Chubby Goth Girl

Good story

Feel free to add more if you have the inspiration

hot story!

I could relate

Good wordsmithing. I read faster and faster through the entire story. A good thing. :-)

Nice

Good story. It needs a little editing but its still a good read. Get yourself an editor and keep writing.

enjoyed that too

ok, i read your latest, the elf one before i read this and now i am all hot & bothered. thankyou, that was realistic which is absolutely great! get so tired & desensitised from overly porno writing sometimes (sometimes lol). oh stupid thing logged me out sopharoones :)

Because I should...

Since I read it, I should review it. I kinda liked the idea of a quickie in the back room.

The protagonist is a strange mixture of uncaring jerk ("You're hot, so let's bone.") and considerate partner ("I hope she doesn't get fired because of me.") It's also funny how he assumes there will be more than a single encounter.

I can't really see them screwing out in the front area where anyone could pass by, though. Brianna answering the phone naked? Too risky. She probably had enough time to pull on her shirt, at least, and no one would see her naked from the waist down due to the counter.

Aside from the couple of typos and having to suspend disbelief somewhat, you had vivid descriptions. (Not too keen on all the talk of chub-sweat, her smell, and the acidic girl-juice, but to each his own.) And it seems like this could turn into something more than a one-off, so we'll see what happens in part two.