A Cure for Moonlight Ch. 07

Hard to follow

This was too hard to follow. There should be some warning before the switch between Caed & Stella then the other two. I read it all, but was confused for the most part.

XX ... XX

It was a bit hard to follow, most of the series is actually. But... I just got an xx-gasm just from the mention of that amazing band so I might stick around just because of it.

Glad to see this next chapter. I do agree that there should be a definite break between the various characters and their conversations. MMMM..... a land older than Atlantis??? Now this I need to read about. :)

Journey is an '80s band!

(OK, they started at the very end of the '70s, but the '80s was their big era. I know--I was there when that shit was going down!) :)

Your story is fascinating, so PLEASE don't wait a year for the next chapter! The grammar and proofreading leave a lot to be desired, and the constant changes in tense (e.g. "she walks into the room and went to the sofa") drove me crazy. You have both present and past tense in the same sentence. Never good. But you are a talented story-teller, so just get a proofreader.

I must agree with those who said it was confusing. You need a little break before you change the POV, like this:

******************************************* ***************

See what I did there? Good. Even if you had skipped down a couple of extra lines, it would have helped. As it is, I sometimes had to read a whole paragraph before it became clear that it was a different "she" you were talking about.

Now, to summarize:

1) Good story.
2) Another chapter soon, please?
3) Stick to one tense. Past tense is generally best. (e.g. "she walked," "he said," "they laughed.")
4) Find a proofreader.

Good luck and I look forward to the next chapter!

Terrific

Absolutely fantastic story, well written, wonderful plot. Will definitely be keeping an eye out for further chapters.