All Comments on 'The King's Creed Ch.01'

It is always a good day when I see a post from Noble Truth!!

In some ways I hate you because you always end in cliff hangers though. You're kind of like a huge sadist aren't you NT?

Kisses from Kansas

More please!!

Please write some more

I thought the first story Jonathon Creed was great 5 stars for all chapters.

Been hoping you would continue the story.

But I'm not a big fan of the way your advancing the relationship between Jonathon and Sarah though, Not really into the whole punishment and pain thing and in this story you are really going all out with it.

Wow, one day in and I've already got some good feedback. Thank you. I'll respond to comments now.

Anonymous (Yes!!! Five Stars!). I like it when I see posts from myself as well. It reminds me that I actually finish some writing every once in a while. I am a sadist, but I like to think of myself as the cuddly teddy bear kind of sadist.

Anonymous (more, more.....good work!) I'm working on it! I feel like I'm trying to fill a bottomless pit.

Anonymous (Incredibly thrilling story) I will write some more. I'll write extra fast because you were so polite...hopefully. Sometimes my typing fingers can't keep up with my brain.

Anonymous (Not Bad 4 stars) Well, first off, I'm glad you liked the first story. I'm sorry I squicked you with the spanking scenes. I felt like they were necessary to the plot, and I tried to counter balance them with some loving moments. I am very glad to have an honest opinion though.

Well, thank you guys for devouring my story in a single night. I promise to get back to my writing now.

NT

Good try and try post chapters as early as possible

I know you coukd be busy with other work but at least try

Loved Jonathan creed and this as will

Waiting for next chapter

Tc

:) Truly enjoying the inner/outer look of things as well as a few of the plot twists.

Tis nice to see a protagonist who is flawed but not broken....

Suggestion: Depending on what you want the diffusion of such technology to criminal elements would involve international sales as those networks are far flung.

Keep up the great work!

I mean, disregard the super hot-t-t-t sex scenes, disregard erotica - You. Write. Like a fucking. Pro! Your writing draws me in, it titillates, it exhilarates, and I fucking love it!

The erotic tension and the insinuation of the depravity are even better than the acts themselves, and I can almost feel the emotions in them.

And as for Creed himself? He's still a bit boring when he's not all beast. But I can see that you're working on character development, and I hope to see him become the alpha male he should be. And Carol? God I hate her. I hope there will be some serious puny-shments for her. Hey, ever thought of making Creed become a type of that "righteous" outlaw? I never had much love for government, and I feel that the FBI is preventing this character from achieving his full potential; he could do so much more if he were to - oh, I dunno - go underground? Especially since these documents went public. And yeah, I hate that Connors guy, too. A lawyer. Too smug. You should make him eat it. That's about it from me

--NR

So incredibly good

Your style is really sharp. I await your next post. Thanks.

Bravo!!!! Looking forward to more from this series and the other. Keep up the Great work.

Wow!! I'm loving the story. I hope he really starts to dominate Carol also. Please have him take his secretary under his control as well.

You make men want to be him and women to be with him. Keep up the excellent work.

Pretty Awesome. I really like the "reluctant master" type stories like this one. I love the BDSM and female characters that NEED to be submissive. Any chance of giving us a posting Schedule, Please?

All hail the king of mind control.

Kat

Best author on this site, best series on this site.

Hands down!

this was exellent, but i was expecting more from all the time you took...dont get me wrong, i liked it, but if it is going to be this short you should have put your time in to finishing Celestial matters Ch.3 and done this afterwards. i have been so anxious waiting for it to be finished and i would appreciate it if you had spent more time in that, because i really love that series. please finish soon. and do have a good day Noble. -xbox

(Side Note: I doubt anyone really comes back to a story they have already read to see if I responded to their comment...but deluding myself makes me happy).

Anon (good haan)?- I get the gist of what you were saying. Thanks for commenting, I'm glad you liked it.

Anon (Wonderfull work)- Thanks, I've been trying to tinker with it so that the inner/outer look remains interesting. I'm more interested in writing about that than the sex most of the time. I won't respond to your suggestion, because spoilers make me sad.

Anon (You...you write like a fucking pro) That's some high praise. Thank you very much. I based Connors off a guy who deserves to eat it.

mordin177- Thanks.

babasluv- You might have LV my editor to thank for the sharpness. But thanks anyway.

geesy333- You'll be getting Celestial Wars Ch.03 before you get the second part of this series, so I'm glad you're looking forward to it. Thanks for commenting.

