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on the shedding of skin

bybutters©
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Comments (5)
by Anonymous

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by Oldbear6302/27/14

I think

I need to read this several more times but it will be worth it.

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by Maria239402/28/14

wow!

good stuff! reminded me a bit of Wicked Eve's talent and that is really saying something; The best poem I have read by you' Keep up the good work

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by twelveoone03/02/14

Oh god

Agree with Maria, Eve-like, and that does say much.
Line 4
I would have found a way the end the line on screams
skin's torn from flesh that screams
or
flesh torn from skin that screams
sort of to highlight meaning and the long E
like the eek sound in leaks

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by Tsotha04/29/14

I remember this one. We were writing about snakes, and skins... Very nice poem, those last three lines hit me in the guts. Oh, and lines 1-2 led me to write a poem, if I remember correctly...

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by butters06/10/14

i completely agree, 12

that line should read 'skin's torn from flesh that screams'. it reads tighter, doesn't compromise on sound, and is just better overall. thankyou.

when they nail you by the head
to the rude rough post

grip tight and peel, so slow,
skin's torn from flesh that screams

exposure burns in freedom's light
and we leak. oh god, how we leak

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