Oh My God, It's You

Started out good

Then about halfway through, you started forcing the plot for a hollywood ending, then tacking on the Jenny story to fill it out some. Also, some of the dialog, especially towards the end, was stilted and awkward. It sounded more like what a grownup looking back wished he'd said, rather than what a teen would've.

TRY HARD NOT TO BE A SOCIAL CLIMBER

when the love bird strikes, TK U MLJ LV NV

FAVORITE WRITER

I LOVE YOUR STORIES AND REALLY LOOK FORWARD TO THE NEXT ONE EACH DAY THANKS FOR SOME REALLY GREAT STORIES LOOKING FORWARD TO MANY MORE LARRY

Why hurry ?

Rush job on the story - trying to move it too quickly to the conclusion.. Abrupt jumps all thru the story. Looks like you just expanding the story outline.. Please make the story memorable with well defined writing and editing. Otherwise, it is just waste of time/effort.

Way too long, and a little sloppy, so I didn't bother to finish this story.

Wonderful and heartwarming story of two families coming together!

An excellent story with a moving plot and surprise ending. I really like the characters and storyline, they seemed very real to me. Just enough sex to make things erotic and spicy. Probably Michael's Mom is the leader for best character and most common sense. Keep writing, you do a great job and I enjoy! :) Smiles-Jaybird

Thanks***

For the read.

Good story

and fun read. It was a condensed version, but most enjoyable Thank you

Excellent story which ended too quickly.

Like a lot of the good ones this ended way too fast. I wanted to see if this couple married. The presumption is there with no real confirmation. Some authors include a quick decade or more scan at the conclusion to give the reader confirmation. I always enjoy authors doing that. Just the same, I rated this five stars in spite of needing a good dose of editing and polishing. Thank you for your effort.

A good story very well written

Thanks

Jenny's story was just not needed

The subplot with a pregnant jenny didn't do any thing for the story. Why have it. If it's to show a contrast with what the protagonists have or to provide some titillation then it actually was a put off. A first time love making scene between the leads would have been far better and hotter.
I suggest the next time around cut the flab and stick to the plot cos yours are absolutely fabulous.

Good Romance

All the usual parts followed by a surprisingly rational ending.

TOP NOTCH STORY

loved how it unfolded and she was able to get her head from up her arse and see the truth..and what two great families....a rich girl done good...