Emma's Surprise Shower Guest

Take that shit mom...

The next chapter the mom should be bound and gagged while having to watch father and daughter fuck and berate her. lol

Pill

Hope she's on the pill. Clearly not a virgin. Given Mom's attitude towaards her, she'd have to find another way to get a pill prescription.

I just bet she loved fucking daddy behind her bitch mother's back. I know he did!

Nice one

I liked that, a little bit of love, a little bit of rough, and just a hint of a bitch mom. What more could you want,

:)

Thanks for the kind words and feedback - they are really appreciated :)

Not at all bad........

but sort out the basic spelling mistakes, they just eat away at your credibility.

Yeah understood...I had to compose this story completely in an email draft so I've learned how much I depend on spell check. Sometimes when you know what you were trying to write your eyes just skip over the mistakes...

Great.

I like the word "you" instead of dad or daddy. Gives it some connection I can't even explain. Kind of poetic really.

wow

that was so damn awesum..plz continue..loved the light domination part

Not sure about this one

You are trying and I appreciate your attempt at your stories this being the second. If you are trying to express your desires and fantasy for your father I find the expressions sexually enticing but how you are expressing them is lacking sincerity. This is only my opinion and I surely am not an expert.

You definitely have a talent for writing erotic stories... Please keep it UP!!!

Keep writing, and take the story forward with your other father/daughter experiences...

amazing really hot

This is exactly what I want MN you dad to do to me. I'm stacy18_bi@hotmail.com if you wanna hit me up.

Daddy love

Could I be your daddy for a week or more?

I would love to be your daddy

Good story, I would live to taste your pretty little pussy for an hour or two

Learn the difference between your and you're. Look into possessives as in daughter's not daughters.

I'm not buying the excuse that you just tossed this off in an email and that's why your writing is so bad. That would account for true typos, not an obvious ignorance of basic English grammar.

This sounds like a sleazy fuck dressed up to seem like erotica. Just like your style is crap writing trying to be some sort of artful fiction. Everything is a cliche.

You should start a blog instead of "writing" for literotica. My blog of how I fucked my sleazy dad. Did I mention I have a pussy and I really like to fuck? But Im also a "writer". Im an artist!

Grow up. Leave the erotica to the adults.

To Anonymous

First, let me finish laughing.

Whew! Ok, I feel better now. Thanks for youR deconstructive criticism.

I never claimed this be art. You'RE totally right that it'S a sleazy fuck story. That's what it is because that is what I wanted it to be.

I would take a lesson in true craft and story construction, as well as perfect grammar and spelling, from you BUT it seems you'RE anonymous and doN'T contribute at all.

Please feel free to go fuck youRself because I'm positive it's the only fucking you'LL be doing.

Have a great day! xoxox

ooooooooo

DAT is some cold as fuck shit!!!! 😊😊😊😊😊😊😂😂😂😂😂
Totally agree with you girl.
DAT bitch ain't got nothing on you😊
You are an amazing writer and all it is is that girl wishes she made an awesome story like youRs😂😂
BTW
So true!!!
Loved the story☺
BTW also
My name is Leann😊

hot story, love the POV

hot story, love the POV

Nicely done

and with the right amount of fervor.

Fuck the spelling/grammar. I loved the story!

Don't use spellcheck. It cannot understand context, and it will fuck you up. Spellcheck is ok, sort of, for good spellers who mistype and can tell when spellcheck fucks up. If you care about this (no reason you should, but if you do) get an editor friend to fix it - piss easy for the editor, if a natural speller. Some, like me, just don't misspell. Others, as intelligent, well educated, literary, striving for "correctness", just can't. It's a brain function you may or may not have. It cannot be learned. You may be like my wife. As educated as me, but harder working and way smarter. But can't spell, and misunderstands grammar. So, I spell/fix for her when she needs it.
You have a gift for writing. You may need help with the mechanics, if you wish.
I'd love to show this story to my sweetie - but she's too fucking straight, as well as being the mother of our (now 28 year old) daughter!
I loved the story. Extremely fucking hot. I've been there, as the dad, in my dreams. I'll read everything you write.

Grammar and spelling

They ruined this story! Proofread!

Who's "they" again? Please clarify?