The Coven Ch. 01

interesting

not a bad start.

good start

but maybe you could explain the mechanics of your world more in detail so we readers understand it better, but overall it stays an interesting story you have started and i am waiting for the next chapter

I like it...

Interesting background, and i'd like more.

An Elf?

Would have gone with wood nymphs.

your ability to design a world is intriguing, however you need an editor the broken english was entirely distracting and ruined the whole stories feel.

a good story is like a good road, smooth. yours was like a cobble road, work on it and you could be a great writer

broken roads

Broken roads some times lead to the best of places. Sure a editor would help but for the grammar police to imply that it kills the story? Bla ignore them. Pigs belong stated out under a hornet's nest smeared in honey.

fast paced

This is really fast paced. They meet and in less then a few hours, the night isn't even over, there are declarations of soul mates and no one is even questioning it. No one is even a little concerned. Liz just moves into Sam's room.

You may be missing out on some of the build up and character development.

mysteries

While others seem to need build up (whatever works for them), I love the mysteries so far. I live to try to figure things out and see if I'm on track. Tidbits here and there....
As for editors, why are so many so worked up about them? Yes, it makes for a smoother read. But if someone doesn'thave the creative mind needed to make a few jumps, why be on an amateur site? It's like expecting Mario Lanza to show up at karaoke. Keep things as you want them and please, keep the story going. I'm on ch 2 and want to finish but it's after 4. But very soon....