All Comments on 'And The Horse You Rode In On'

Maybe one day there will be a follow up on what happened when the kids read their letters.

A little difficult to follow at times. I didn't like the part about destroying the farm - I know eminent domain has been misused but this case seems far fetched. Also would have liked to see him reconnect with his two children - they were not at fault for their slut mother. Interesting and well written story, though.

I really liked the story. I didn't like that Gerald didn't make more of an effort to find his kids. I understand not doing so right after the divorce because he was broke, hurt, confused and feeling sorry for himself. But after he starting getting those royalty checks he could've hired a PI or a lawyer. He even could've checked with Jim since he has connections. Gerald had no problem with using Jim to find out who wanted to buy his property and behind the fake highway mess.

There are a few things that needs clearing up:

1) What happened to Gerald's son? There doesn't seem much mention of him, the daughter is mentioned more.

2) Did Gerald have help with destroying their old homes?

3) Did Gerald have any kind of custody agreement or did his ex have permanent custody?

Maybe Bernard should really apply for Sainthood.

Seems odd though that he let 7 years pass (3 after the divorce) to realize what he should have done.

You could work on Pacing. 4/5ths of the story is concerned with the slow rolling romance and the minutiae of their day to day lives. Fine for a romance but you had a crisis to resolve, and spent far too little time on that. Also, you spent a lot of time defining Geralds moral and personal character, but at the end revenge was all we got for it. Given the moral character of such a man, he would not have been able to live without resolving his childrens status, especially after the overheard conversation in the diner.

I can only surmise that you were not able to properly define the crisis and a proper resolution, so it wound up in the story with all it's flaws.

It's a good story but needs a re-write to fix the ending.

Still, it was worth reading.

Anonymous Andy

Hell! Why did you try to spoil the mood ... "Fine for a romance but you had a crisis to resolve, and spent far too little time on that. Also, you spent a lot of time defining Geralds moral and personal character"? The story flowed as Gerald was a thoughtful person. He had time on his hands to plan his steps, because of how he was cheated out of a marriage / family.

This is a "5".

Great story!!.......I only have one small criticism and that was, I was hoping Gerald would have some sort of resolution concerning his two children.

Well told, sometimes tediously, but nonetheless well told and concluded. I give you a 5 but you need an editor to clean up the niggling grammar problems, mainly tense and plurals. I edit and would be glad to help.

I liked the story and thought the flow was matched to the characters. Keep writing your own way. Good Luck

I thought it was just an excellent story. I'll certainly read more of your offerings.

This is a great story but like a few other commentators I feel some sort of resolution with his children is needed. Now that they know he is alive I would expect them to track him down or find out some information about him from the neighbours.

A scene where they come face to face would make this a brilliant story as without it I cannot help but feel that he has still lost. Some resolution with his offspring please!

I look forward to reading your next contribution to this site.

I thought it was illegal to remove Children from a state without approval from both parents. If the wife and her new husband had tried that, shouldn't they have been charged with something?

What a great story. Nice characters and kept my attention for the whole 17 pages. Grammar errors are ok.. main aim is to get the story across and you certainly did that. We all need a friend like Gerald. Thought the ending was a bit rushed.. the daughter finding the letters and the quick end of the marriage of his ex wife.

I kept hoping during this seemingly endless slog something would happen, really, really hoping.

Somehow, before the saga began, Gerald went through a traumatizing divorce but we know almost none of the details before, during, or after and the reasons for the breakup. Instead we learned that Gerald was a generalist who tutored 3rd and 4th graders in math using the bean method, baked bread, couldn't make round buns so he reshaped the hamburger patties, grew a garden, tore down old buildings reusing the materials or selling them for firewood or scrap, loved pizza and tacos so much he even had taco pizzas, and made bean salad, all for cash. He practically lived with his next door neighbor and her daughter for 6 years yet she had to ask him out on a date even though they had often shared rooms but not beds. And this dragged on and on for nearly 10 years.

