This was hot, but...it lacked dramatic tension. There was no real conflict. Everything was great, right from the start. Everyone was beautiful and well hung. Nobody had any doubts or second thoughts. Whatever was suggested was immediately agreed to.
Even the 18 year-old anal virgin had no problems getting spanked and reamed by a penis the size of a liter of coke. How everything ended up was great. But I would have enjoyed more of a tease, more foreplay, more of a "Will they or won't they?" before you just have them decide, "OK, it's all good." It would also reveal more about their personalities.
by
Anonymous02/27/14
Dramatic tension?
The little sister was already there and waiting in sexy lingerie. Why would she decide to then not to go through with it? Hell, her big sister cleaned out her ass with an enema bag! She seemed pretty committed. Especially since she has never had a good fucking.
Rated it four stars for the story could have been a five if there had been some foreplay leading up to the sex.
Gave it a two stars for the 9" cock, Was it really needed to make the story?
At least I wrote a story (three in fact). I went to your biography & the only thing you've uploaded is a closeup of your mug.
About my story, did you even read it? You wrote that it needed foreplay before the sex. Around two thirds of the first page is all foreplay. Now maybe you & I have radical differences on what constitutes foreplay. So if you're idea of foreplay is having some chick stand on your balls while she throws up on your belly....then I don't think my stories are for you.
The reason I had a character with a nine inch dick is because I think it's hot when a beautiful woman is getting fucked by someone that's well-endowed. I know that large dicks are rare but they're not mythical like unicorns. Approximately 3% of men are bigger than 8 inches when erect. One man in 10,000 has a 10-inch erection and using basic math of 151.4 million men in the United States, that means there are 1,514 men in the U.S. with a 10-inch cock. I have seen other people post that same complaint (it's not realistic, blah blah blah). But the reality is that I am not writing stories based on reality. I didn't write the story for you. I wrote a story that I thought was hot. If other people like it too, then awesome. If not, then whatever. There's no way to write a story that will please everyone. That's just impossible.
Try writing a story and maybe you will understand.
Your attitude sucks. If you can't take honest criticism, you should stop submitting stories. Your comment to Averygoodlay is completely asinine. A person doesn't have to author a story to judge what they read. Have you ever criticized a movie or TV show? Have you ever produced with one yourself? No, your simply a hypocrite.
by
Anonymous03/26/14
Keep Your comments to yourself
So you're saying because you didn't like it it was a bad story? Can't you just leave him alone? It's his story you don't have to pick on him because there was something you didn't like. Just read a different story if it bugs you that much. And if you want foreplay read an actual book this is Literotica not a best selling novel webpage. So just lay off. Good story by the way. And keep on writing!
It is amazing to me how many people in this world instead of just relaxing and enjoying other peoples fantasies they feel they must be a critic. These are all someone's own fantasies put down in writing much like a dream and there doesn't have to be a perfection and if it doesn't turn someone's crank just move on to the next Thanks for a very good story.
So we we'll be enjoying this story even more as they are going weekly and more with the black dildo and the live dildo. Keep the words cumming and guess moms will need to enter the pages. One of the dumbest PR things i ever heard or read was, "...Vegas, stays in Vegas..." it must be good unless people can't stop putting it on all types of items in stores. Including Old Time Pottery. I have always thought in some cases marketing can't think of an original thought. Love your story but you could drop the Vegas bit and I wouldn't miss it one bit. Good - no great - story!
English
WOW
Exquisitely done, I truly hope there is more to follow
What
Only in my dreams, please write more.
Good, but...
This was hot, but...it lacked dramatic tension. There was no real conflict. Everything was great, right from the start. Everyone was beautiful and well hung. Nobody had any doubts or second thoughts. Whatever was suggested was immediately agreed to.
Even the 18 year-old anal virgin had no problems getting spanked and reamed by a penis the size of a liter of coke. How everything ended up was great. But I would have enjoyed more of a tease, more foreplay, more of a "Will they or won't they?" before you just have them decide, "OK, it's all good." It would also reveal more about their personalities.
Dramatic tension?
