Last Chance

A great 1st story...

I enjoyed your story and look forward to reading many more from you.

Predictable. Uninspiring. Not worth the time and effort. You write well, but your story lines could be better

Not bad at all.

A fun story. You rushed at the end, but otherwise it was a good, entertaining read.

YAWN

Half of the first page was basically repeating itself and the ending left a lot to be desired, it just ended.

Ending?

I liked your story quite well, but I thought the ending was very weak. I have not rated the story as I would not have given more than a 3 and I did not want to bring the number down for you. Please keep sending in stories.

Thanks for the comments!

Thanks for the comments all, I've just now updated the ending to not be so rushed (instead of making a pt 2). It should be uploaded soon, I hope that addresses your main concerns. If you have any other suggestions or comments please let me know, this is my first story and I'd like to write more but want to improve as a I do so, so I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. Thanks for making this fun experience.

OK ok

Now you need to continue the story. They love each other and there could and should be one or two more stories about them and there love for each other. Does he move in with her do they get married etc? Start writing.
Ron
cowboyridecc@yahoo.com