i really liked this start to the story. you captured the intensity and the intricacies of the cyber-to-real-life metamorphosis and it was beautiful to read.
i especially appreciated how you made the Master in this story really *listen* to his girl, understand where she's coming from, and find a workable solution, even though, technically speaking, she 'disobeyed his direct order', and even though he was somewhat irritated. it felt real.
the only thing i did not love as much is the style - it was a bit too sophisticated for me. i'm a simple girl, i prefer simple, straightforward writing. you do it extraordinarily well in LU so i know this different styling is intentional, and i'm sure there would be others who'd disagree with me on this point... a matter of taste, i guess :)
anyways very good start and i'd love to read more about them - but NOT at the expense of LU! (and btw - what about John... still thinking of that one, too).
This story is a done deal....no more to be said for these two so fear not :) While in a way I enjoyed writing in this style I found it quite draining.
I wrote it as a creative writing exercise when I was challenged by a reader to write something without any graphic sex and to be as flowery as I could be without losing focus or just using words for the sake of it - that person is still not buying that the Dom would just walk up and push himself against her spine in a public place and also commented that He spoke like He was from the middle ages - so some people are just not for pleasing! :D I thought I'd run it up the flagpole here and see if anyone saluted!
It was one of my ideas for John's next chapter so my mind is still on him and you'll love the next LU as we get the story of Suzy and Niall & he's a douche bag of an entirely different kind.......
Finally I'm so pleased that you feel able to give me your honest thoughts on this, I do value all feedback and like you I prefer more realistic dialogue. Thanks again for your candour.
English
so erotic.......
This prose made me hard, a perfect snapshot of what D/s should be about. The lack of graphic sexual reference only enhanced the experience
almost missed it! so glad i didn't :)
hey @Plusher,
i really liked this start to the story. you captured the intensity and the intricacies of the cyber-to-real-life metamorphosis and it was beautiful to read.
i especially appreciated how you made the Master in this story really *listen* to his girl, understand where she's coming from, and find a workable solution, even though, technically speaking, she 'disobeyed his direct order', and even though he was somewhat irritated. it felt real.
the only thing i did not love as much is the style - it was a bit too sophisticated for me. i'm a simple girl, i prefer simple, straightforward writing. you do it extraordinarily well in LU so i know this different styling is intentional, and i'm sure there would be others who'd disagree with me on this point... a matter of taste, i guess :)
anyways very good start and i'd love to read more about them - but NOT at the expense of LU! (and btw - what about John... still thinking of that one, too).
xoxo
thanks STG.....
This story is a done deal....no more to be said for these two so fear not :) While in a way I enjoyed writing in this style I found it quite draining.
I wrote it as a creative writing exercise when I was challenged by a reader to write something without any graphic sex and to be as flowery as I could be without losing focus or just using words for the sake of it - that person is still not buying that the Dom would just walk up and push himself against her spine in a public place and also commented that He spoke like He was from the middle ages - so some people are just not for pleasing! :D I thought I'd run it up the flagpole here and see if anyone saluted!
It was one of my ideas for John's next chapter so my mind is still on him and you'll love the next LU as we get the story of Suzy and Niall & he's a douche bag of an entirely different kind.......
Finally I'm so pleased that you feel able to give me your honest thoughts on this, I do value all feedback and like you I prefer more realistic dialogue. Thanks again for your candour.
Ahh
Nice. Well done.
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