a critic, but it seems that if I say your story is BS I should only do it if I know why I think that. You are not a critic if you don't specify what you don't like.
I have thought of submitting a LW story, however I'm not sure what these readers expect. I think I'm going to read about cheating when I open one of these. We live in a world where many have had loved ones cheating on them and such stories probably hit a nerve, but I'd still like to know what they expect.
by
Anonymous01/28/14
Sort of asking for shit
the is sort of a role reversal story of the mor common story of the husband doing everything for the wife and the wife sexually inept. Here, two people, we don't know their sexual history, but at this point the husband is sexually inept, like totally inept at sex, a real sixty second man, and no surprise a wife who's rarely gotten anything out of him in bed can't be bothered any more. So she went elsewhere fucked a guy in better shape, bigger cock, socally more powerful who gives her orgasms, and hubby sees and gets sexually excited. If there is any redeaming result, we will have go wait for part two.
Yeah it's a cuck story, and it sure does bring out the anger in people. .
Me, I would have made the lover physically more like the wimp so as to show that the difference was how they treated the woman. A bit more nuanced...but what the hell, if you get a hard on watching somebody fuck you wife, and you aren't mad enough to confront your wife...what's the point why should the reader care? Nobody, spouses, readers respect the doormat, and if the reader doesn't care about atleast some of the characters, the story fails.
But he has chosen very unfortunate subject matter...
by
Anonymous01/28/14
whimp
he is a wimp or chuck I would have went down stairs and shouted to every one
that I had seen john and sandy fucking. no shame on me,the cheaters get all
the shame and fame and I would walk out leaving her forever.
by
Anonymous01/29/14
Hooray for moral crusaders!
Thank heaven for the anti-cuckold commenters and their moral crusade! We are all of us indebted to them for the countless hours they spend reading these dirty, naughty cuckold stories that they don't enjoy one bit, just so they can tell us how terrible they are. Thanks, guys! Good use of your time! Keep it up, and you'll get a girlfriend for sure!
Only us cucks understand the erotic nature of your story. I have been to parties where my wife flirted openly and others openly flirted with her. I saw some lingering social kisses and some a bit beyond innocent touching, but nothing like you describe. I imagine if I did, I would cum in my pants. Keep it up! And thanks, Jimmy
by
Anonymous01/31/14
regardless i didnt finish story
anything that glorifies cheaters is worthless. hope she catches a disease and tossed out.
"he is a wimp or chuck " I guess that is some troll speak that only a troll can understand. I bet he wishes he had stayed in school. lol
Your story was well done. Your a cuckold now. My advise to you is to tell your sexy hot wife that you saw her and John. How it turned you on and that you blew a load in your pants. Then when you knew you where getting sloppy seconds, you did not even last your normal minute. LOL Face it cuckold, you never fucked her like John did. You never made her moan and groan like John did with his much larger hunk of meat. Your wife needs and craves real men cuckold. Deal with it. You will enjoy the fresh creampies. Trust me, I have trained a number of cuckolds before.
by
Anonymous01/31/14
re: tantrik721
Your right. Dumb asses are crawling out and you're the first one. I can't belief how many cuckolds there are on this site, wallowing in their own excrement. The worse part is they have to attack others because they just can't stand opposing opinions. They know they are sickos but somehow think by attacking others they will glorify themselves. It's just the opposite. You make yourself appear weak and stupid. Harry said it all. Morons the whole lot of them. 1* for a crappy cuckold theme.
by
Anonymous02/01/14
re: Hooray for moral crusaders!
If that's what I am, it's better than being an asshole who can't stand it when others dare to have a different opinion.
by
Anonymous02/01/14
guess the sick fucker is really queer and like to stick his cock in another man's sperm
of their relationship and marriage is in order ASAP. TK U MLJ LV NV
by
Anonymous04/19/14
Really Hot
Like the writing style. Taut, efficient. A nice compact little story. I do hope you keep writing, especially if it's more of this series.
by
Anonymous07/03/14
ANONS A CUCK IN DISGUISE
Can I just point out to the "anon" who says the only thing spurting would be blood
why do you think we,re fucking behind your back you stupid person we know you,re not ready for your horns ........yet !!!
