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thank you, Sir

bypainful_rapture©
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by Anonymous

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by Ashesh901/26/14

Comtesse Leopolda von

Masochista , painful 'Raptor ?!! 5-ed .

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by Tsotha01/29/14

An interesting sentiment. I especially liked these lines:

"before You i was torn
between what i thought i should be
and what i knew i'd want and need"

Hm... I also think your poem could use a few line breaks, to separate the separate ideas in there. At one point I had some trouble determining where the "sentence" started and ended:

"at Your little one's life
like the rusty bloodied knife
that she had always known
with you, Sir, i have flown
never a moment of regret"

In my mind, there is a "stop" missing between the third and fourth line above.

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by painful_rapture01/29/14

Tsotha

You are right. When I'm typing I hear it in my head and sometimes skim over what I'm actually writing and miss things like that. Thank you for pointing that out :)

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