Anon (Excellent) I am glad you are loving it. I won't reveal plot points though, despite how much of a sucker I am for flattery.

Anon (Just "Wow")- I'm trying to turn Jon into someone like that. Thanks for reading. I'll try to keep the writing crisp.

Anon (No title) I like that kind of story as well. In fact, all the stories I've written under the Noble_Truth name has elements of the things you listed. Glad you share my tastes.

Anon (You are the best)- Ha, I doubt that I am the best. Conathe is the king of the mind control category. Go read "My Only Talent"

Anon (Stop teasing us) See above comment. You guys are going to give me too big a head. Then I'm just going to stare at myself in the mirror all day and never get any writing done. Very glad that you like the Creed series though.

xboxplayer68- First off, I'm glad you liked it. The reason i posted this is because I had reached six completed chapters. This is the amount I write now days so that I can get content to you guys faster, and so people don't have to slog through a fifteen page story. I don't really choose when I write on one story or another. When the mood takes me, I sit down and one story just calls to me. Celestial Wars Ch.03 has nearly three chapters finished, so it is nearly half way done. I can't make any promises about a release date, because I simply don't know. I'll try and have a good day...oh, and I snuck a peek at your profile, and I've played a good deal of Skyrim in my day.

Well guys, that's all the comments that I see. Hope I addressed everyone. If you need something else to read, check out my favorites section. There are things there that you will enjoy if you like my stories.

NT

I said it with a reason. You see, writing sentences is easy. But *Writing* - as in composing those sentences in the best manner possible so that they contain weight to them, yet remain easy to read and to carry the reader along for the ride instead of him having to fight his way through them - now, that is a first glimpse of a skilled writer. The idea is nothing; us humans have imagination, and ideas are spawned all the time, in anyone's and everyone's minds. It takes skill and inherent feeling in one's thoughts to transform those ideas and thoughts into something that someone else can not just read, but understand as well. And the highest reward a writer can achieve is if his work is so well-written, incorporating such amazing thoughts, that a potential reader cannot do anything *but* continue reading. Those are your works.

The first few paragraphs in Jonathan Creed, as well as in King's Creed have this something that for some reason draws the reader in. In the first Creed, it is the ambient of the Church; in this one here, it is the ambient of the city, where in both cases you manage to invoke the sounds, the scents and the feel of the entire scene before it even starts. Now, that's not easy. Only the skilled writers can use that without it appearing forced; I don't know where you picked that style up, but the skill is to be actually able to use it.

And then you start with the regular boring day, while gradually adding more and more erotic tension. That is an excellent way of doing things - no immediate, sudden tasteless sex - but buildup. Then comes the hot, non-rushed sex scene that overflows with tension and passion before release. Yes, there is sadism and masochism, but you're handling the limits masterfully. There is no hate, no rancid feelings, but only passion and love and very clearly stated needs that need be fulfilled. So, if you come upon some nay-sayers in your comments or pm - those who wish to flame, to hate your work because of how you write it - ignore them!!! I'll tell you now that you have covered all the contingencies against this seeming too violent.

You say conanthe is a great author? Yes, he is great, but don't you dare be modest by saying you're not as great as he is! You've got this shit real tight in your reigns, and the people have voted.

P.S. Don't let this get to your head. I still want updates, man! Updates! And I don't want you to slack off! :)

-NR

Your a right bastard for the cliff hangers :p

Needless to say, can't wait for chapter 2 :)

If I had bought a book written to this quality, I would be searching for other releases from the same author

please bash out the next issue asap

thank you

I wasn't expecting a sequel to Jonathan Creed, but I'm glad you made it, it was a fabulous beginning of a sequel, and I can't wait until I can see the next part of either this or celestial wars. Bravo, good sir, for your great stories and for keeping them going.

One of the most entertaining series I have read

The first story, was a little long in the tooth. I think it ran out of gas 3/4 of the way through. However, this portion of the sequel is very well written. the pacing is excellent, there's momentum that carries the story forward. I enjoy the inner conflict of the protagonist, and the willful disobedience of Carol. I think your character Jon Creed is developing quite well. I'm interested in reading more of this "story line"....

That was mean of you, but it is a great story, cannot wait for the next bit!

I have enjoyed this series that you have put together, hopefully you will continue with this saga.

Anon (You writing like a pro) I won't argue with you, especially when you're saying nice things. I'll get updates out as I am able. Thank you very much for taking the time to write such a long and well thought out comment.

Jounar- Hello Jounar, good to see you again. I continue to be a bastard, and a slow writer.

