More Than You Could Ever Know

very sweet story

Good story

A little longer transition from friends to lovers might be helpful. Check out the difference between brake and break.

Nice characters and plot. Good dialog.

Keep writing.

Nice short story

Many friends with similar feelings are reluctant to take next step. Better to take a chance than regret it for a long time.

Screwing a suicidal pill popper isn't an erotic tale as much as the beginning of a cautionary one. I liked the characters, but feel as though Victoria's issues were glossed over.

Yes, a very nice and arousing story........ Now you need to get them comfortable with sex play and seeing what else she has really wanted ! Please write more chapters, as its a nice start. Thank you.F614

"She's little. She can barely reach over the stove. She's about 5'3""

Wow, how tall is the stove? I'm 5'3" and have NO trouble reaching over the stove. 1* I stopped reading there.

"gunna"?

It's "gonna".

It's Missing Something...

So, it started off quite right. Then she went to the bathroom to pop some pills...and you lost me right there. That truly ruined what could have been a great start to a story that could have initially had a sequel.
How can I concentrate on the erotic version of the story when all I'm thinking of is, "Why is she popping pills? What kind of pills is she taking and what has happened to her to make her feel this way?"
Which, for me, makes this story incomplete. Your female character is not equipped to handle the emotions she's feeling, so it makes the entire story itself extremely unbelievable.

You do have potential as a writer, especially in erotica. My best advice is to take more time developing your characters and concentrate on what type of story you'd like to tell the audience.

I say keep going. it will get greater later.

pov

I agree with PreciousKitty82's view, from when you added in the pills it seemed like a story meant for Quotev website, your writing portrays you as a young (teen) writer, but even if you are, your writing doesn't need to let us know that, but great beginning it pulled me in :)