I have fantasized about catching my wife at a party and know I would probably cum in my pants watching. I have lost my breath just watching my wife dance with another man when she was playing to my cuckold desires. Very hot. Thanks.
English
it said a man
found out, so i read the story and found no man in it, just a fool.
Moderately well written
But the plot is lame. Husband likes to watch? Yawn.
1*
Nothing more needs to be said. Willing cuckolds are not erotic. What a turn off.
Sicko!
I didn't get past the first paragraph...
Anothe cuckold piece of crap, just what we need!
Cheating slut
She is nothing more than a cheating deceitful slut.
Lame
You should put a wimp warning on this shit!
-5 would be a better score
As always...no cucks for me
NO!!!! What we don't beed is your fag annoy. comments
day after day week after week and year after year. And yet you say you don't like these stories. you're such a Dumbass
Good beginning...
now let's see Sandy really get down and dirty as a Hot Wife. I wish it had been longer, I was waiting for the confrontation, but guess that will have to wait for a later chapter. I liked the way you used mid-40 and wife isn't a raving beauty, as most do. Most all women are beautiful. It's their attitude that builds on any physical beauty. Sad about Hubby's ED problem. That certainly can be dealt with later and is probably why Sandy went looking elsewhere. He needs to learn to make love to his wife, not just fuck her.
Couple of word usage problems (e.g. "Sandy and I were members of the once a week, if that club, and even then, she just didn't really seem to be into it." This just doesn't make sense.) Proof read! Then do it again.
AS I have to say to most I respond to, pay no attention to the Anonymous critics, they are lame.
Loved this
Please continue this and just ignore the haters. They always go away eventually. lol
Story?
No story and no background. Better luck next time, if their is a next time.
UNFINISHED AND ANOTHER WIMPY,CHUCKY STORY
he got a hard on watching his wife fuck another, just sick sick sick.. so how many men want to see there wifes fucked by another.. just these sick authors..
Not a bad start.
At some point you should give a little more background. Kids, finances, social life, etc. That may be a way to explain Sandy's mindset.
This can go the way of the mediocre "wife fucks random people and cuck jacks off to the thought" or it could be a story worth reading - but that takes some skill and lots of planning. Which way will you go?
Benefit of a doubt to this effort with the hope you have planned a better than mediocre tale. 5*
why would ANYONE think this is off to a good start?
Are you people all morons and mentally deranged midgets? The issue here is not that the wife is cheating so much but that husband has been deceived by the wife's sexual needs. If she has a sexual fantasy or need to have serious fucking in dangerous places where she might be caught she is hidden that desire or need from her husband for years.
Which means that she is intentionally denying him access. She wants to block him out of her sex life and sex drive.
Instead this pathetic pussy faggot man says nothing ...does nothing ..and then has sad ordinary vanilla leave it to beaver 1950s type sex with her??
The only thing that'd be spurting
...if I found my wife bent over a desk would be their blood.
Geez. Sloppy seconds?
And THAT turns him on? It would make most men throw up. And any man would want to have her tested for all the wonderful diseases she might have picked up. Did he have a death wish? This is just another cheating slut wife/ cuckold wimp husband story that is littering the Loving Wives section these days. Your particular story added nothing to the mix. Not very well written, nothing clever in the telling, certainly not entertaining and in general, garbage. BARF!
Don't bother
Trash not worth the effort
DEGENERATED CUCK CRAP
NO NEED FOR NEXT CHAPTER. QUIT RIGHT HERE.
UNO ESTRELLA FOR VOMIT INDUCE.
I don't understand it but some men get off on seeing their woman getting screwed by another man. And on top of that they have sex with the female afterwards like its the best piece of ass they ever had. If he had any sense he would start protecting himself. He doesn't know how many other men she has been with unprotected thus risking his own health.
I wonder how long he is going to let his wife cuckold him.
Good Beginnning
The story has merit for this genre. However, it needed a little polish on the grammar, sentence structure, etc. You might want to get someone to help edit these before submitting. Again, it was a good story but just needed a bit more work.
Ignore the hate mail comments. They should not be reading these stories if that is not their interest.
