In much the same way Ashley is addicted to Jackson. Addictions don't always end well. 4*
by
Anonymous01/13/14
Not really my kind of story
But it is very well written. The characters are credible, they act in a way that fits their personalities and the emotions generated by an affair of this type are depicted expertly with a keen sense of human behavior. Top marks.
Right now, the best thing that can be said, as hope for Ashley's redemption is that she is top 1% of least skillful cheaters ever, in terms of subtlety. She can cheat but she can't lie ( effectively ). Don't know where these characters go from here or if the story even continues.
Ashley has a lot of self discovery, in terms of finding out how she's come to her current sorry state of contrempts. We, readers, may have gotten the best and worst of her character that there is to know. Should someone put Humpty Ashley back together again? Only heaven & the GirlintheMoon knows. *****
5 stars, This how what really happens when a cheater is really exposed. Tired of these authors that make a wimp out of husbands. Excellent story can't wait for Chapter 3
by
Anonymous01/13/14
TOO SHORT OF STORY!!!!
Waiting for your next Chapter? Plese write about REVENGE against Jackoson,from Husband to the Neibors? Making Jackson pay for his Crime against the Neborhood??
waitiong
by
Anonymous01/13/14
you are Just Plain Wicked
I hate reading your stories
You have no backbone to finish your stories. Remember WICKED? You wasted our time, you did not have the balls to finish your story.
by
Anonymous01/13/14
No worries about where she will end up. The cheating bitch will simply walk next door and slide back onto Jackson's cock.
GirlintheMoon is an excellent writer. I just hope this does not degrade into something farcical.
This is an excellent story, I just hope when all is written, and I fo hope she finishes it, that the proper people are put in their place.
Thank goodness for Cathy. I hope Will comes out ahead. Cathy and Jackson...doomed from the beginning, and doomed forever. May guilt consume her.
by
Anonymous01/13/14
Oh come on....
This is almost the same story that you have told before...
Let me guess - somehow she gets Will to agree to see a counselor,but she can't stay away from Jackson. So she ends up divorced,and then things don't work out with the idiot next door either.
Or,instead of going to a hotel for the night, she goes to the bad boy,which is the last place she should be.
I'm withholding my vote until I see if I'm right. 4-5 stars if I'm not. 1 if I am.
there is justice in the world. Riveting! I love the turn at the end. More...
by
Anonymous01/13/14
Grow up girl
You deleted your old stories and said that you have changed. Same old story. Weak wife can't resist the bad boy and in her "guilt" can't even treat her husband to any sex. Oh and the bad boy is sensitive around the slut wife after he is done forcing her to have the best sex in her life. Did you and MM go to the same writing school?
This is fantastic writing, with a genuine interest in understanding each character's thought processes and motivations. Pay no mind to the whiny children…they are less interested in whether a story is well written than they are in whether or not it feeds their messiah complex-cum-hero fantasy. They'd probably rather read an underwritten bullet point outline of a story idea where the first bullet point is that the wife cheats and the entire rest of the list is just a bunch of things that happen to her than they would read a story that does something different but does it in an exceptional way.
I'm sure they'd rather read Marvel comics then Crime and Punishment, too.
by
Anonymous01/13/14
Regardless if this is a repeat or not, I really enjoyed it.
Because it is something that so many couples have gone through. No elaborate revenge fantasies, no fantastic setups, just people in painful situations doing the best they could!
Well done!
by
Anonymous01/13/14
Morality Clause
I get a laugh out of the comments written as if have some sort of morality clause in them. People get ticked off when the wife cheats and vote low, they get ticked it off if the man is a willing cuckold and vote low; but they keep coming back even if they know the author's style because they are in it for the stroke stories or for the titillating effects that they feel. Their votes are judged on the wife's cheating and whether the husband dispatched her fast enough or cruelly enough. Heaven help us if there should be a reconciliation even for the children's sake. And the biggest fraud is that these commentators claim to have some superior knowledge of being able to judge good writing ability while they have none. They are just a bunch of masturbators who can bully people without anyone knowing who they are even if they are registered members on this site.
