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English
Rushed
Pretty good story line but it felt rushed. There was a sense of unrealistic urgency. Could use more character development. You're in a car and the next thing you're in an office and then on the ground. Wouldn't you be on a floor? And why, what is it about your partner other than the texting is it that drives you totally crazy to desire your partner? Her hair, her body features, what?
Rest of the story...
This was hot and well written, so good job. The premise was arousing, and for those looking for a quick thrill, this would be a good one to start with.
For me, I like a little more story. I am not sure if this is a standalone or part of a bigger story, if its just an intro to these women, nice... if its a standalone i would have liked more character development, descriptions, backstory.
Still, great first submission :)
I LOVED IT!!
I thought it was great I don't know what that other person was talking about but your wording was great I been reading stories for years and YOUR the first to make me wanna leave feed back and I loved it sooo much it made me horny.. KEEP IT UP!!!
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