Then suddenly they lost their homes to a crooked land scheme, we discovered he had very large sums of money in secret bank accounts, they disappeared without a trace to the same place they went back to several different years, and where they were married, were on the public records as staff, but no one could find them? Breaking off all ties with family and friends while in contact with Gwen's daughter?

As other have mentioned, I too am troubled by his inability to find his own children while being the perfect father to his neighbors daughter. When when he sees his wife on the news and knows where his family is, he does nothing to get in touch with them except ask Jim to make a call? I'm sorry but with as high a profile as the new husband (the Boss) of his ex had, a simple google search would have yielded enough to find them if he wanted to. Even at the very end he makes no effort to reach out to them, becoming instead a recluse.

The only thing that was left hanging is what became of his own children.

George in Omaha

Great story weaving. 5*

On the kids thing, but then there is always the the option for a second story, or hang it out there for someone else to wrap up.

Yes it is long, but then it is in the novels / novella category so get over it, and yes an editor and or proof reader would help. Don't take the negative comments too seriously, especially from anonymous commentators. Until they have had the experience of a simple story getting away and turning into a novel they have no basis to talk... mine turned into two long series... LOL

Great story - thoroughly enjoyable.

I have to tell you just one thing : sequel !

You sir are a quality writer. After reading several of your story's it is apparent that you know how to tell a great story. I intend to read all of your stuff and to enjoy all of your work. Thanks for all the enjoyment you have given me. I have only one suggestion for you, find yourself a quality editor to check your spelling and grammar more closely. The only flaw in what I have read is having to stop and determine what you had really meant to put down and then go on. Thanks again

A most enjoyable read! Don't do a sequel, just tell another story just as good.

I did not care for the abandoning of his own kids. They were a to hard!! So he wrote them off. What a father. So yes I lowered my vote.

This is more like two different stories that are grafted together.

In the first there is the "boss" that is a shady fly-by-night con-man with his schemes to put up toxic waste facilities at others expense and his profit, who moves often and without any forwarding address to avoid legal troubles.

Then there is the "boss" that is a political candidate, which seems incompatible with his earlier nearly criminal life and his wife and step-childrens behavior.

Gerald was left broken and broke by his wife's betrayal and the divorce which took most of his resources beyond that needed to survive.

He did not have the money or personal skill to track his children (see fly-by-night above)

By the time he had the resources to do it he had another life and realized that his children having been raised by the ex and the "boss" were lost to him.

As they were told that he was dead he had not been part of their lives.

Cinco Estrellas, hermano!

You have created an excellent story with very good character and plot development. I would suggest finding an editor/proofreader to help with the very few word choice/tense problems. I really liked this one and think the length really allowed for better story development. Please keep up the good work. 5*

I loved the story of Gerald, Gwen, Cherilyn, Jenny, Jim and Pam. All the details about developing a farm, teaching kids and parenting made me sure that you really are (or were) a Texas farmboy, as well as a teacher and a parent. The characters were all good and lovable people, and it was a joy to read about how they built good lives for themselves (even though their total rejection of government assistance seemed quite ideological, in retrospect).

The story of Gerald's first wife, his first two children and the man who ruined the first period of Gerald's adult life, however, was not as enjoyable. I kept hoping that Gerald would eventually go and find his children and bring them home, legally or otherwise, before their lives were totally screwed up by the bad parenting and wretched examples given them by their mother and stepfather--- but he did not. In the beginning, of course, Gerald didn't have the money or the free time to go searching for them, but later, he could have, and did not. This was a great disappointment, to me. Also, the changes in the "boss's" career were somewhat unbelievable, especially his move to become governor of a state which he had not lived in for years, after pursuing wealth elsewhere by illegitimate means and doubtless acquiring a dubious reputation.

Whatever became of Gerald's original son and daughter? We don't know. Why are the first wife and the first children, as well as the "boss," practically nameless? It's a mystery. More attention to such details, as well as to the proper use of English pronouns, would have made "...And the Horse You Rode In On" an even better story. I enjoyed it anyway.