I would like to thank the author for her efforts and entertaining us. She and the rest of the writers and commentators need to stand up to the bullies who dominate this site with their hurtful comments.
If you don't like how the story goes, then don't vote and move elsewhere to a burn the bitch one that you can sadistically enjoy. For god sakes, show some class.
Well written. Waiting for what she will do next as her life spirals out of control. Amazing how people make choices that make them feel out of control. They were the ones that made the choices.
A wronged husband that doesn't go sneaking around trying to get evidence. A MAN who confronts things head on and isn't afraid to talk with his fists...yeah! Great Job.I always love your work. I just wish you didn't take so long between chapters, but you...I'll wait.
So far your new story is just like the one you took down, which is not necessarily bad. A girl who likes bad boys, can't control herself and dumps on the good ones. I like it though and will continue reading. Why did you take down the original?
Nice to have a story wheever, for me at leasre the husband is not a wimp......plus where there are consequences for cheating by either spouse....Normally I hope that there might be a chance for forgiveness and reconciliation, but in this case I don't see that....she chose Jackson every time instead of her marriage and will with some stupid excuses that they weren't communicating. Wouldn't mind a follow up just to see how it all worked out.
I have to tell you that the job you did in describing this situation was wonderful. Life can be so unpredictable and people's reactions can be the same. For me the more realism involved in the story arc the more captivating the story is. This story is one of the best pieces of writing on this site. Thank you so much for sharing and I am looking forward to the next installment.
Good depiction of a marriage gone sour because of the pathetic weakness of one party because they had 2 days alone or life isnt as exciting as dating is... All the "wonder of me" with a new partner. Would sure like to see followup of how life with bikerboy turns to shit etc, forbidden sex doesnt equate to a loving relationship. Much preferred the husband you created as opposed to that spineless guppy in that multiple chapter story you have unposted.... Well written but both hubby and cheating wife were pretty far adrift from normal to like either of them. Thanks for writing.
This is up to the author, but in my opinion this story is far from over. There is more between Jackson and Ashley than a one time fling, there's a very strong, unhealthy connection. After the strong, exciting sexual experience of the illicit bad boy, it's hard to imagine her ever being satisfied with 'boring' married sex. Her marriage is shot. Will was very decisive in his behavior, he won't tolerate it. The second chapter left enough unanswered for at least a couple more chapters. There's quite a lot involved with Cathy. She clearly can't tolerate what Ashley was doing. Jackson is a predator, there will be no future with him, but Ashley has entered sluthood. there's more assholes out there to satisfy her. We don't know where Ashley ran off to when she was told to leave, we don't know what happened to Will after the fight. He may still be in the hospital, he may be in jail, He may have even been arrested for outstanding warrants, he may be living in his mother's house against her knowledge or consent. Don't know if this marriage can ever be put back together, but at any rate, Will is clearly not a cuckhold- and never will be. He may get shafted in a divorce, the story doesn't tell us that she's an accountant. She could be a low level bean counter in an accounting firm. Ashley's sexual excitement with Jackson is like a death blow to a marriage. Even if Jackson is carted off to jail, or forced to move away, she can't be satisfied with Will. If ever, it would take years of intense psychotherapy. So, GirlintheMoon, you have definitely laid some very nice groundwork for some future chapters. Personally, the first chapter didn't interest me very much, but this one was really interesting. BTW, not everyone who rides a motorcycle is a one percenter. Some of us are pretty decent people. Thanks, GirlsintheMoon, looking forward to the next chapters, and 5* for this one.
by
Anonymous01/13/14
MORE
I agree with svg1 it needs to be finished not left hanging
A couple falls in love, marries, has children, their sex life decreases in frequency but maintains in satisfaction and love. Children are raised competently in stability, and they turn out well! Great ... but NO-fucking-ONE will read it, even for FREE!
The guide to whether a tale is well-told is NOT that the ending is what you would want for yourself! It is, rather, whether the reader wants to scream at a character for fucking-up, and to cheer when that character gets it right!
