All Comments on 'Hadley's Cherry'

You really are a great writer.

I love the way this story flowed and the way you wrote of the young woman's deflowering was just a pleasure unto itself. It will be intriguing to see what if anything you do further with Hadley. I love Miss Scarlett as well.

I have always wondered what it would be like to watch a gymnast nude, thanks for writing.

Great writing and great story!

Oh, yeah, we are in need of a part 2! Bravo!

I hope you write another chapter this was very good

Stopped reading at the 9" cock! A huge cock does not a story make.

While I'm sure it was a good story I get so tired of writers thinking that a huge cock or tits makes the story.

Thank you for reading and for your great feedback! I am definitely planning to do another story with these characters soon (to be released sometime in the next few weeks,) and I'll make sure Scarlet has a cameo ;)

It was a very good story. I particularly enjoyed the petit girl with A cups. I get tired of the triple E breasts. I enjoy reality much more than the factious sizes. Then you had a brain fart and gave the man a fence post for a penis. I was taken back by that. But all and all it was a good story and fairly well written. I am looking forward to the sequel.

Make sure Hadley gets another hot spanking. Young girls need spankings. But then so do older girls!

1. No description(dimensions and all - lol) of the parents which produced an exquisite daughter.

2. Past Tense / Present Tense confusion

3. Need a chapter 2

4. I read your comments on the board. I think it's great that you wrote it with a guy having a big dick and the guy is being divorced because a woman can't stand that he has a big dick and other women are using it. Normally, she's ok with his 'adventures' because it hurts her or he always wants it or whatever. STOP listening to the old guys who can't deal.

thanks and waiting for part 2

Sam

PS I'm a guy and don't have 9 inches (thank god) I have 11 inches(5.5 inches on the IN stroke and 5.5 on the OUT stroke - THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STUCK WITH IT ---- LMAO)

Ignore the negative anonymous posters & those that have never submitted their own stories (Averygoodlay especially). I think it's his life's work to find every story on literotica that has a character with an 8"+ dick and post that he hated the story specifically because the character had a big dick.

Until Averygoodlay writes his dream story about a little-dicked character fucking a homely looking woman...he and the other assholes can fuck off.

Thanks for all your feedback! A new edit is up, fixing the tense issue. Enjoy!

So so so good!

I Really liked it! I gave it a four, would have been a five but the 'getting fucked like a whore' comment just flat turned me off :/. ...thats just me though, but it seemed out of place, kinda like using fucktoy when its her first time having sex, hell first date/boyfwb seems... Odd...

Im nitpicking, heh, bring on the next chapter :)

I loved the story!!! I only disliked the very last line, took away from what seemed to be sweet protective feelings developing for the girl. Please continue the story!

Continue with the taking of her anal virginity, it's the logical next step!

Pretty romantic story

Thanks for sharing.

Incredible story. I love your characters! I'm so excited you wrote a sequel so I can read more!

the Hadley stories are SO HOT. I think I've read this one like 20 times. I'm a super fan lol. Please write more! I love these characters and want them to have more adventures! Thank you, Totalknockout!!!

until you brought out the 9 inch cock let the air out so to speak.

Good job, well written

Please write more

I would love to experience this, but with the positions reversed

I'm a boy

What guy pulls out of a female's cunt or ass or mouth in order to blow his load on her stomach, face, tits, wherever. Doesn't happen. Guy comes, he comes where's he's in. Best feeling in the world. Can't believe that so many of these writers adapt what they see on video porn to the written word. I'm switching writers, again (sigh).

there should be a better description of the girl's slender build than her bra size

the nine inch cock seems to be no problem to the virgin -- certainly not one who had an orgasm the first time she had cunnilingus

this story contains most of the cliches about defloration:

the girl comes from anal play as well as oral and vaginal (with a guy she met briefly the night before) although her experience was just about nil (one blowjob given out of curiosity)

"fucked like a whore" means something to the author, I guess - Hadley's second act of sexual intercourse, first time with rear entry, and she is playing the role of (presumably well experienced) prostitute I find it a little hard to square Hadley's innocence which Jack finds so attractive to cold blooded professionalism

And - as so often happens in teen age fantasies such as this - the woman has an impossibly long vagina (Jack is nine inches deep and still not isn't giving her cervix a bruising) and she had a displaced hymen [the anatomists all agree that the hymen is at the entrance to the vagina]

The story would have had possibilities if her parents had been using Hadley as a bribe and Jack had been trying (albeit unsuccessfully) to reconcile with his wife - and it turns out the Hadley was no virgin at all although playing the role to Jack - then Jack gets blackmailed into delivering the promotion

THAT would have been an interesting story cliche free

To answer your question: A guy who has the presence of mind not to want to impregnate a teenager.

