Has great potential!
hope you continue
Too short, and ending was too abrupt.
Well written. Nice story developement. Tempting and teasing on both parts. Keep the tension happening, and the temptation definitely needs to continue Thank you.
Good start, but much too short.
all build up and no pay off. the story ended just as it was getting started. please post chapter two soon.
Much to slow and much to abrupt. Plus not believable even as a fantasy. These things don't happen to 18 year olds. They happen to 13 - 14 year olds.
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English
Has great potential!
very interesting
hope you continue
Too short.
Too short, and ending was too abrupt.
I Agree with the other comments...
Well written. Nice story developement. Tempting and teasing on both parts. Keep the tension happening, and the temptation definitely needs to continue Thank you.
I agree
Good start, but much too short.
blue balls
all build up and no pay off. the story ended just as it was getting started. please post chapter two soon.
No, No, No.
Much to slow and much to abrupt. Plus not believable even as a fantasy. These things don't happen to 18 year olds. They happen to 13 - 14 year olds.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Desires within Young Girls Ch. 01 or
More submissions by electraslade.