An interesting, hot & erotic read! Really makes one wonder if it can happen !
As so common with Susan's writings, there is obvious research done and we already know what a hot computer keyboard she has - this story is extremely hot with imagination of what could be in store for we readers. Again the cliffhanger ending having us wonder if he really hypnotised his sister for a moment or do the effects of the chant do Mom in? Almost hypnotised me! So well described, I could just visualize the shinny eye swishing in front of my face. A five star effort from SJP, more please I'm impatient this week! :) Thanks from Smiling Jaybird :) :)
Wow, I guess the author can't take constructive criticism since my comment from last week has been deleted. If you can't accept criticism of your work either don't allow any comments at all or don't submit stories with huge plot holes i.e. guy believes hypnotism is fake but sees one infomercial which he thinks is "live" and suddenly he believes hypnotism is real???
Very erotic throughout the story and also with a unique plot. I've only started reading some of this author's work and am already impressed with the detail.
This story can take off in so many directions. As long as Albert doesn't humiliate his mom and/or sister in front of their friends and neighbors or pimp them out, I am fine with it so far.
English
An interesting, hot & erotic read! Really makes one wonder if it can happen !
As so common with Susan's writings, there is obvious research done and we already know what a hot computer keyboard she has - this story is extremely hot with imagination of what could be in store for we readers. Again the cliffhanger ending having us wonder if he really hypnotised his sister for a moment or do the effects of the chant do Mom in? Almost hypnotised me! So well described, I could just visualize the shinny eye swishing in front of my face. A five star effort from SJP, more please I'm impatient this week! :) Thanks from Smiling Jaybird :) :)
pretty petty
Wow, I guess the author can't take constructive criticism since my comment from last week has been deleted. If you can't accept criticism of your work either don't allow any comments at all or don't submit stories with huge plot holes i.e. guy believes hypnotism is fake but sees one infomercial which he thinks is "live" and suddenly he believes hypnotism is real???
Cool.
Started reading your stories, so far I like it, heading for no.2.
interesting concept.
the thought of doing this is what makes your story soo erotic and almost believable.
GOOD READ
Very erotic throughout the story and also with a unique plot. I've only started reading some of this author's work and am already impressed with the detail.
Interesting beginning. Five Stars.
Now on to the next chapter.
A Spiderweb
This story can take off in so many directions. As long as Albert doesn't humiliate his mom and/or sister in front of their friends and neighbors or pimp them out, I am fine with it so far.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to You're Getting Very Sleepy Ch. 01 or
More submissions by SusanJillParker.