I am amazed!

I am amazed how there was no actual sexual activity in a story residing on a sexual site.

I enjoyed reading about how someone so screwed over by his "loving wife" and by life in general stayed so positive.

But, I guess I am the most impressed by the concern shown by the author and even more so the comments about the welfare of ALL the children in the story.

We may be a bunch of dirty minded men and women but care and concern for all kids seem to be a major issue for just about everyone. I seriously doubt pedophiles enjoyed this heart warming tale.

ok.....time to get back to dirty men....and women lol

never mind all the detracrors who think you should have developed the plot this way or that way, who cares it was a great story ,i thourougly enjoyed it ---5 stars only because i couldn't give it more. thank you for the pleasure and enjoyment that your story brought me .

kindest regards

tantalise

Just read the story and it was great. That is someone making lemonade. Definately worth a 5. I'll be looking for more.

Thank you for a most enjoyable and uplifting story. This reinforces the inner feelings for most of us about doing good and being good to make things matter in this world. The core values of love, trust, honesty and communication are so inherently needed but missing in a lot of people's lives. Outstanding piece of work. A toast and salute to for a fine, fine effort!!!

too long. too many loose ends. no revenge on the ex, no closure with the kids. the evil villain last plan was just lame.

A very good read, little long, but had the key element . . . the greatest revenge is living well. There is no greater insult than to ignore an offender. This guy took a crap done to him and lived life on his terms, did what made him happy. He blossomed where he was planted.

The negative to the story is no closure with his own kids, no ability to recover the damage done by his evil ex-spouse. The kids turned out bad due to bad influence, not their own choices. It would have nice to find a way to get them back and help them have a decent life.

Even better would have been some sort of "just desserts" for the evil ex-wife.

I liked the story, the well developed characters and the overall plot. I did see too many loose ends, especially concerning Gerald's kids and the ending was too rushed.

A very good story.Please keep writing and posting here

By the time I realized it wasn't a sex romp, I was too invested in the story to care. You're certainly guilty of a few literary sins with how everything ended up nice and neat, but I think I was too busy enjoying it to really notice. Thank you for writing this.

A very long story. At times I was frustrated at the pace, but it picked ups towards the end. Overall I enjoyed the story and your writing.

A good read. Interesting, even if not erotic. Too long; needed chapters

A good story.

Ignore the naysayer's. Wonderful story. Thank you

nothing more needs to be said.

Thank you for this story.

AWESOME!

it would have been nice to know if his children ever got their shit together...

Couldn't care less about his slut of an ex...

Oh, BTW, loved the story...

Good story. Enjoyed the read. Gerald is truly a renaissance man but I don't think I could have gone seven years without sex.

Decent story, but way too longwinded with little actually happening, and some loose threads such as what happened to his first children not really explored.

It would be a better story if it was tightened up and cut down to around 10 pages.

As several others have noted, it would have been nice to follow up on Gerald's kids from his first marriage. I would like to have seen their reaction when they read the letters, and if they ever got in touch with him.

Thanks for a great story.

I didn't like the plot change where his ex-wife decided that she wanted his farm. The ex-wife is rich now so she is use to large expensive houses. She wouldn't want a small farm house. She would want a large house with expensive fixtures and a pool. So you lost me there. Also there is no explanation why his old boss was caught by the police. He had also sorts of important political connections. They would protect him since he would have dirt on them. So you kind of lost reality in the last part of this story.

Other commentators bring up some good points. However, overall the is a pretty good story, an enjoyable and entertaining read.

Strongest dislike was making his 2 children

Collateral Damage

I will say it again, I REALLY enjoy your stories. They hold me from the beginning all the way thru to the end!

...But I have to say that the plot device where the ex-wife wants his farm rang hollow. I think it would have been more plausible if the ex-wife's hubby tried to screw Gerald over again because Gerald derailed the congressman's bid for the farm legislation.

