Bringing Freddy in was a bad mistake. Completely ruined the story. I finished the story, but it just didn't get better after Freddy was brought into the fold. Sorry, no votes for this one.
I voted and left you a comment after reading your last chapter and told you I felt you made a big mistake by including Frederick in this story that he wasn't even related and being a Dom , his words. How can you have two Doms for a start.I think not..and suggested that you don't include him in this chapter. Michael was the main character The One AND ONLY DOM.. And his mother and sister was his and his alone SUBS......Frederick character in this story for me ruined this story and was totally unnecessary ...Sorry for the first time ever... NO VOTES
by
Anonymous01/10/16
I think this story is really great! Don't listen to all the people hating on you. It's YOUR story, so YOU can write whatever you want. If they cared that much, they could just write their own. Job well done!! :)
by
Anonymous02/07/16
I agree
I don't think the freind should be a Dom over the mother or sister but should ask permission from Michael
It's been a year since my sister and I read this story, and we have to say it still gives us the hots, especially where daughters can Dom their moms, if only for a short time. And yes, Freddie is incidental to the story; he's not a full fledged dom, so he should ask permission, not as a sub but as a friend, of Michaels.
Keep up the good work!
5 stars, two thumbs up!
Cupcake and Kandi
I lovede how you turned everything around for the daughter sister. I found the story to be a good one from start to finish very much. For those that are telling you how to write a story need to write their own story the way they think it should be wrote, and not tell some one how to write a story when they don't have any idea as to how to write one them selves. This is a great read, thank you.
by
Anonymous04/23/16
Something to think about
Fredrick was introduced much too soon...if at all. The Fredrick aspect in this story makes it very unrealistic for a number of reasons...that I am sure you would have been aware of. It would be interesting to know the reasons why Fredrick was included...
by
Anonymous05/31/16
you seriously fucked it up
you f ucked it up by adding frederick , and you fucked it up by breaking the rule of that a pet can only have one master and seriously the fact that the friend joined made me alt f4 and killed my boner
by
Anonymous06/07/16
Disturbing Bromance going on
Between Fred and Michael. Michael almost seems submissive to his friend. Who is really in control here? They all seem to jump from being 'master' to 'sub' every other paragraph. Masters are supposed to be commanding and confident, yet all seem insecure more than anything else. This just didn't work. You cannot have two masters. The story would have been so much better without Fred. Besides being an extra cock for two very short dp scenes, his continued addition to the story is pointless. What purpose does he serve, apart from being an irritating distraction? If you wanted Michael to share with his geeky friend, it should have been only with permission and never with Fred being in charge.
This would have been an awesome story without his needless and pointless addition.
by
Anonymous06/07/16
What's next?
Are you going to have the immature boy-dom master every woman in the entire state? Every woman on earth? He comes across as needing permission to tie his shoe laces, yet here he is, ordering an obvious dominant personality onto her knees and she of course obeys? Unlikely at best. It's a repeating theme that lets many stories down on lit. Nerdy boy commands a harem, made up of EVERY woman he ever meets.
1. Entire towns or cities are NOT populated with hoardes of submissive women.
2. Immature and insecure boys are not believable doms.
3. The character of the sub mom, actually comes across as the dominant one, directing her son in how to 'own' her and reassuring him at every turn.
4. Doms rarely, or never, have or require more than one pet. Having him build up a harem of submissive women (who are written as confident and powerful dommes,BTW) at every turn removes any sense of believability. It comes across as Michael's shcoolboy's wet dream instead, and we are just waiting for him to wake up with a wet spot at any moment.
Clearly from the range of comments you understand you aren't going to be able to please everyone. I liked every nuance and turn of this story. Fredrick is a perfect secondary character. Fredrick's Mom, Crystal's college girlfriends, and Mrs. Hanna are all topics worthy of complete chapters. Ms Addison and the lesbians can make for some interesting content as well. You are ready for authorship if you can continue this level of plot. Well done Silk. Cordially, Paladin
by
Anonymous06/24/16
Bad move keeping Frederick in the story, one star.
An absolutely fantastic series. You could; easily; continue by moving on to Fredericks mother. I am certain that an author of your calibre could formulate a tale of inter-familial incest. A sexual pentangle, so to speak. Love your work, please keep them; and us; coming. Cheers, Den
by
Anonymous10/17/16
Great
I came so munch reading this,I even got my brother to start fucking me while I read this,it felt so good,he came so munch on my ass.
...at the creativity & basically good writing of all of you. Nice work or play.
by
Anonymous02/02/17
More
More, for the love of all that makes us stroke our horny cocks, please give us more!!!!!!! Beautifully written, and I so loved the trap set for sister.