The little sister was already there and waiting in sexy lingerie. Why would she decide to then not to go through with it? Hell, her big sister cleaned out her ass with an enema bag! She seemed pretty committed. Especially since she has never had a good fucking.
Loved the story! DON'T STOP WRITING!
Fantastic fantasy story
Please can we have more. Noted Miranda is a dancer. that has possibilities! 5* Ken
A four
Rated it four stars for the story could have been a five if there had been some foreplay leading up to the sex.
Gave it a two stars for the 9" cock, Was it really needed to make the story?
re: Averygoodlay
At least I wrote a story (three in fact). I went to your biography & the only thing you've uploaded is a closeup of your mug.
About my story, did you even read it? You wrote that it needed foreplay before the sex. Around two thirds of the first page is all foreplay. Now maybe you & I have radical differences on what constitutes foreplay. So if you're idea of foreplay is having some chick stand on your balls while she throws up on your belly....then I don't think my stories are for you.
The reason I had a character with a nine inch dick is because I think it's hot when a beautiful woman is getting fucked by someone that's well-endowed. I know that large dicks are rare but they're not mythical like unicorns. Approximately 3% of men are bigger than 8 inches when erect. One man in 10,000 has a 10-inch erection and using basic math of 151.4 million men in the United States, that means there are 1,514 men in the U.S. with a 10-inch cock. I have seen other people post that same complaint (it's not realistic, blah blah blah). But the reality is that I am not writing stories based on reality. I didn't write the story for you. I wrote a story that I thought was hot. If other people like it too, then awesome. If not, then whatever. There's no way to write a story that will please everyone. That's just impossible.
Try writing a story and maybe you will understand.
Mellow_SixtyNine...
Your attitude sucks. If you can't take honest criticism, you should stop submitting stories. Your comment to Averygoodlay is completely asinine. A person doesn't have to author a story to judge what they read. Have you ever criticized a movie or TV show? Have you ever produced with one yourself? No, your simply a hypocrite.
Keep Your comments to yourself
So you're saying because you didn't like it it was a bad story? Can't you just leave him alone? It's his story you don't have to pick on him because there was something you didn't like. Just read a different story if it bugs you that much. And if you want foreplay read an actual book this is Literotica not a best selling novel webpage. So just lay off. Good story by the way. And keep on writing!
Very Good
It is amazing to me how many people in this world instead of just relaxing and enjoying other peoples fantasies they feel they must be a critic. These are all someone's own fantasies put down in writing much like a dream and there doesn't have to be a perfection and if it doesn't turn someone's crank just move on to the next Thanks for a very good story.
Smoking hot!! A definite 5* story!
Dam good story
Your good at writing I wish I could find a program that would do a proof read.
This is one helluva story Keep up the good work
great story
cant wait to read a 2nd chapter to this story
Loved it. Hope to see a second chapter.
awesome
Can't wait to read more about this sizzling threesome's next romp!!!
Fantastic story
Great story. loved it please and another chapter to this. maybe get the sister in-law to move in with them.
Loved it and would like to add it would have been hot if he got into anal too. The sisters could use a strap on with him.
Amazing.
Really great story. Well written.
Hot as hell. I'm so fucking hard. My wife is sleeping next to me. Maybe I'll wake her up
Cum, cum cum
So we we'll be enjoying this story even more as they are going weekly and more with the black dildo and the live dildo. Keep the words cumming and guess moms will need to enter the pages. One of the dumbest PR things i ever heard or read was, "...Vegas, stays in Vegas..." it must be good unless people can't stop putting it on all types of items in stores. Including Old Time Pottery. I have always thought in some cases marketing can't think of an original thought. Love your story but you could drop the Vegas bit and I wouldn't miss it one bit. Good - no great - story!
Sweet!
Thank you for the lovely story. The man has a very tolerant and sensual wife. With his SIL, they make a nice threesome.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm
Good stuff.
Would like to see how the ladies abuse his ass as well!
Or maybe bring in a biguy as well!
Good style
I'm not into the incest thing but i just wanted to say that it was written really well and the blonde sister''s a great character. Well done!
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