homeSci-Fi & FantasyThe Chronic Legacy Ch. 01Public Comments

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The Chronic Legacy Ch. 01

byRavenThunderclaw©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous03/08/14

Good story

You made some spelling mistakes, such as elk insted of ilk, and hoe instead of how. Some grammar mistakes as well, you should try and find an editor or proof read it several times yourself. Please keep writing this and the other stories you started. :)

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by Anonymous03/10/14

Use an editor.

I read until

The deep V-cut of the dress showed off much of her deep cleavage, with a single gem, that matches her eye colour, set between the twin gloves.

Then you lost me. You have conflicting tenses and misspelled words.

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by Anonymous03/15/14

seriously, get an editor or proof read before post.

Suggest you pull this down and do a re-write. So many errors and Grammer mistakes I couldn't get bast the first 5 minutes of ready. premise is good but it's impossible to read.

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