Do You Trust Me?

Simple answer?

No I don't trust you. This was wham, bam, thank you ma'am without rhyme or reason. Way too short to be any good. It deserves the "1" I gave it. UGH!

This was pretty good but I do agree with the other anonymous. This story has potential and should have been stretched out more. You pushed the story too quickly and didn't take your time. Keep writing though, this really was good :)

Come off of anon if you want your comments taken seriously and not be considered trolls.

The story was brief and good. Personally, I prefer book-length stories, or at least novellas; I like to really understand what's going on with the characters. This story, while short, still gave a bit of background, and overall it was realistic and enjoyable.

porcelein nightmare

EL. this story was okay for a flash quickie. A raunchy little lesbian romp. As the other commentators recommended you might describe the background for your characters. Allow some expanded dialog to add depth to their personalities. Give them a larger stage, with interaction with other characters.

The only thing i would urge you to reevaluate in this type of story is "....we both had about ten shots ....of tequila...."? At the very least either of you would be worshiping at the porcelain throne or more likely comatose with the EMT's trying to pump out the booze before your liver explodes.

Maybe you Brits are importing heavily watered down tequila? Cause the Mexican nitroglycerin we get here on the left coast of the colonies would strip paint just from the fumes of opening the bottle!