too many pseudo sound effects.... Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack. ZAP zap ZAP zap ZAP zap ZAP zap Thats no way to write a story or allow the reader to understand, maybe you should try writing a comic book..
In contrast to the previous post, sometimes the written sound effects do have a place in a story. I can name a few excellent stories to back this up. Please keep writing this tale. I am sure that many of us would love to see where it all leads to.
English
poorly written
too many pseudo sound effects.... Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack. ZAP zap ZAP zap ZAP zap ZAP zap Thats no way to write a story or allow the reader to understand, maybe you should try writing a comic book..
I like it.
In contrast to the previous post, sometimes the written sound effects do have a place in a story. I can name a few excellent stories to back this up. Please keep writing this tale. I am sure that many of us would love to see where it all leads to.
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