Funny as a Heart Attack

4/5. You lost a point because of Nancy's hysterics and the brothers blackmail.

As for his cheating, well, it's only fair that he confess and beg for forgiveness. Otherwise, it's not about what's right or wrong, only what you get caught doing that counts.

No real conflict

Hard to like a story where everyone is a scumbag. 1*

A beautifully wrapped and beribboned Christmas package

which in the end is an empty box.

You as much as promised he was lining up his ducks in a row for some confrontation...and we get nothing.

Why? Because he's a piece of shit too. yay...

I would think that giving his brother a DNA ultimatum would be the LAST thing he would want to do..

The worst thing about this story was I respect the author and thought I'd get more enjoyment out of this as a stand out among the cuckold fantasy stuff that I normally eschew.

The writing was good. The dialogue worked. There really was no pay off about the kids conflicts either. The transition from FBI hard ass to 'well, I was a jerk because I worked too much' was weak weak sauce, particularly since there was almost no foreshadowing to this.

But on reflection, I can see how her suicide threat might sort of change his mind. Talk is cheap however. One would think an FBI guy would know that.

Fun Read****

That a great storyline thanks for sharing this very entertaining story.

What the Fuck

A tale about cheaters and hypocrites. Horrible fucking pricks and cunts who should suffer forever. There does that tell you how I feel about your characters. Write a chapter two where all suffer in severe pain. You're an excellent writer but every author seems to write that one tale that totally sucks. This is yours.
Two stars for your talent.
By the way, the kids are alright

Nobody's perfect,

but some people are scum. Cheating is like going to the store, buying a gun, loading it, cocking it, making sure the safety is off, and then carrying it around with you. When somebody gets shot, can you really claim it was a mistake? If it wasn't a mistake and you just put a bullet in someone's marriage, are you still a "good person"? I don't think so.

Nice Twist!

I liked the surprise ending. I was worried for your excellent writing reputation since he was obviously going to forgive his wife. I thought that awful BTB crowd would bully you and shoot you down with great scorn. You came through at the end and took the wind out of their sails by making him guilty of a worse crime. I think you still created a problem for them since they usually figure that a wife's infidelity is way worse than a man's. Your story I am happy to say, is hard on misogynists.
Thank for writing!

Nice attempt at a twist but...

... it really seemed a little forced to me. It was like you were trying to give some life to a story that had, actually, become rather boring, perhaps, even to you.

Nothing & NO ONE to cheer for. I pity the poor kids and grandparents

If I had a brother, I wouldn't fuck his wife with a gun to my head.

Really fascinating story

The whole situation was very well conjured up and explains many facets of the people. I think that the only reason that he accepted the story given by the two sex partners was his own problem.

great read, very well done , loved the ending

it seems he cheating with his bothers wife first. Then yrs.' later found his bother cheating with his wife, except one kid with his bother was his.. two cheaters , what a mess. live goes on, and one wife should not feel guilty, she does not know the truth. he was no saint.

Good Plot, Poor Write

Style was very "mechanical' and read more like a text book than a work of fiction.
Wait ..... most textbooks are a work of ...... chuckle :)

strong story with well developed characters

This story is so much better than anything submitted in weeks. Thanks for your work. Court is a vain, pompous, ass who lives a double standard. He creates a perfect world for himself and works to keep it the way he wants. The reader feels sorry for him because of the way he finds out about his affair and the nature of the betrayal. The ending makes Court's failure to expose the affair make sense. I couldn't believe that he forgave his brother so easily until his own betrayal came out at the end of the story. At first I thought that as part of the forgiving process he should have told Frank that he had already fucked his wife but that is not the nature of his character. Court and Ava should keep it on the down low and pray that Frank doesn't learn about his daughter.

Thanks for writing. I look forward to your next story. 5 stars.

Don't worry too much about the grandparents

If neither son values his (or his brother's) wedding vows, where do you suppose they learned that behavior? I'm guessing the apples didn't fall too far from the tree.

Almost missed the closing twist- off, because I was pissed off !

Then I checked the comments and caught up. Shame on me. Good on the author. Personally, I don't know how things should exactly go. Although if the cheaters that were discovered en flagrante have any brains, they will wonder why and backtrack to discover the real reason: a mere marital warning ticket was issued for felony level carnal indiscretion.

I abhorred the characters, but thoroughly enjoyed the writing ( eventually). Very JPB-esque tale that regard, que no? . 5 stars!

Cute and entertaining

5*

This is seriously awesome. Loved it. An actual story!

Great story

One in a million. The illness he had before the heart attack should have been a warning. Well thought out.

Enjoyed the story.

Thanks for sharing.