This IS a fine account of a wife who had gotten complacent AND was not adequately adjusted to the life she had chosen! Regardless of the choices she makes regarding Hubby and Bull, this is WELL-done fiction! The seduction was just what would be expected from a Bad Boy Biker ... persistent neglect. It worked exquisitely, and continued to work despite Sweetie's acute awareness of what she NEEDED to do!
From this POV, the husband will not hope any considerat marriage after any reconciliation. The reader could see this well from the wife's POV. The excellent example, when the divorce is the best solution. GITM is not a Revenge Story Author, so we can hope a Consequence story from her..........maximum, but from Will's character is not cuck material for our luck (for NOT cuck story supporters). He is a sexual majority husband.
A sad tale of communication break down in a marriage. Solace is not in the arms of other person.
Wife has royally mess her marriage up !
If there is a ch.3 then the hard road to reconciliation is a different one to write.
Good luck I am looking to it.
This is not a tale of communication breakdown she is a sick whore
GIM writes tales to make men fear that their loving wife will suddenly, without warning, throw her panties at the first bad boy they see. In the infantile "Finding Normal" deleted by the author the slut wife at least had a school girl crush on a classmate that she obsessed over. This slut Ashley fucks her bad boy neighbor at the first opportunity and lies in every conversation with her husband. Her husband notices her discomfort, tries to talk to her but she refuses to talk. GIM starts the story by claiming Ashley feels like she isn't getting enough sex from her husband. Husband comes home from a weekend away for work and wants sex and she doesn't want to. Even the most selfish slut who just got through being the married girlfriend to biker boy in public would have tried to give the poor husband makeup sex. Not in GIM's world. Then the stupid slut when confronted by her co-worker, lies about getting therapy and leaving biker boy alone.
Instead, she sneaks off and has public sex with biker boy and forgets about her husband for hours after dinner when she says she has to go to the drug store. Husband offers to go with her-this is not a communication problem. Then the slut calls in sick so she can watch old movies and take a bubble bath with biker boy. She is seen by a neighbor running to his house as soon as husband leaves for work! Why didn't GIM just have her fuck him on the motorcycle in the front yard? Will has kicked her to the curb, she should just go over to biker boy and fuck him and his buddies. Will will recover and eventually thank his stars that he didn't have children with the stupid bitch. This is not a good story. This is on the level of the nasty cuckold stories that are written to provoke feedback. GIM got me again.
GIM is a good writer. I wish she could write about healthy people.
as to how I feel about this story.....except that Girl In The Moon has written an extraordinarily wonderful tale....beautifully composed....every scene rings true, every occurrence believable and every word of dialogue real. I want to hope Ashley can somehow right her (the marriage's) sinking ship, Will help save his wife, Jackson receive his comeuppance. I am not even sure I want to know how this will all resolve itself. Girl In The Moon: whatever you do, continue, just end here, whatever, this reader thanks you for a more than splendid read...5--but that isn't enough.
one more ch with cath & will's pov. And perhaps what life would be like with ash & jackson livin next door to will.
by
Anonymous01/14/14
Too bad its not legal to kill some people. Will should have given dick breath two rounds of )) buck shot in the gut, and skanky Ashly one round in each knee
to cripple the bitch for life
You did a fine job here. You've drawn the reader into this girl's mind. She's helpless, stupid, unmoral, spineless, juvenile and immature and so much more, but mostly vulnerable. She's vulnerable to her friend, to her boss, to Jackson, to Will, and to her own lack of moral compass.
I love this story. Not because of the content of a cheating wife, but because of what you've done with your reader.
Whichever way you take this from here, you will fulfill your own rights as the author to destroy her, or any of the characters, but you will move your readers to think long and hard about all the characters, all the emotions and all the possibilities.
