Mom & Son Sex on Valentine's Day Ch. 02

Wow! Loved it Jill!

Just like in real estate it is Location, Location, Location!

For some women it is Size, Size, Size!

Eroticism at it's best, can't wait for the sequel, trembling as I write this! :)

Susan you are being a bit devilish on the pace of the story of Kathryn and Tommy, but I love the suspense and extremely sexy way it's being presented! Your descriptions and comparisons to real life are some of the things that keep us coming back for more and amazingly there is no sex in this chapter, just a sizzling time for Kathryn and a dream come true for Tommy. Great way to start the week, should generate lots of 5 star ratings and comments-I totally agree with Alaska84's too! Did anyone ever say you are a great, great, great writer Susan? Keep us smiling! :) jaybird :)

Whew

Very convincing characters. I had to shift in my seat more than once while reading. Great buildup of tension, and the internal monologues about her excitement about her exhibitionism were very hot.

i loved it!

Do NOT stop what you are writing, good to know good is out there!

Sorry to say this

There were many moments in the story that I skipped paragraphs because of the internal monologues. I am one to champion internal monologues. They are very necessary in the development and understanding of a character. But too much is too much. I can see what you are doing. You are prolonging as much as you can. Like foreplay for the mind. But people, and Jill, at one point foreplay and repeated foreplay is enough. I am not saying to skip and go to the sex already. I am saying move it along. Tell me something new. You restated so many sentences. I love all the analogies you used and the duality faced by Kathryn but, it doesn't need to be that much. I hope you know that I love the setup. I love the entire premise. But I struggled to read it because you had so much fodder to fill your story.

I can see the dedication to your characters. I love when authors show that. But to be honest at one point I skipped over or skimed paragraphs until I saw some forward motion in the story. At one point the car needs to get moving. I have read long stories. Some with 28pages. But the story moved. It didn't dwell on just a thought and didn't reuse sentences just to fill the story. I realize I sound dumb writing this when your story is just 3 pages per part but, isn't that saying something? If one is willing to read a story and still be entertained with 28 pages vs one that is 3?

Again, I love your ideas and imagination. Believe me that I do. I still finished the story but, I had to skip along. I came back and reread it to see if I missed anything of value or something new into Kathryn's background or psyche. I didn't. It was the same.

Keep writing Jill. I am a fan of yours. I realize too that you do this for fun. But I thought I might give you some constructive criticism, albeit one that you didn't ask for.


Also, this is for the readers and for authors. What is it with authors writing about guys with enormous penises. Seriously? I mean an 8 inch okay. One that is 9 hmm... Okay. I know there are huge penies out there. I know this is fantasy we are reading but, at least stay within the realm of reality. Flirt with fantasy as much as you want. But going over 10 inches come on. Make the average reader feel part of the story. Having a monster sized cock in the story seriously detaches one from the story. And I do mean monster sized. Like Ron Jeremy. Come on, how many guys have dicks like that?