Huh

Sounds like a hypocrites dream. He got to play and get away, he got the emotional advantage of her guilty feelings, and everybody loses in some way except our hero.

Interesting and novel idea though.

A good read thanks

Nice little twist.

Interesting story

A little obvious about the "twist" at the end. Made them all cheaters. Made Court a hypocrite. Really not a decent character in the bunch. And without more background we really don't understand everyone's motives. Unfortunately your writing doesn't flow very well and the dialogue seemed stilted. I simply didn't care what happened because I wasn't invested in the characters.

Angela is Court's daughter? If that is the case how did everybody win in the end? Angela may resent her parents if she finds out who her biological dad is. Its selfish for Court and Ava to let Angela and the rest of the family believe her uncle is her dad.

Good Reconcile Tale

Let me start with five stars!

Parts I loved... instant recognition of soul mate; careful consideration of a situation and the options; Hubby holding his cards (very) close to his vest; more physical brother having inferior equipment and technique!

Parts that I didn't like (but were critical to make the story) ... Hubby overworking; Little Brother going after his SiL; Hubby not recognizing clear cardiac signals! (minor quibble ... the symptoms seemed to be more like those of a 60 y.o. than those a man in his forties!)

Good slow and steady reconciliation...kept Sweetie and BroBull on their respective toes. What I REALLY liked is that Carvohi kept Hubby's own possible dalliance open. I would have preferred Hubby's profession of fidelity to be more honest ("I have never engaged in ANY improprieties with Cierra ... or ANYBODY else at work!") rather than the straight-faced lie! Hubby's few communications with Ava were JUST odd enough to keep a specter lurking, especially given his obvious intent to seek reconciliation! Being the sperm-donor for one of his brother's kids WAS a surprise, and I think, an inconsistency. Hubby was a careful man and would have been protected AND he had dropped Ava precipitously in favor of his soul mate! Even a tryst with Ava would have been an anomaly, although the story benefitted from it!

Again - 5*

Great tale

Very enjoyable. I kept looking for the other shoe to drop. It did in the last paragraph, but not what i expected. Thank you!

Two cheaters

Actually, four cheaters. They deserve one another.

A nasty dreary tale of four nasty and dreary cheaters.

A layered story

Not being FBI or other similar, I can't judge if the protagonists' actions are plausible as those of a spouse using nasty tricks to sort out the reality of his spouses' indiscretions. Maybe - in that case the misdirection was the emotional response of the protagonist, which was hidden by the medical emergency and the details of the confrontations.

The business with the middle child was an interesting red herring. It looked like a "the child knows" possibility, which put tension in the narrative that wasn't there intrinsically.

I thought the heart attack and the earlier affair was adequately foreshadowed - the second about 3/4 of a page before the end. The earlier affair was an extension of the previous relationship between Ava and Court... Frank and Nancy was a bit sleazier.

The DNA thing was very interesting - perhaps it was to preempt Frank getting DNA done on Angela? Or perhaps to get Franks DNA to verify Angela? (DNA isn't that hard to get, so the second seems a bit unlikely.)

One of the goals of this seems to be to deny the moral imperative to the protagonist - which here in Loving Wives and particularly among the commentariat is an unpopular choice. So, if you are not, or won't be, one to "win" the infidelity conflict... what resolution do you go for? In this one, the protagonist manipulated each of the players to get what he wanted, by hook or by crook. Further, it looks like he tried to optimize the results for the other players as well - although I sorta have to take the authors word about that one... Can't say that I disagree - but it ain't a piece to stroke those who want comforting about their feelings of hurt.

Complex, and unfortunately a lot of stuff I see in it is suggested rather than fully, clearly, realized... but I respect the desire to write a story where the "answers" aren't easily reached.

YMMV

Green-something

Motherfucker!

Here I am thinking the guy (cuck though I thought he might be) should be given a knighthood and the key to the city for being such a stand-up guy and what happens? He turns out to have cuckolded his brother (His BROTHER!) What a dick. Cheaters abound in this one.

Control

When Courtney woke up for the first time after the MI, he was in full control. He maintained that control masterfully. His initial tool of control was the guilt that was heaped on the Nancy and Frank associated with the MI event. The MI was bound to happen even if Court hadn't discovered anything, but he used the event to his full advantage. Demanding the DNA test was nothing but artful misdirection. He used every tool of control to his full advantage, and orchestrated it perfectly. Neither Frank, nor Nancy wanted anyone to find out. Not the children, not the grandparents. He had all of the tools of control that he needed. The contriteness of Frank and Nancy would cloud all suspicion of what he was covering up.

Did he just say he is the best brother ever after he blackmailed and fucked his wife!?!? LMFAO You just can't make this lame shit up. Somebody must have bumped their head real hard or something....