This is first class. 5*
Best regards,
-Pultoy
by
Anonymous01/14/14
Remember
Ashley does not respect Will and she does not because he loves her which she is confused about given how she sees herself. She understands lust and that's why Jackson appeals to her; he simply lusts for her, not loves her. Jackson never felt love from his mother so he does not relate to women that way. Jackson does not respect Will and resents that he is not the kind of man that engenders from women like his mother...the way Will does.Ashley is his effort to prove that he is loveable and desirable by someone other than bargirls. Ashley is simply confident because she is damaged...and next door.
At least the husband didn't turn out to be a spineless wimp or accepting cuckold. Thank you for that.
by
Anonymous01/15/14
Good story.........
needs a ch 3.
by
Anonymous01/15/14
Good Read
Just need to finish it off now
by
Anonymous01/22/14
The story is hollow, empty of moral.
This story has no moral. The wife has a pre-condition of impulsive and childish behaviour revealed by her history of hanging out with bad crowds. Coupled with her nymphomania, her eventual cheating is a certainty. Her getting caught is also a certainty because of her recklessness. She was a slave to her sexual urges and impulsiveness, and was doomed from the start with no chance of breaking free. Predictably, the story ends with an anti-climax. There is no point, no moral, no blame to condemn the wife because she was a victim of her conditions. The only point that would make sense is that the story was written to appease the mindless BTB lynch mob. It's like saying here is the witch, burn her. 1 Stat.
by
Anonymous01/22/14
Wow
This story is so painful but good lord, you can write. So glad to see your work here again.
by
Anonymous01/25/14
finish it
he still lives next door, finish him off. some say this is a BTB tale. she
was a cheating slut he got rid of the trash. no revenge. tell everyone on the
street what he is, make his life hell. liked your tale. simple cheating slut tale
he put out with the garbage. no one died.
Never change! You provide such ample amusement. I hope you enjoy the next chapter when it clears in a few days. I'm sure you'll give me another laugh then. Have a nice week!
by
Anonymous02/10/14
it's telling, that angiquesophie is one of your favorite authors
Both of you write really, really well. Both of you have the ability to flesh out your characters, and make a story that is just not a straight-out-formula.
However, I will never read one of AS's stories again.
She is like a prodigious mechanic who can do anything with a car, but whose sole intention and motivation is to destroy it... turn it into a big block of crushed scrap metal... all because that is her whim. She is like a succubus, a harpie... a siren who wants her victims to smash against the rocks and destroy themselves as she smiles. She is like A.Jolie, a woman who is regarded as attractive, smouldering and sexy, but one that I would not spit on if she were on fire. There is just so much not to trust, you know her appearance is like a scab hiding the festering poison underneath.
Your stories are far better than hers. At least you did not have your character in denial.
The beginning of the tale had all the basic ingredients... Will WAS partially responsible for allowing the atmosphere that would foster her betrayal, but an honorable person would not have succumbed to seduction just for those reasons alone. They are all just part of the excuses.
So at least, your character owned the devastation that she had created. At least, she knew that regardless of contributing factors, the act of betrayal was laying at her feet. She knew it, and knows that that is how everybody else will see it.
So, GirlInTheMoon, thank you for your contribution, even if I think it finished without the satisfaction of retribution (I am, after all, one of the BTB crowd).
I think you are a good writer. No, a very good writer. I wish you luck turning your other short story into a screenplay.
Stay with us in the land of the living, though, please? Don't become another AS.
Almost like watching someone spiral down into addiction. My hat is off to the author for her ability to make the story so sad and painful. Excellent writing.
When you paint a picture, a story painted in word-strokes instead of brush strokes, you REALLY make a masterpiece. It's so realistic I can feel the blood pulsing through their veins. It takes my breath away. I'm at a loss for words, here.
English
Sad but addictive.
In much the same way Ashley is addicted to Jackson. Addictions don't always end well. 4*
Not really my kind of story
But it is very well written. The characters are credible, they act in a way that fits their personalities and the emotions generated by an affair of this type are depicted expertly with a keen sense of human behavior. Top marks.
Cut 2 the Quick & Cucked' to the Curb !
