Good story. The switch from third-person to first-person between the second and third paragraphs through me, but I really got into it once I figured out who was who. Keep going!
by
Anonymous02/01/14
It would be a good story....
but please keep the point of view consistent. I think this story has promise with some good editing.
English
Cool idea. Like it.
Good story. The switch from third-person to first-person between the second and third paragraphs through me, but I really got into it once I figured out who was who. Keep going!
It would be a good story....
but please keep the point of view consistent. I think this story has promise with some good editing.
ok
Good start, now keep going.
I've no chance of an mpregnancy
But what a great fantasy of having a lover like that.
Great story. Longing for more.
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