SHIT

TO)TAL FUCKING SHIT STORY.

Undecided.

I thought Court was a dick half way through with all his little tests and preaching and by the end he was a hypocritical dick so I guess my radar was on all along.
Well written story. 4*

If he really wanted to act like Dick Chaney he would have shot his wife in the face.

Hmmmm

Not your best. Entertaining but story could've gone a lot of ways and the twist seemed like a throwin. I thought there was a lot more going on, between frank and nancy, but turns out it was between Court and Ava.

Good

Good story and creative plot. Your stories are always the first I read.

Two points: since demanding the DNA test was in part to embarrass his brother and wife, why not ask for a STD test as well. Frank might have plowed other fields as well. Secondly, where is the blackmail that some commentators has referenced?

Ha ha...

Big brother is still getting it all in the end; great twist on the epilogue.

Thank you

I enjoyed reading your story. A nice twist. Thank you for sharing.

very nice; qualifies as literature

very nice; qualifies as literature

By the end of page one I'm immersed, almost overwhelmed by the wondrousness of the tale. A story that's been writ so many thousands of times before yet 'Birdie' has grabbed some serious attention..I'm feeling dizzy - we have an author that is able to make me fall in love with the girl who, I'm sure to to come, will be a fucking heartbreaker. A serious fucking heartbreaker. I feel a numbness...in my left arm;

Using the brother - carvohi doesn't fuck around he's taking us on a rollercoaster. Albeit Mr. FBI is as poker faced as...er ...a poker? He's nobody's fool though. The 'art attack gives him the edge in that he must lay quiet, be calm..assess the damage. Weigh it up. Three daughters - a family awaiting to lie in ruins. Mom, pop and baby bro the horn dog. This stone cold he ain't about to blow. No explosive unredeemable bloods up n gore damage. So far no traumatised kids...Point well made that hub had already given a tacit nod regarding Ava to baby bro.

We not hearing much from her side and then come confession time from Nancy. Yeah. So what have ya got to say you faithless slut?? I'd have preferred it if she was on her fucking knees but then she is! With a 'master' thrown in! Love it! To this good and faithful caring hubby she's made a error - and liitle bro spiels like he's being fucking waterboarded which leads out straight to the wimp ass reconciliation despite the suggestion that ...wait! He's gonna kerb her...

No he's not! The tension is jammed.......,.!!!

Oh! Neat twist! The bad man....excellent entertainment. 5*

Neat twist at the end.

Court and Ava were together at the beginning. They were always close. Frank always had what Court had. It all makes some sort of sense. Also the brothers were both lawyers, a job where concocting a plausible yarn for a gullible audience is a standard requirement.

Good story with a great twist at the end.

Did not see that one coming, but it puts the rest of the story into a credible regime. Interesting and well-written story.

You got me......

Goodness, I was so wrapped up in the obvious you got me to walk right into the
trap door. Nice story. Even under the epilog circumstances I suspect I would have
twisted wife and brother a bit more. Fine story line and schema and superb wordsmithing. Thank you.

Bullshit Twist

If you’re going to pull a twist like this, DO NOT WRITE IN FIRST PERSON! We know his every thought and feeling. We know how much he feels betrayed and hurt. We know his anguish. A change like this is a negation of everything that came before it. What was a somewhat sympathetic character turns out to be an asshole and a hypocrite. If you had written this in third person, you might have been able to get away with it, but in first person, it’s shit.

why make it so long

A lot of superfluous detail and the ploy of using interludes with titles siply disjointed the flow of the story. You wrote the guy as an arrogant and patronising arsehole in the first place which had me disliking him right from the start. If you had made him pleasant and sympathetic the twist in the tale would have been twice as effective.

So...

...ultimately he is the real piece of crap. No wonder he couldn't get really mad. What a totally screwed up set of adults.

thankyou

for sharing your misery.... 1

Nice Twist in the tale

I never once anticipated the last twist in the tale. Enjoyed the story!!!

Writing was fairly good

But I sensed that Court had cheated too -- else, why cave so easily? A bit trite that he cheated with his brother's wife, someone he ditched in order to date and marry his little "Birdie." I'm in some agreement with another comment that there was no one to like or respect in this story.

In general, the hero of the story should undergo a change, hopefully a positive one. How did Court change? Well, he had a heart attack and bypass surgery. And he vowed to spend more time with his family. But I don't feel I can count these in the great scheme of things. Not my favorite from this author but still liked it, so three stars. Thanks for writing.

Very good

I love your writing style, very good

Don't understand

How such weak men are the focus of most stories here, just about time to stop wasting time with this entire site. This story was a prime example of why, characters are half developed, and no one values their word. Great example for the girls, primed and ready for losers. A chance was there and the story just fell to crap.