Unexpectations

what ever,

never made it past the 3rd paragraph,,, every second word was Jasmine , james, jasmine james jasmine james,, for fuck sake you were only talking about Jasmiine and james,, i think we figured that out about the second line



Trash will give it an ace since there is nothing lower

Nice story

I like it when you use their names. He, she, and it are so impersonal and detach me from the characters.

5*

To name or not to name!

One reader loves the names and another hated it.

This is an experience I had last month before Christmas and I wrote it mainly for my friend, and I decided to turn it into a little romantic letter between the two of us. This piece was written mainly for women to read. I don't know if that has any effect on either of your opinions on the names. This was more about her side of the story, her feelings and personality. She liked the names, lol.

I am pretty embarrassed at all the mistakes my editor and I let slip through after reading it on here... Ugh.

Am I the only one who thinks James comes accross as creepy? Every move is calculated and he seems manipulative too, whatever happened to two people doing what comes naturally to them rather than calculating in their heads what to do and when.