Our First Threesome on Vacation

Sorry

First person stories are very difficult to read. It would be much better written in the third person style.

I don't agree..

I prefer 1st person stories. I can relate better. Good job, by the way!

It's not the first person...

I mostly write in first person myself, so that doesn't bother me. What throws my sense of being pulled into the story is the real time/present tense. It's as if the author is giving step by step instructions to the reader, as if this were some RPG game.

If "you" is the subject...

...it is second person. If I or we get dripping wet or suck your ten inch cock or have 44DDD breasts, it is first person. If he, she, or they scream out in ecstasy, it is third person. Second person, which almost always is awkward, is what we have here, where the reader, addressed as "you" throughout, is doing something.

nice

https://www.facebook.com/groups/465474263553316/

Very good writing but all it is, is a pickup in a bar.