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I agree
Island Lilly, I'm going to agree with some of the others. The story was decent; can't complain about that. But you could use help from someone editing what you do. It's hard to catch everything. Just a suggestion...
Very fun!
The sex was hot in both chapters, seriously :)
I felt like this chapter flowed better than the first, with more character and story development, and I really liked the switching of POV. You have a talent for story telling, and a great imagination, the rest will come. Keep writing!
Liked both Chapters
Very good story and liked the build-up and the sex. However, this story has legs and really could use more chapters with more intense sex. Nickki could very easily end up in control of Rachel which would really add spice to the story line.
More and longer chapters??
Very enjoyable
I agree that this story has staying power. It would be very nice to see the development of these characters. I think there is room for a few more twists and I think you have the writing ability to give us something good! Also, I loved how you switched the view point on us in chapter two, clever choice!
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