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English
what to say?
except I chuckled and added this to my favorites. nice work!
Another good one
It is nice to see a poem that does not immediately fall within the main cycle (but wife's recent lover?).
In any event you have us itching to know more. That itch means that it is a successful poem.
Nice structuring too.
Keep 'em coming.
Nice, but...
I like the first stanza and the conclusion. You set the scene to deliver a strong message through subtle words. However, in my humble opinion, it feels like you changed your mind halfway through. The second and third stanzas feel disconnected from the beginning (and also, from the end). For example:
"He thought he could displace me"
Who thought that, the pond? When I reach that point in your poem, I know very little about what is happening. First you described a pond, and the qualities of it (reflects the stars, looks deeper in the dark). I half-expected you to continue the metaphor and link the person to the pond, to complete my understanding of this "pond-person". However, I only really connected the pond with what you were saying in s2 and s3 when I reached the last line ("I drained the pond").
The poem *works* as-is, but I would have enjoyed it far more with a bit more work on telling a complete story using the imagery you set out with (the pond).
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