Ghosts

Too Short

I gave you a 3 because of the length, but I do like the way you write. This needs to be much longer, starting with at least a little back story od the "Center", how it came to be, and maybe how the characters came to be together. I look forward to seeing more.

WK

Personally, I enjoy the way you start in the middle of the action and feed little crumbs of backstory - it's very reader-engaging and sidesteps the textbook feel of a huge infodump at once. In a short span of time, you've created compelling characters that make me want to know more. You are probably going to get dinged on votes because this is so short - more of a prologue than a first chapter - nonetheless, I thought it was an intriguing set-up and I would definitely keep reading.

Excellent start!

This was a wonderful read,but I do wish it had been lots longer. More please!

Love it!

Don't let others tell you what/how to write or intro your story. This was great and keep writing however you want! I look forward to reading it.

Great start, I'm curious now.

I hope you have a "thick skin" and can ignore the sanctimonious twits on this site who punish writers for short chapters and for not spoon feeding us a story. A good chapter is just that, regardless of length. And I like the continual discovery in a tale well told.
Yves