Been reading these stories for over 6 years. First time I had to write on how hard and hot it made me feel. Time will tell how it all plays out. I would enjoy it as long as possible. Hope there is a part 2.
There was not a word of dialog in the entire story. It was told solely in the voice of the father. That left a lot of rich material unmined. For example, instead of telling us how the kids reacted to the suggestion of family nudity, why not give us a peek into the actual seen and provide the dialog? Were the kids shocked, thrilled, excited? Show us! Tell us what they said, in their words, and describe their physical reactions. Wide eyed, tense? By using dialog you bring the characters to life in their own voices and still maintain the structural integrity of using a narrator-participant to tell the story. It's an interesting premise for a story. I look forward to future efforts by this writer. But I'd like to see a little more effort put into bringing all the characters to life.
English
time will tell
Been reading these stories for over 6 years. First time I had to write on how hard and hot it made me feel. Time will tell how it all plays out. I would enjoy it as long as possible. Hope there is a part 2.
A half a story
Good as far as it went but it is not complete.
Show, don't tell.
There was not a word of dialog in the entire story. It was told solely in the voice of the father. That left a lot of rich material unmined. For example, instead of telling us how the kids reacted to the suggestion of family nudity, why not give us a peek into the actual seen and provide the dialog? Were the kids shocked, thrilled, excited? Show us! Tell us what they said, in their words, and describe their physical reactions. Wide eyed, tense? By using dialog you bring the characters to life in their own voices and still maintain the structural integrity of using a narrator-participant to tell the story. It's an interesting premise for a story. I look forward to future efforts by this writer. But I'd like to see a little more effort put into bringing all the characters to life.
Sorry
Did not like it mom was a complete bitch
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