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A teasing introduction
I see, from the story tags, that there is much more of this story to come. What you have brought us so far is fascinating, but we really do need to know more - and soon - or you will find your audience dwindling. This is well-written and well-presented but it leaves one asking for much more; please supply it! Four stars and a big 'Thank you'.
Lots more to come!
The next seven chapters were submitted, I'm just waiting on Literotica to approve them!
Not Enough There To Rate
Not bad start, would have been better as Page 1 of a 2 or 3 page chapter, rather than an entire chapter one.
Normal Service will resume soon
You're probably right. Tbh, I submitted the first four chapters one after another so I thought they'd publish the lot together, not put the first one out as a teaser then go home for the weekend!
A suggestion
You might want to try breaking it up into longer chapters, rather than shorter ones. Most people like to read things that are a little longer, it helps with the continuity.
Not a bad start
As I said, the beginning isn't bad, though it was short. It seemed even shorter because you set a frantic pace with your story construction, then the chapter...I hope it's simply the first chapter...came crashing to a halt. I guess that simply makes us all more rabid in our anticipation of chapter two.
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