As for the ex-wife to suddenly find out that her hubby was returning Gerald's letters and then dumping new hubby so she can mend fences with her daughter just rang false. She had to know Gerald was writing and be on board with the story that Gerald was dead.

A bigger question for me was why Gerald never spent a penny trying to track down/contact his children. He obviously could have hired any decent search firm to find them. After all, their step daddy was a big shot politico running for Governor...not exactly low profile.

Still in all it was a fun read.

It was a good story overall but had some areas which were tough to digest, most of which have been pointed out by many. What irked me most was that the ex wife never got her comeuppance!

Why are so many here speaking of the missing issue of his two children? Because it's a massive hole in the story and a real shame. Doesn't mean there has to be a future with them, but it absolutely does need closure on some level for the story to ring true. He painstakingly and in tears wrote letters to them continually for years and then ends with a pretty much dismissive line. With the smarts and ingenuity this character was given, there's no way he wouldn't have been able to at least have contact for closure. Ruins it really, although I enjoyed the read until that never happened.

have a nephew who was 4 children by different mothers .they took their kids & went no telling where . love the story & the ending

Great story just think you missed bringing his children further into the story especially as what happened would not have been their fault. Maybe another chapter?

Yes there were some spelling and word errors. So what. That kind of thing can be fixed with a good editor. The story was awesome. Great character development. I think the decision not to bring his duped children in made the story more believable. Keep it up!

Sincerely

The Infamous Anonymous

Was a good story but not great. One big hole is his two kids Denise/Rick. Denise finds the two boxes of letters outside the raised home and learns the truth about her father being alive - but she never seeks to find her bio father. No follow up in Denise reading the letters and finding the 'return to sender', etc??? Now that Gerald knows of his Ex's name/location/etc he does not try one last time to make contact with the kids. It just does not follow Gerald's Boy Scout good-man story persona.

I'm glad to see another writer who does not need to write the sex details and finds 'less is more'!

I think the story was a little too verbose and could have tighten up and dumped the redundant minutia - it was still fun and fulfilling. Hooyah, salute!

took a while but finally pushed back . state paid for land only ! glad he got to screw his old boss but in spades L M A O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I agree with some of the earlier comments about typos, etc but they don't affect the overall enjoyment. Thought there might have been more detail at the end after the long, slow burning start, eg what happened with his 2 kids but perhaps they were really to damaged to be saved?? None of this detracts from a very enjoyable read with lots of detail and tender parts. Well done

I enjoyed the story. Once started I was drawn into it and had to follow it to the end. I too thought that some issues weren't resolved. I did think that there were a bunch of grammar issues. There were way too many "ands". Being a Seattleite, I could relate to the locations at the end. I know pretty much where they would have settled. Not having a lot eroticism was fine.

It's too bad that there are not more than five rating stars.

Too bad for his children. For once he decides to do something about his situation and what is it? "I'll rescue my children"? No, it's "I'll fuck up their stepfather and finally forget about them".

Not the best role model, is he? Yes, he did good things and helped other, but only when it was comfortable for him. He never actually made an extra effort or a sacrifice for anybody.

5* and favorited!

A very enjoyable read. As a former Seattleite I picked up on the locations. I liked the hero, the heroine, and their family and friends. Thanks for sharing!

Read it again....Loved it again

5 Stars. Some writing errors. The only negative was not making an effort to contact and help his bio-kids. They did not abandon him, they were told lies and their new life messed them up. They needed his help.

Gwen was a little slow in dragging Gerald into bed. I felt they were both missing out on physical intimacy for too long. Felt unnatural given their obvious love, the loving family dynamic and all three’s stellar compatibility .

Great story, a few flaws, but it pulls the emotions around, anger to love!!