Anon (more please) Thank you very much. I have other things posted on this site. However, you must keep in mind that I continue to improve my craft, so some of my earlier work might be rough compared to this.

bcbb- Hello again bcbb, I'm glad I can pull a surprise or two out of my hat when I need to. I try to keep all of my stories going until they reach a satisfying end. I will write an update if I abandon them. I won't just let the fester.

Anon (excellence will out) Thank you good sir or madam.

whitedevil01- That is why I post stories in increments of sixty or so pages. Jonathan Creed was 190 pages, and did drag towards the middle. Thanks for giving the sequel a chance. I have the story line all planned out. Now I just have to write the damn thing.

Anon (Evil!!) I am evil. If you didn't know this before, you know it now. Welcome to the Noble_Truth world. Thanks for reading by the way.

Anon (Very well written) Why thank you. My imagination put it together. I really have no say in what it does or doesn't come up with. I will continue this saga, but be warned, I type slowly and take many coffee breaks.

Thanks guys for another batch of great comments. You warm my black heart.

NT

I'm not really into the master/slave relationship, but that's just me. I love the rest of the story, the writing is great. More soon please. 5*

I've enjoyed every story you've written, but this is the best so far

Errrrr, you're my favorite author on this site and you leave me hanging after 3 months with a 6 page story errrr. More please!

Write faster already! It's an amazing story, though I'm bummed we haven't actually seen Sarah obey the second half of Rule 3. Hell, we haven't seen him get any oral so far. That kinda bums me out, but I'm just one person with that opinion. Just keep up the great work!

I think you should submit this story and your previous one to a film director.

This would make a great film series. Great writing and thanks for the pleasure.

Ciao KJF

Now please don't take another 6 months or whatever to give us chapter 2

As with all of your other works this is another amazing submission, thank you and please do not stop you magnificent bastard.

50 Shades of Grey? Bahhhhh, amateurish compared to your stuff. Loved it as always. Thanks again for your work.

I'm going to try my best to write this as I hang one handed from this cliff!! This story has me by the balls and by the brain stem. If it was a book I would buy it if it was a movie I would go see it numerous times!!!! I can't say enough about it. So I'll just say this, MORE!!!!

I enjoy your writing, not simply as erotic literature but also as an outstanding piece of writing.

I'm glad to see that the sequel is looking like an excellent development of the Jonathan Creed story. Only one small problem: where's the next chapter?

You may have created a monster!

Please keep up the great work, on all your stories.

I would like to see him take the girls and disappear. He could easily make millions with his enhanced mind and perhaps create more chips but for willing submissives.

I hope we hear lots more play with him and his sexy slave.

Thanks 4 sharing your wicked works, I love your mind

Your writing is very detailed yet very easy to read and digest. Great plot lines and characters. Look forward to many more. Thanks for the entertainment Noble_Truth!!

Some of the best literature I have ever had the please to read please keep it up.

This being the forty third comment I would say that you have followers me being one of them, normally I read for a good get myself off story but your development of characters is exquisite,I'm now invested in the story.

Thank you for a great story, hope you'll continue the story and not leave us hanging on this cliffhanger ;)

Noble you son of a bitch.

I hate cliffhangers.

WRITE.

WRITE GOD DAMN IT, WRITE!

WRITE, FORREST, WR... wait wrong line... Nevermind... :p

Very enjoyable, fast paced and progressing nicely

Not an empty room, more like a well filled stadium and well deserved.

Keep them coming ...please one of the best storys I have read so far

A good hook to bring us back for the next installment; not too long a wait we all hope.

I am completely glued to your story. It's very exhilarating and erotic, you strike a skilled balance.

Now I'm waiting for this one AND celestial wars. Faster, damnit! :)

If the sex scenes were omitted, this could pass as a published sci-fi thriller with elements of a good, old-fashioned espionage tale. Despite instinctively knowing how the hook will be resolved, I (and many others, I'm sure) eagerly await the next story.

A thoughtless boast that makes me wonder what you think evil is. By definition, there can only be one infinite; so if you're capable of introspective thought, you understand that all of creation comes from God, so he must have created evil. Not so; we do! We are born into this material world, constrained by time and space, where every waking moment of our lives is a decision determining where we want to spend eternity. Do we choose to be good by loving our friends and neighbors and through them The Lord, or do we create evil by turning our backs on good and love ourselves above all else? God wants our love, but if we don't have the freedom to choose to not love him, our love for him would be meaningless. Heaven is where those of us who choose to love the Lord are blessed for eternity; hell is where those of us who reject the Lord, reject his blessings for eternity. Looks like a claim to be rather evil is a claim to be short-sighted, selfish and stupid. BTW, if you could prove God exists, you would not be free to reject Him; if you did, you would be insane.

