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Love it!
Another great chapter! Thank you.
Say hello to the bad guys ( please )
Jillian is boring, that's not her fault, but it is a fact. She is only of perfunctory interest if she regains some free will. In the previous installments the characters of her captors came to the forefront. Exploring these characters pathologies with a Thomas Harris like detachment, Dexter & Hannibal with the odd bit of Jamie Gumb echoes were sounded.
This story is losing traction. Hopefully someone will start looking for Jillian to inject the element of hope. No doubt, they will trying decipher the vast conspiracy that the author has hinted at. Best of luck.
Who wants a doll? Someone who will never say no or have an opinion or even a choice?
Think about it, if even god doesn't want robots, why would any of us? Because no matter how we make them act, no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves, we know that the "feelings" they have are fake, they are nothing more than a recorder echoing what they are told. Even worse, as with all things that have no feelings, we will grow bored with them, relegating them to the same position as a toaster or a vacuum...and since they don't matter, disposing them is of no consequence which proves that there is no love for them either.
I other words, what happens when his toys get old or used up or broken? What happens when Jack dies and his toys are still there needing to be cared for?
All in all, this was more depressing than erotic.
I have to agree
Most of the criticism here seems to be well thought out, or at least earnest in its emotional content. There are some who spew meaningless profanity, but that is the unfortunate downside of a site like lit. Thoughtless trolls abound. As for me, I find myself agreeing with Lord Slamdawgg and others when they express a growing dissatisfaction with the story. Jillian is failing fast and there is no hope of rescue for her or resistance on her part, so conflict is absent from the story. While exploring the pathology of the psychosis of her abductor and his minions holds a certain fascination, it isn't enough to sustain interest for long.
At this point, the story lacks eroticism and the creeping horror of the ordeal is being muted by the clinical detachment of the villains or victim from the events portrayed. I suppose the fact that Jack is able to cope with his injuries as well as he does helps to a degree from the authors' perspective, so the torment of these young women, Jillian in particular can continue without having to delve into the permanent damage being burned as badly as he was would do to his immune system and the chronic health issues he would face. From a readers perspective though, everything is simply too easy for Jack and as such, pretty boring. I would echo the advice to add conflict to the story or end it. 3 stars for this chapter.
Give it a chance ...
it's early yet to pick this story apart and I for one am enjoying it! In fact I was disappointed it wasn't three pages :)
made my day
I don't usualy look at storys in the mind control genre of the site, but when I first read this story I fell in love with it and have been waiting for part 3 for awhile, keep writing I'd love to see how it progresses
Wonderfully Creepy
I stumbled across this and am loving it! I don't seek out mind control stories and find the "doll" factor to be right up there with the best scary movies. After all, what would it take to give up hope for a life of pampering at the hands of a monster? More soon, please!
Your imagination
is out of this world, love all your series, ,Calliope is hard to beat but this one is in a class of its own
A bit long and convoluted
for my taste, but a coherent well told tale. Good work.
Not a favorite.
I am aware that I was warned that this was drugs and mind manipulation. I read it anyway. The subject was distasteful but the writing was superb.
Not a favorite.
I am aware that I was warned that this was drugs and mind manipulation. I read it anyway. The subject was distasteful but the writing was superb.
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