Finally, I will say that there is nothing more exciting in this world than fucking my wife after another man has had her. Sloppy seconds are far better than being first! Another man's cum is the best lubricant there is for my big cock sliding in her! My hot wife has really spiced up our sex life by having lovers!
17
I get the 17 in your pen name , it's your IQ.
you were half right
"I had always thought that my wife didn't really like sex"
She just doesn't like it with you.
And this story sucks almost as much as you do.
Piss-poor effort.
Really? Quit submitting, asshole.
Not as talky as Matt Moreau
but this story suffers from the same problems he has. One of the spouses has an IQ that is nearly immeasurable: .001 maybe) and in this case it is the husband. The other problem is a selfish arrogant wife. You might work on believable characters and plotting with development of the story itself. Or even better, just give this up because MM is at least a better writer.
Does he Get a Set?
Most likely, no. He seems already pre-ordained to enjoy being a submissive cuckold. What a life.
looks like another stupid fuckin' wimp husband story. -10 stars
Not sure
Change my mind, seems very weak, will read next installment, up your game please
Weak, but salvageable
Fenris17
Cute 'club name' - but easy to read as nonsense.
"... were members of the 'Once A Week (or less) Club' - charter members!"
See the difference? Name of club capitalized and in 'strophs'. Took out comma and following 'if then' and subbed the (or less)* because the parens are clearer!
Not a single person in the story talked TO 'we, readers.' Hubby talked AT us. Narration is MUCH less engaging than dialogue. There was a GREAT (squandered) opportunity for either (or both) Sweetie and Her Bull to engage in some pillow talk about their relationship or about Hubby to set the stage for Ch2-Ch9.
*coulda been (maybe)... but (on a good week) woulda been too long and disruptive!
3*
Thanks for the comments
Wow, lots of good hate. My first fear was that no one would read it, so thanks for at least taking a look. I'll ignore most of the comments, especially ones that missed the point. I will try to take to heart some of the great comments about better plotting, more dialogue, etc. (Wish I read some of these before I submitted chapter 2). To be honest, a lot of this is a story that I've been playing with in my head. So in my head, I know all the background, etc. Need to not take for granted that the reader does too.
Anonymous haters, you get ignored. Haters that left your name, thanks for being willing to put your name on it, I take the criticism more seriously. People with constructive comments, thanks, and keep them coming.
Good stuff
Dumb Asses are crawling on LIT and it shows in the comments.
Nice writing keep it up and as you rightly said ignore the stupid comments.
5*
sounds like
he needs to catch dear old john out sometime and shove his sorry ass off a steep cliff. when he doesn't show up for a while ask dear old wife what ever happened to dear old john did you fuck him to death I haven't seen him in a while.maybe when he is found they will figure he just fell off the cliff after dark. Then bug her phones and the house and if it ever happens again well we have many types of accidents that can happen to a man when he's out and about from accidently shooting himself cleaning his gun.to choking on a chicken bone. id say by the time 5 or 6 of her group members shes fucking with dies accidental deaths she may start worrying when she will have a tree limb fall on her or some such at that point she may change to women and start bringing them home to hubby hoping that she can appease him before a wild dog kills her
KEEP TRYING
You have picked the toughest catagory for your submissions. On the plus side, you usually get a lot of comments here. Of course most are 'anoms' and offer nothing to help, but a few are worth your time to consider. I've been writing for awhile even though I've only submitted four, so judge my comment accordingly. I agree with those who recommend more plot development and better proofreading. I suggest printing the story then reading it aloud. If you have someone you can trust to read it to you that would be a big help. Personally, I think it takes at least two literotica pages to develop a story properly. Anything over three and you better be good or you'll bore the reader and lose him.
Repeat, don't let the comments get you down. Research LW's comments. You find it filled with comments by those who haven't submitted yet. Nothing wrong with that, you don't have to be an author to be a critic, but it seems that if I say your story is BS I should only do it if I know why I think that. You are not a critic if you don't specify what you don't like.
I have thought of submitting a LW story, however I'm not sure what these readers expect. I think I'm going to read about cheating when I open one of these. We live in a world where many have had loved ones cheating on them and such stories probably hit a nerve, but I'd still like to know what they expect.