Right now, the best thing that can be said, as hope for Ashley's redemption is that she is top 1% of least skillful cheaters ever, in terms of subtlety. She can cheat but she can't lie ( effectively ). Don't know where these characters go from here or if the story even continues.
Ashley has a lot of self discovery, in terms of finding out how she's come to her current sorry state of contrempts. We, readers, may have gotten the best and worst of her character that there is to know. Should someone put Humpty Ashley back together again? Only heaven & the GirlintheMoon knows. *****
Excellent story
5 stars, This how what really happens when a cheater is really exposed. Tired of these authors that make a wimp out of husbands. Excellent story can't wait for Chapter 3
TOO SHORT OF STORY!!!!
Waiting for your next Chapter? Plese write about REVENGE against Jackoson,from Husband to the Neibors? Making Jackson pay for his Crime against the Neborhood??
waitiong
you are Just Plain Wicked
I hate reading your stories
You have no backbone to finish your stories. Remember WICKED? You wasted our time, you did not have the balls to finish your story.
No worries about where she will end up. The cheating bitch will simply walk next door and slide back onto Jackson's cock.
GirlintheMoon is an excellent writer. I just hope this does not degrade into something farcical.
This is an excellent story, I just hope when all is written, and I fo hope she finishes it, that the proper people are put in their place.
Thank goodness for Cathy. I hope Will comes out ahead. Cathy and Jackson...doomed from the beginning, and doomed forever. May guilt consume her.
Oh come on....
This is almost the same story that you have told before...
Let me guess - somehow she gets Will to agree to see a counselor,but she can't stay away from Jackson. So she ends up divorced,and then things don't work out with the idiot next door either.
Or,instead of going to a hotel for the night, she goes to the bad boy,which is the last place she should be.
I'm withholding my vote until I see if I'm right. 4-5 stars if I'm not. 1 if I am.
Top notch story
there is justice in the world. Riveting! I love the turn at the end. More...
Grow up girl
You deleted your old stories and said that you have changed. Same old story. Weak wife can't resist the bad boy and in her "guilt" can't even treat her husband to any sex. Oh and the bad boy is sensitive around the slut wife after he is done forcing her to have the best sex in her life. Did you and MM go to the same writing school?
Nice
This is fantastic writing, with a genuine interest in understanding each character's thought processes and motivations. Pay no mind to the whiny children…they are less interested in whether a story is well written than they are in whether or not it feeds their messiah complex-cum-hero fantasy. They'd probably rather read an underwritten bullet point outline of a story idea where the first bullet point is that the wife cheats and the entire rest of the list is just a bunch of things that happen to her than they would read a story that does something different but does it in an exceptional way.
I'm sure they'd rather read Marvel comics then Crime and Punishment, too.
Regardless if this is a repeat or not, I really enjoyed it.
Because it is something that so many couples have gone through. No elaborate revenge fantasies, no fantastic setups, just people in painful situations doing the best they could!
Well done!
Morality Clause
I get a laugh out of the comments written as if have some sort of morality clause in them. People get ticked off when the wife cheats and vote low, they get ticked it off if the man is a willing cuckold and vote low; but they keep coming back even if they know the author's style because they are in it for the stroke stories or for the titillating effects that they feel. Their votes are judged on the wife's cheating and whether the husband dispatched her fast enough or cruelly enough. Heaven help us if there should be a reconciliation even for the children's sake. And the biggest fraud is that these commentators claim to have some superior knowledge of being able to judge good writing ability while they have none. They are just a bunch of masturbators who can bully people without anyone knowing who they are even if they are registered members on this site.
I would like to thank the author for her efforts and entertaining us. She and the rest of the writers and commentators need to stand up to the bullies who dominate this site with their hurtful comments.
If you don't like how the story goes, then don't vote and move elsewhere to a burn the bitch one that you can sadistically enjoy. For god sakes, show some class.
Next?
Well written. Waiting for what she will do next as her life spirals out of control. Amazing how people make choices that make them feel out of control. They were the ones that made the choices.