English
Friend?
Bringing Freddy in was a bad mistake. Completely ruined the story. I finished the story, but it just didn't get better after Freddy was brought into the fold. Sorry, no votes for this one.
Sorry ... You fucked up big time.. AGAIN....
I voted and left you a comment after reading your last chapter and told you I felt you made a big mistake by including Frederick in this story that he wasn't even related and being a Dom , his words. How can you have two Doms for a start.I think not..and suggested that you don't include him in this chapter. Michael was the main character The One AND ONLY DOM.. And his mother and sister was his and his alone SUBS......Frederick character in this story for me ruined this story and was totally unnecessary ...Sorry for the first time ever... NO VOTES
I think this story is really great! Don't listen to all the people hating on you. It's YOUR story, so YOU can write whatever you want. If they cared that much, they could just write their own. Job well done!! :)
I agree
I don't think the freind should be a Dom over the mother or sister but should ask permission from Michael
Another read, another 5 stars
It's been a year since my sister and I read this story, and we have to say it still gives us the hots, especially where daughters can Dom their moms, if only for a short time. And yes, Freddie is incidental to the story; he's not a full fledged dom, so he should ask permission, not as a sub but as a friend, of Michaels.
Keep up the good work!
5 stars, two thumbs up!
Cupcake and Kandi
Great read
I lovede how you turned everything around for the daughter sister. I found the story to be a good one from start to finish very much. For those that are telling you how to write a story need to write their own story the way they think it should be wrote, and not tell some one how to write a story when they don't have any idea as to how to write one them selves. This is a great read, thank you.
Something to think about
Fredrick was introduced much too soon...if at all. The Fredrick aspect in this story makes it very unrealistic for a number of reasons...that I am sure you would have been aware of. It would be interesting to know the reasons why Fredrick was included...
you seriously fucked it up
you f ucked it up by adding frederick , and you fucked it up by breaking the rule of that a pet can only have one master and seriously the fact that the friend joined made me alt f4 and killed my boner
Disturbing Bromance going on
Between Fred and Michael. Michael almost seems submissive to his friend. Who is really in control here? They all seem to jump from being 'master' to 'sub' every other paragraph. Masters are supposed to be commanding and confident, yet all seem insecure more than anything else. This just didn't work. You cannot have two masters. The story would have been so much better without Fred. Besides being an extra cock for two very short dp scenes, his continued addition to the story is pointless. What purpose does he serve, apart from being an irritating distraction? If you wanted Michael to share with his geeky friend, it should have been only with permission and never with Fred being in charge.
This would have been an awesome story without his needless and pointless addition.
What's next?
Are you going to have the immature boy-dom master every woman in the entire state? Every woman on earth? He comes across as needing permission to tie his shoe laces, yet here he is, ordering an obvious dominant personality onto her knees and she of course obeys? Unlikely at best. It's a repeating theme that lets many stories down on lit. Nerdy boy commands a harem, made up of EVERY woman he ever meets.
1. Entire towns or cities are NOT populated with hoardes of submissive women.
2. Immature and insecure boys are not believable doms.
3. The character of the sub mom, actually comes across as the dominant one, directing her son in how to 'own' her and reassuring him at every turn.
4. Doms rarely, or never, have or require more than one pet. Having him build up a harem of submissive women (who are written as confident and powerful dommes,BTW) at every turn removes any sense of believability. It comes across as Michael's shcoolboy's wet dream instead, and we are just waiting for him to wake up with a wet spot at any moment.
Great Story...
Clearly from the range of comments you understand you aren't going to be able to please everyone. I liked every nuance and turn of this story. Fredrick is a perfect secondary character. Fredrick's Mom, Crystal's college girlfriends, and Mrs. Hanna are all topics worthy of complete chapters. Ms Addison and the lesbians can make for some interesting content as well. You are ready for authorship if you can continue this level of plot. Well done Silk. Cordially, Paladin
Bad move keeping Frederick in the story, one star.
5
eat shit annony
The makings of an epic!
An absolutely fantastic series. You could; easily; continue by moving on to Fredericks mother. I am certain that an author of your calibre could formulate a tale of inter-familial incest. A sexual pentangle, so to speak. Love your work, please keep them; and us; coming. Cheers, Den
Great
I came so munch reading this,I even got my brother to start fucking me while I read this,it felt so good,he came so munch on my ass.
-anondemon
Amazed...
...at the creativity & basically good writing of all of you. Nice work or play.
More
More, for the love of all that makes us stroke our horny cocks, please give us more!!!!!!! Beautifully written, and I so loved the trap set for sister.
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