Sort of asking for shit
the is sort of a role reversal story of the mor common story of the husband doing everything for the wife and the wife sexually inept. Here, two people, we don't know their sexual history, but at this point the husband is sexually inept, like totally inept at sex, a real sixty second man, and no surprise a wife who's rarely gotten anything out of him in bed can't be bothered any more. So she went elsewhere fucked a guy in better shape, bigger cock, socally more powerful who gives her orgasms, and hubby sees and gets sexually excited. If there is any redeaming result, we will have go wait for part two.
Yeah it's a cuck story, and it sure does bring out the anger in people. .
Me, I would have made the lover physically more like the wimp so as to show that the difference was how they treated the woman. A bit more nuanced...but what the hell, if you get a hard on watching somebody fuck you wife, and you aren't mad enough to confront your wife...what's the point why should the reader care? Nobody, spouses, readers respect the doormat, and if the reader doesn't care about atleast some of the characters, the story fails.
IF this was like real life
The truth is that the wife doesn't like sex WITH HER HUSBAND. The other guy has totally taken her away from the hubby.
Have to recognize that the author write well.
But he has chosen very unfortunate subject matter...
whimp
he is a wimp or chuck I would have went down stairs and shouted to every one
that I had seen john and sandy fucking. no shame on me,the cheaters get all
the shame and fame and I would walk out leaving her forever.
Hooray for moral crusaders!
Thank heaven for the anti-cuckold commenters and their moral crusade! We are all of us indebted to them for the countless hours they spend reading these dirty, naughty cuckold stories that they don't enjoy one bit, just so they can tell us how terrible they are. Thanks, guys! Good use of your time! Keep it up, and you'll get a girlfriend for sure!
Thank You
Only us cucks understand the erotic nature of your story. I have been to parties where my wife flirted openly and others openly flirted with her. I saw some lingering social kisses and some a bit beyond innocent touching, but nothing like you describe. I imagine if I did, I would cum in my pants. Keep it up! And thanks, Jimmy
regardless i didnt finish story
anything that glorifies cheaters is worthless. hope she catches a disease and tossed out.
LOL, cuckold
"he is a wimp or chuck " I guess that is some troll speak that only a troll can understand. I bet he wishes he had stayed in school. lol
Your story was well done. Your a cuckold now. My advise to you is to tell your sexy hot wife that you saw her and John. How it turned you on and that you blew a load in your pants. Then when you knew you where getting sloppy seconds, you did not even last your normal minute. LOL Face it cuckold, you never fucked her like John did. You never made her moan and groan like John did with his much larger hunk of meat. Your wife needs and craves real men cuckold. Deal with it. You will enjoy the fresh creampies. Trust me, I have trained a number of cuckolds before.
re: tantrik721
Your right. Dumb asses are crawling out and you're the first one. I can't belief how many cuckolds there are on this site, wallowing in their own excrement. The worse part is they have to attack others because they just can't stand opposing opinions. They know they are sickos but somehow think by attacking others they will glorify themselves. It's just the opposite. You make yourself appear weak and stupid. Harry said it all. Morons the whole lot of them. 1* for a crappy cuckold theme.
re: Hooray for moral crusaders!
If that's what I am, it's better than being an asshole who can't stand it when others dare to have a different opinion.
guess the sick fucker is really queer and like to stick his cock in another man's sperm
I THINK A RE-EVALUATION
of their relationship and marriage is in order ASAP. TK U MLJ LV NV
Really Hot
Like the writing style. Taut, efficient. A nice compact little story. I do hope you keep writing, especially if it's more of this series.
ANONS A CUCK IN DISGUISE
Can I just point out to the "anon" who says the only thing spurting would be blood
why do you think we,re fucking behind your back you stupid person we know you,re not ready for your horns ........yet !!!
Fantasy
I have fantasized about catching my wife at a party and know I would probably cum in my pants watching. I have lost my breath just watching my wife dance with another man when she was playing to my cuckold desires. Very hot. Thanks.
@CuckieJimmy..
...Jimmy...I doubt you would come in your pants - - people as you are usually wear a dress...
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