Good story!!
Congratulations!
Finally...
A wronged husband that doesn't go sneaking around trying to get evidence. A MAN who confronts things head on and isn't afraid to talk with his fists...yeah! Great Job.I always love your work. I just wish you didn't take so long between chapters, but you...I'll wait.
and
don't come back here no more no more
Same
Moongirl
So far your new story is just like the one you took down, which is not necessarily bad. A girl who likes bad boys, can't control herself and dumps on the good ones. I like it though and will continue reading. Why did you take down the original?
Not a Wimp
Nice to have a story wheever, for me at leasre the husband is not a wimp......plus where there are consequences for cheating by either spouse....Normally I hope that there might be a chance for forgiveness and reconciliation, but in this case I don't see that....she chose Jackson every time instead of her marriage and will with some stupid excuses that they weren't communicating. Wouldn't mind a follow up just to see how it all worked out.
Great Read
I have to tell you that the job you did in describing this situation was wonderful. Life can be so unpredictable and people's reactions can be the same. For me the more realism involved in the story arc the more captivating the story is. This story is one of the best pieces of writing on this site. Thank you so much for sharing and I am looking forward to the next installment.
Good
Good depiction of a marriage gone sour because of the pathetic weakness of one party because they had 2 days alone or life isnt as exciting as dating is... All the "wonder of me" with a new partner. Would sure like to see followup of how life with bikerboy turns to shit etc, forbidden sex doesnt equate to a loving relationship. Much preferred the husband you created as opposed to that spineless guppy in that multiple chapter story you have unposted.... Well written but both hubby and cheating wife were pretty far adrift from normal to like either of them. Thanks for writing.
More chapters
This is up to the author, but in my opinion this story is far from over. There is more between Jackson and Ashley than a one time fling, there's a very strong, unhealthy connection. After the strong, exciting sexual experience of the illicit bad boy, it's hard to imagine her ever being satisfied with 'boring' married sex. Her marriage is shot. Will was very decisive in his behavior, he won't tolerate it. The second chapter left enough unanswered for at least a couple more chapters. There's quite a lot involved with Cathy. She clearly can't tolerate what Ashley was doing. Jackson is a predator, there will be no future with him, but Ashley has entered sluthood. there's more assholes out there to satisfy her. We don't know where Ashley ran off to when she was told to leave, we don't know what happened to Will after the fight. He may still be in the hospital, he may be in jail, He may have even been arrested for outstanding warrants, he may be living in his mother's house against her knowledge or consent. Don't know if this marriage can ever be put back together, but at any rate, Will is clearly not a cuckhold- and never will be. He may get shafted in a divorce, the story doesn't tell us that she's an accountant. She could be a low level bean counter in an accounting firm. Ashley's sexual excitement with Jackson is like a death blow to a marriage. Even if Jackson is carted off to jail, or forced to move away, she can't be satisfied with Will. If ever, it would take years of intense psychotherapy. So, GirlintheMoon, you have definitely laid some very nice groundwork for some future chapters. Personally, the first chapter didn't interest me very much, but this one was really interesting. BTW, not everyone who rides a motorcycle is a one percenter. Some of us are pretty decent people. Thanks, GirlsintheMoon, looking forward to the next chapters, and 5* for this one.
MORE
I agree with svg1 it needs to be finished not left hanging
Wonderful Story
A couple falls in love, marries, has children, their sex life decreases in frequency but maintains in satisfaction and love. Children are raised competently in stability, and they turn out well! Great ... but NO-fucking-ONE will read it, even for FREE!
The guide to whether a tale is well-told is NOT that the ending is what you would want for yourself! It is, rather, whether the reader wants to scream at a character for fucking-up, and to cheer when that character gets it right!
This IS a fine account of a wife who had gotten complacent AND was not adequately adjusted to the life she had chosen! Regardless of the choices she makes regarding Hubby and Bull, this is WELL-done fiction! The seduction was just what would be expected from a Bad Boy Biker ... persistent neglect. It worked exquisitely, and continued to work despite Sweetie's acute awareness of what she NEEDED to do!