In spite of this, I gave you five stars because your concept and execution is so damn good! But if he ends up caving into hate and selfishness, there will only be one star for you. So with that caveat, I hope influence your freedom of choice and make you do the right thing.

Please insert a " to " between hope and influence in my previous comment.

While a closer spell check would ensure correction of tiny but significant errors the story line of this series (written so far) is challenged by few within the given tags. I couldn't help but think of Dan Brown's enticing Robert Langdon as I followed Jonathan Creed and his carefully weaved character and story pattern. I must say as an avid reader your stocks have sky rocketed in my books. I am also eagerly awaiting the next installment of the Celestial series as this one.

best wishes

i have read Jonathan Creed many times and i still can read it a few more times, but this story somewhere lacked. nd it is not just abt sex scenes nd all.... the story also could have been better

excellent

Your writing. Your imagination is incredible. Enjoyed every word of your Creed stories. Thx.

*grins*

You just had to leave us with such a cliffhanger, didn't you?

i am truly enjoying this storyline. i have been curious since the first about Jonathan's early childhood.... particularly the events surrounding his parent's death. For some reason, i strongly feel that his beast stems from that event. I am truly loving the D/s scenes and the descriptions of Sarah's submission and slavery to him. Too bad Carol is such a bitch. It'll be interesting to see how you have Rex handle her. *smiles*

i am eagerly anticipating the next section of the King's Creed. Keep up the excellent character building. *smiles*

More please...

In the names of Asimov, Clark, Heinlein, Bradbury and so many others CONTINUE PLEASE?????????????

Cmon bro, gives us something. I just finished reading this for the third time.

Time for an update.

Other than misuse of a few words, this has been a stellar read. I very much look forward to reading more as you're ready.

In the first Jonathan Creed story, the main character gets into his role reluctantly. In this sequel, he is starting to enjoy what he is doing more and more. The same care is given to the development of Sarah from a bratty self-centered narcissistic teen into a totally submissive slave. The story thus far develops these characters with meticulous care, and I love it - the descent into a sort of madness that's pure delightful erotic fantasy. I really look forward to the next chapter of this story.

I love the way your characters have evolved so naturally and wonderfully. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Amazing story! Please continue the series!

.

Yes, this is a particularly bad point to have a cliff hanger when it's been seven months since you've released the last chapter. Loving the story, but the MC just seems to be turning into a cruel person.

I enjoy the way you're slowly explaining the powers of the chip+mind combination. You're a good story teller to be sure. What you don't write about much is sex. The eroticism is there, you've got lots of sexually volatile moments that sort of fizzle. You're not writing for a daytime television show. We want read about the nitty gritty sex they're having.

Thanks for keeping this series going. All I would ask is for more tab A into slot B type filth.

u seriously need to update the story

and it happens to be the best i have ever read(I SWEAR)

These stories are fantastic! Please continue writing. I adore Sarah and cannot wait to find out what happens to Carol. Personally, I hope Jonathan turns into her master

This could be a great stand alone series on a non X rated site.

Looking forward to the next installment.

My schedule has finally got some breathing room. I now have enough time to write every day. I am going to attempt to have this story finished by November 15. Hopefully it will be edited by the 20th, and then posted in short order.

I'm sorry about the wait. You've all been very patient.

NT

This sequel and its parent are categorically the best story I've come across on Literotica in over a year! Please carry on!

Please also run one last review, spell-check, technical FBI check and plot check before submitting.....to ensure the technical presentation is as strong as the overall story.

Love Sarah, great lead character in Jon!

Which I'm told has to do with French language, meaning pretty damned good. I'm sure there are typos and grammar goofs. Those are found in most books on the market. So what!! Great story.. Hot damm it is good.. As was said before this could be the next series for a best seller on the market. Thanks for sharing.. I can only say thanks again. As with others following your work, we're waiting for next part with baited breath. Coneger2

Reread this story and the prequel 3 times in 4 days in anticipation for the next chapter. Checking back every few hours for an update. YOU ARE KILLING ME NT!

Seriously though, it is an amazing story.

Great read, captured all aspects of a brilliant story good job! Must have read this five times now and im dying for the sequel to come out now i absolutely cannot wait!

After giving the manuscript to beta readers, I was given feedback that the ending is...not good. And by that I mean poorly written, rather than simply an unhappy cliff hangar. This might be due to recent family sorrows, and a time of transition in my life.

