It is a good story but lost me on the few mistakes which are easy to fix. It sort of broke the flow as they stood out. Not sure if you noticed but 'ice burg' is actually iceberg. Also you say "Now Jeannie was a friend...". Should it not be "Jeannie is a friend..."
These little things are what a good editor catches and help fix to insure the story flows. Keep writing as it is a good start but find an editor. Or, at least someone to give it the once over before submitting.
English
Editor?
It is a good story but lost me on the few mistakes which are easy to fix. It sort of broke the flow as they stood out. Not sure if you noticed but 'ice burg' is actually iceberg. Also you say "Now Jeannie was a friend...". Should it not be "Jeannie is a friend..."
These little things are what a good editor catches and help fix to insure the story flows. Keep writing as it is a good start but find an editor. Or, at least someone to give it the once over before submitting.
Definately needs an Editor.
Not commenting...
Good read. Picked up on the same small mistakes so I won't trifle over them. Have a neighbor with a Harley and if she ever asks I will say yes.
More!
Ya gotta write more stories, no way you leave people hanging after like this!
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