5*
5*****
Good story. Next sequel? Girlinthemoon has good style, which I could apreciate, as a foreigner. I am curiouse for the future.of this pair.
My hope
From this POV, the husband will not hope any considerat marriage after any reconciliation. The reader could see this well from the wife's POV. The excellent example, when the divorce is the best solution. GITM is not a Revenge Story Author, so we can hope a Consequence story from her..........maximum, but from Will's character is not cuck material for our luck (for NOT cuck story supporters). He is a sexual majority husband.
Wow!
Very well written, Main character is protrayed in extremely vivid detail -both thoughts and actions.
Classic devil on one shoulder, angel on the other shoulder story.
Thanks for posting
Well Written Self Destruct Story
A sad tale of communication break down in a marriage. Solace is not in the arms of other person.
Wife has royally mess her marriage up !
If there is a ch.3 then the hard road to reconciliation is a different one to write.
Good luck I am looking to it.
This is not a tale of communication breakdown she is a sick whore
GIM writes tales to make men fear that their loving wife will suddenly, without warning, throw her panties at the first bad boy they see. In the infantile "Finding Normal" deleted by the author the slut wife at least had a school girl crush on a classmate that she obsessed over. This slut Ashley fucks her bad boy neighbor at the first opportunity and lies in every conversation with her husband. Her husband notices her discomfort, tries to talk to her but she refuses to talk. GIM starts the story by claiming Ashley feels like she isn't getting enough sex from her husband. Husband comes home from a weekend away for work and wants sex and she doesn't want to. Even the most selfish slut who just got through being the married girlfriend to biker boy in public would have tried to give the poor husband makeup sex. Not in GIM's world. Then the stupid slut when confronted by her co-worker, lies about getting therapy and leaving biker boy alone.
Instead, she sneaks off and has public sex with biker boy and forgets about her husband for hours after dinner when she says she has to go to the drug store. Husband offers to go with her-this is not a communication problem. Then the slut calls in sick so she can watch old movies and take a bubble bath with biker boy. She is seen by a neighbor running to his house as soon as husband leaves for work! Why didn't GIM just have her fuck him on the motorcycle in the front yard? Will has kicked her to the curb, she should just go over to biker boy and fuck him and his buddies. Will will recover and eventually thank his stars that he didn't have children with the stupid bitch. This is not a good story. This is on the level of the nasty cuckold stories that are written to provoke feedback. GIM got me again.
GIM is a good writer. I wish she could write about healthy people.
Good story
Excellent telling and all perfectly believable.
Oh My, I have no clue
as to how I feel about this story.....except that Girl In The Moon has written an extraordinarily wonderful tale....beautifully composed....every scene rings true, every occurrence believable and every word of dialogue real. I want to hope Ashley can somehow right her (the marriage's) sinking ship, Will help save his wife, Jackson receive his comeuppance. I am not even sure I want to know how this will all resolve itself. Girl In The Moon: whatever you do, continue, just end here, whatever, this reader thanks you for a more than splendid read...5--but that isn't enough.
well done
one more ch with cath & will's pov. And perhaps what life would be like with ash & jackson livin next door to will.
Too bad its not legal to kill some people. Will should have given dick breath two rounds of )) buck shot in the gut, and skanky Ashly one round in each knee
to cripple the bitch for life
Excellent
You did a fine job here. You've drawn the reader into this girl's mind. She's helpless, stupid, unmoral, spineless, juvenile and immature and so much more, but mostly vulnerable. She's vulnerable to her friend, to her boss, to Jackson, to Will, and to her own lack of moral compass.
I love this story. Not because of the content of a cheating wife, but because of what you've done with your reader.
Whichever way you take this from here, you will fulfill your own rights as the author to destroy her, or any of the characters, but you will move your readers to think long and hard about all the characters, all the emotions and all the possibilities.