I've decided to rewrite the ending. Completely. This mean rewriting about fifteen pages worth of material. I will do this over thanksgiving. To make amends, I will offer a sample of the first chapter via email.

Well done, great story line. Looking forward to the next installment! Don't let any detractors get you down-this is not a research paper site. Sometimes good enough is! The story is more than good enough!

Please hurry, we will take it warts hairs and all!

This is a great story and you are a fabulous writer. You do such a great job with the details. I wouldn't end a book the way you did, but I think it is a perfect chapter 1 end. It has me panting for chapter 2. Bravo!

Despite the (fewer) grammar problems, this is MUCH better written and has a much better story line. Great improvement.

This is such a fantastic story and series. Your cliffhangers totally suck but I can't wait to read more! Post soon!

Awesome story. Please let him be in control of himself. And bring us more.

You know, it'd be really great if we could get that next chapter before Christmas...

at least give us a date this is unfair to all who have been waiting for months now.

I too have been waiting to read your next installment. I have really liked this series! Waiting is hard. But what's even more disappointing than waiting is getting a story that's rushed and not the best it can be. Just want to encourage you to do what it takes to make it good! :-) (but hurry! lol). looking forward to it...

i had hoped this would be worthy of the author's other stories and am disappointed to find it is not.

And it's unfinished.

There is nothing better written on this entire site. Now impatiently waiting for Ch.02.

Hope we will have more from you soon! Awesome read!

First an issue I have. I feel like there are parts of the story that don't flow so well. I find that I have to go back and reread some parts because I get lost. Especially during some of the more action packed places. I have to figure out the flow of the events and how the characters got where they are. I hope that makes sense. Done with that!

*****SPOILERS AHEAD*****

I want to know more about the chips! What's happening to John? Who or what the fuck is Rex? Is that some kind of alter ego? But then "The Beast", said he was a repressed part of John.... Could Rex be the chip, like some kind of AI? Oh! Also, what exactly happened that made John repress this other part of himself?

So many questions I have! I can't wait to find out what happens! Anyway, awesome stuff! The fact that John is so intelligent is a complete turn on (even before he was chipped/accepted the other part of himself), and his control makes it all the more delicious.

I truly admire your work and creativity, and your stories are fun and exciting to read! Happy writing you evil, cliff hanging jerk! :P

loved it but no ch 2. and ch 1 was published a year ago?

hope you havent stopped writing, was great,

My schedule has finally got some breathing room. I now have enough time to write every day. I am going to attempt to have this story finished by November 15. Hopefully it will be edited by the 20th, and then posted in short order.

I'm sorry about the wait. You've all been very patient.

NT

All your fans are still sitting on the edge of their chairs waiting for the next chapter Noble_Truth. You couldn't post and give us an idea of when the next chapter may be ready could you.

I am wondering if you will ever complete this story it seems that it has a been a very long time between chapters

Really great writer love all your storys

Have I red all you're stories. They are great, I don't know how you do it, but I read one sentence, and I'm literally pulled in the story. first I was very disappointed that you started writing this story, and didn't continue on celestial wars, but know. Please finish both stories. Cause WOW, they are amazing!!:D

amazing job, you're writing is phenomenal and please continue. Thank you:D

love

Are you going to finish this story one day Noble_Truth or is it going to end up another great but unfinished story as so many do on this and other websites.

Just wondering.

...finish this story, please? I've spent most of today reading the first story, and the last forty-five minutes reading this chapter. It's fascinating, and I'm dying to know how it continues. I mean, this ending wasn't much of a cliff-hanger -- I already knew Jonathan would simply supersede her will through Lydia, and keep her from shooting herself. Though I wonder; does she have a program running like Sarah does? She was clearly emotionally attached to her father as her imprinter, so I figured maybe her attachment would transfer over to Jonathan.

Also, for all that Jonathan seems to dislike The Beast, he's my favorite character. I do have to ask, is Rex the name of The Beast of the name of the chip?

Anyway, this story is awesome, and I'd love to see it continued. Please keep writing if you can. If you can't, it's understandable, because life happens, but I would so dearly love it if you continued. Thank you so much!

Please continue. I beg you. Please.. I kinda.. well.. I'm lusting over Jonathan Creed for a while his always my mind. I want to have a chip like that.. Please

I'm intrigued, I thoroughly enjoy the way you write and that there is always something in the future to look forward to. Thank you.

Please update us all with a progress report, if you would be so kind!

Faithfully - J

I'm anxious to see how this ends up. Kick ass literary work.