Just to inform you non believers but sometimes us guys do pull out especially if our woman likes us too. Lastly for those picking the story apart give the writer a chance, he wrote this to entertain. It may not be totally perfect but so what , I plan to read the rest of the story as it was written. By the way if you dont like it dont complain but kindly suggest. Totalknockout keep on writing so far its a likable story.

would give it a 5 if he came inside her both times. I HATE pullouts!

I really hope you continue the story, it has so many possibilities.

Thanks.

I would think the hardest part to write in this story would have been an "innocent" girl being brave enough to telephone an older guy making it quite plain that she wanted him to "take her" Great story. *****

One of the best stories I`ve read so far on here. It`s so refreshing to know that others use their imagination and want more than just a basic fuck in their fantasies.

I think that is the sexiest story I have enjoyed on literotica. Fully deserves the 5 stars. Wish I could give more.

Fantastic story! Loved it! What I would give to be a young lady and have fun again!

This is literally one of the very best erotica ive read, I intended to compose a 400-word essay to compliment your writing but realized it was not necessary as u probably is already too damn smug from being so good already.

Well written story, but I'd change a couple things. Toward the end, there is mention of fucking her like a whore. That was disappointing because up till then, Jack acted like he cared about Hadley's feelings, and had wanted her because of her freshness and innocence. It was even mentioned that he noticed and found Scarlet's sexy appearance to be practiced and unreal in a way; even though he enjoyed it. If he felt that way about Scarlet, why reduce Hadley to "fucking like a whore"? Also, much was made of Hadley's lithe tight gymnast's body. So It was surprising that the strength of her legs was never a factor in gripping his torso to his enjoyment.

Early in the story several lines were devoted to saying Hadley had little interest in boys. Then it is disclosed she had sucked one boy's cock and seen the cocks of a couple others along with kissing a few guys. That is not the actions of a girl with "no interest". The time she devoted to gymnastics may have left her little time for boys (as was also stated) but that is not the same as NO Interest.

Also, I realize the story is written by the author to satisfy his own fetishes about taking a virgin. However, I suspect many other readers besides myself, would have enjoyed Hadley using her gymnastics skills and flexibility to milk and pleasure Jack's cock - doing splits and various contortions while impaled on it.

Jack's appreciation of Hadley and concern for her, except for the "whore" reference already mentioned, was made more dramatic by the cynicism he displayed for everyone else in the story: specifically Hadley's mother and father, his soon to be ex-wife, and his secretary Scarlet. This was vital to developing Jack's personality as a "user of others" and made Hadley's deflowering more dramatic.

Well written story, but I'd change a couple things. Toward the end, there is mention of fucking her like a whore. That was disappointing because up till then, Jack acted like he cared about Hadley's feelings, and had wanted her because of her freshness and innocence. It was even mentioned that he noticed and found Scarlet's sexy appearance to be practiced and unreal in a way; even though he enjoyed it. If he felt that way about Scarlet, why reduce Hadley to "fucking like a whore"? Also, much was made of Hadley's lithe tight gymnast's body. So It was surprising that the strength of her legs was never a factor in gripping his torso to his enjoyment.

Early in the story several lines were devoted to saying Hadley had little interest in boys. Then it is disclosed she had sucked one boy's cock and seen the cocks of a couple others along with kissing a few guys. That is not the actions of a girl with "no interest". The time she devoted to gymnastics may have left her little time for boys (as was also stated) but that is not the same as NO Interest.

Also, I realize the story is written by the author to satisfy his own fetishes about taking a virgin. However, I suspect many other readers besides myself, would have enjoyed Hadley using her gymnastics skills and flexibility to milk and pleasure Jack's cock - doing splits and various contortions while impaled on it.

Jack's appreciation of Hadley and concern for her, except for the "whore" reference already mentioned, was made more dramatic by the cynicism he displayed for everyone else in the story: specifically Hadley's mother and father, his soon to be ex-wife, and his secretary Scarlet. This was vital to developing Jack's personality as a "user of others" and made Hadley's deflowering more dramatic.

This guy was very lucky to pound a virgin. He should have tity fucked her but as I was reading this it mentioned she had small tits.

11/10 Vertical Splits!!!!!

Superb nicely crafted story. I laughed at some of the critics I've had then myself. if you want a different story write it yourself, and see how hard it is . You might like my own story Feedback, some similarities,wink wink. My last virgin sleeps next to me!

I really wish there was more!

Anal, especially untagged anal, really turned this into a disappointment at the end, as well as made me doubt the 'monster cock' tag, if you put it in a virgin ass that easily. Started out good, then went downhill by page three.

Very Very exciting, I wish I had a a 30 yrs man to had break my cherry when I was 18 years old and may be I would have had a baby by now. Keep writing these kind of stories. More about Hadley and Jake.

This is the first of your stories I've read. Enjoyed it immensely. On to the next one,

Keep writing these kind of stories. I want to know if Hadley and James kept on fucking.