This is first class. 5*
Best regards,
-Pultoy
Remember
Ashley does not respect Will and she does not because he loves her which she is confused about given how she sees herself. She understands lust and that's why Jackson appeals to her; he simply lusts for her, not loves her. Jackson never felt love from his mother so he does not relate to women that way. Jackson does not respect Will and resents that he is not the kind of man that engenders from women like his mother...the way Will does.Ashley is his effort to prove that he is loveable and desirable by someone other than bargirls. Ashley is simply confident because she is damaged...and next door.
write faster
that is all
Pretty good
At least the husband didn't turn out to be a spineless wimp or accepting cuckold. Thank you for that.
Good story.........
needs a ch 3.
Good Read
Just need to finish it off now
The story is hollow, empty of moral.
This story has no moral. The wife has a pre-condition of impulsive and childish behaviour revealed by her history of hanging out with bad crowds. Coupled with her nymphomania, her eventual cheating is a certainty. Her getting caught is also a certainty because of her recklessness. She was a slave to her sexual urges and impulsiveness, and was doomed from the start with no chance of breaking free. Predictably, the story ends with an anti-climax. There is no point, no moral, no blame to condemn the wife because she was a victim of her conditions. The only point that would make sense is that the story was written to appease the mindless BTB lynch mob. It's like saying here is the witch, burn her. 1 Stat.
Wow
This story is so painful but good lord, you can write. So glad to see your work here again.
finish it
he still lives next door, finish him off. some say this is a BTB tale. she
was a cheating slut he got rid of the trash. no revenge. tell everyone on the
street what he is, make his life hell. liked your tale. simple cheating slut tale
he put out with the garbage. no one died.
Enjoyed this story, and
Happy to NOT see another wimpy husband story!
Would really like to read more chapters, at least 1 more!
GIM back into rehab?
How long till this story is deleted? Paint yourself into another corner? Hope you are getting therapy.
lol, reasonableman
Never change! You provide such ample amusement. I hope you enjoy the next chapter when it clears in a few days. I'm sure you'll give me another laugh then. Have a nice week!
it's telling, that angiquesophie is one of your favorite authors
Both of you write really, really well. Both of you have the ability to flesh out your characters, and make a story that is just not a straight-out-formula.
However, I will never read one of AS's stories again.
She is like a prodigious mechanic who can do anything with a car, but whose sole intention and motivation is to destroy it... turn it into a big block of crushed scrap metal... all because that is her whim. She is like a succubus, a harpie... a siren who wants her victims to smash against the rocks and destroy themselves as she smiles. She is like A.Jolie, a woman who is regarded as attractive, smouldering and sexy, but one that I would not spit on if she were on fire. There is just so much not to trust, you know her appearance is like a scab hiding the festering poison underneath.
Your stories are far better than hers. At least you did not have your character in denial.
The beginning of the tale had all the basic ingredients... Will WAS partially responsible for allowing the atmosphere that would foster her betrayal, but an honorable person would not have succumbed to seduction just for those reasons alone. They are all just part of the excuses.
So at least, your character owned the devastation that she had created. At least, she knew that regardless of contributing factors, the act of betrayal was laying at her feet. She knew it, and knows that that is how everybody else will see it.
So, GirlInTheMoon, thank you for your contribution, even if I think it finished without the satisfaction of retribution (I am, after all, one of the BTB crowd).
I think you are a good writer. No, a very good writer. I wish you luck turning your other short story into a screenplay.
Stay with us in the land of the living, though, please? Don't become another AS.
Regards,
Max
Kill the bad boy
Period !
time for the biker to die
run his bike off the road and back up over him.
powerful and disturbing
Almost like watching someone spiral down into addiction. My hat is off to the author for her ability to make the story so sad and painful. Excellent writing.
Thanks, ohio
Holy crap!
When you paint a picture, a story painted in word-strokes instead of brush strokes, you REALLY make a masterpiece. It's so realistic I can feel the blood pulsing through their veins. It takes my breath away. I'm at a loss for words, here.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Man Next Door Ch. 02 or
More submissions by GirlintheMoon.