Great love story that began after Gerald had his fateful divorce. The storyline flowed well and in the end the phrase "Fuck you and the horse you rode" in on took great meaning as revenge is best delivered cold. His former boss got his just deserves by being sent to prison, but it was unfortunate that the ex-wife didn't get punished for her deceitful ways. One other thing that didn't have closure was his daughter and Son who had been lied to by the mother, that never was explained. Story was well written and had great character development. Well done 5++stars

Good story/ 5*

Well written with a beautiful storyline. I must say the revenge was epic and so out of character Gerald being who he is. Everyone except for the Ex-wife got what they deserved. I would have liked a bit more background on Gerald's older children after they found the letters. That would have been nice.

Good story, but had a few faults, the largest being as a lot of people have commented, that there should have been a reconnection or follow up on his first children, there was also no info re Jim running for Congress, I can’t believe that as good a friends as they were they wouldn’t have stayed in touch with Jim & Pam. It’s faults like this along with the odd narrative style that marks this story down a couple of stars, 3⭐️ but should have been more.

I enjoyed this story and couldn't put it down until finished. I rated it a five despite the several grammatical errors that upset the flow of reading.

While I agree with many others that it's sad that Gerald did not try to reach out to his children in later years, I can completely understand him not doing so...however easy it might have been as his former boss was apparently a Public Figure. That said, Gerald did make multiple attempts to reconnect with his kids early in the story and was rebuffed by his former boss and/or ex-wife. At some point, I think it was emotionally healthy to grieve the loss and move on with his life.

Nevertheless, I applaud Gerald continuing to write and save letters to his children. I thought it was touching that he wrote one final letter the day before the land sale and made all of the letters accessible...to be found eventually by his daughter. That may have been Gerald's final act of closure required to honor his pledge to Gwen that he'd completely let go of his previous life once they sold the farm and moved on.

Whether his children will attempt to reach out to him or not is part of the allure of reading fiction...it allows us each to finish the story as we think is appropriate. That said, I doubt it will occur anytime soon as Gerald did a marvelous job of seemingly to disappear from the face of the earth for several years...probably because he correctly guessed that his former boss would vindictively try to find and destroy him.

Thank you, Texas Farm Boy, for a great story. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Overall a very good story, well written, engaging and enjoyable. My only problem with it (and the reason for 4 stars) is that the author rewarded the ex-wife with (in her view) a perfect life, with zero retribution or downsides.

I am on the fence about his own kids - I understand the in-story reasons he would not connect to them later as last comment said; and honestly, it made the story fresh and interesting even more. Yes it's a "loose end" thread but so what? In my opinion doesn't detract from the story.

I enjoyed this story, but can not get past the glaring issue - Gerald’s biological children. A man who cares enough to write them letters every week isn’t going to greet the news that the kids are a druggie and a whore with just a shrug. But it goes beyond that…the Internet exists it the story, so it’s not like he couldn’t track them down any time he wanted, and yet, for all his positive pressure on others, he just lets that fester? I couldn’t reconcile that with the rest of Gerald’s character.

The whole thing with the house was a bit off too…I’m sure imminent domain has been used corruptly in the past but I have a hard time believing that Gerald wouldn’t speak to a reporter or ask someone to investigate why a property so far away from the project was included.

As mentioned by several other reviewers, the story is riddled with misspellings, typos, and grammatical issues. This is a free publication site, so I don’t expect perfection, but the author could use an editor.

With all that said, I read the whole thing and enjoyed it. I’d read more from this author!

Fantastic and clever storey, I agree with the comments below about the grammar and spelling, but for me this did not detract. However to my mind the glaring fault with this storey on the LITEROTICA site is that there was no erotica, unbelievable that after they got engaged they did sleep in the same room but in seperate beds, REALLY!!! So only ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ from me.

Only improvement would have been rescuing his own kids or at least building a relationship with them..

Agree w/the comments about Gerald's own kids. That does NOT fit with the spirit being depicted.

All other criticism is unwarranted IMO. This site is kept running by volunteering contributors. Gift horse you rode in on..

Tx very much ma'am/sir author